Siblings at Hospital Birth?

[fuzzypeach]

Anyone care to share their experiences of having the new baby's sibling(s) at the birth in a hospital setting? My DD will be a few months shy of four when this baby is due, and we would like to have her there.

I guess we would probably want another person there specifically to help with her, right? I needed DH's support constantly last time. Has anyone found that having their other children there impedes their labor process? Anything else I should be considering? TIA!

[JBaxter]

My oldest 2 were there when DS3 was born they were 9 &12 my mom who is an RN also was there with them. They did great and probably would have crawled in bed with me for a better view if mom didnt have a hold on them LOL.
This time DS3 will NOT be there he will be just shy of 5 and will not under stand pain even with someone there. He is SO excited about the baby I dont want to pop his little bubble that everything will be nice about hte baby coming. He HATES to see me in pain. The other day I was having some pretty strong braxton hicks and the baby was turing ( ok it felt like he was kicking my belly button out) he put 3 band aides on my tummy. Im crossing my fingers my labor is at night when he is asleep before I head to the hospital.

[Girlprof]

I think it depends on your child. Our DS had just turned 4 and he was there. He was with us in the beginning while we were getting set up and helped decorate the IV pole (I had to be induced). Then he hung around for awhile and eventually his grandparents took him shopping and for lunch. We had bought him a new toy so he had something fun to do. He was not there for the most intense labor. I needed to focus on what I was doing. But when it was time to push, he came back in with his grandmother. I think you definitely want another adult there for the child and you need someone who is happy to see the birth, but won't be crushed if they have to leave with the child.

We had watched some birth videos together and also practiced making noises so he would know what to expect. Check with your care providers too. Our MW was happy to have him there and even helped him get set up in a spot where he could see but was near grandma. I was pretty sure that it would help rather than hinder me to have him there and that was right. It was FANTASTIC to have him there. I think sibs should be at births if they and the parents are ok with it.

[*Robin*]

I was just coming to this board to post a similar question. I am glad to find yours. DS will be a few months under 3 years at the birth of #2. I definitely agree having an adult just for your older child is very important. I really want my DS there, but my problem is figuring out who to have with him. My mom would drive me insane, and would not be a good choice, plus she doesn't understand anything about natural/unmedicated and would probably make horrible comments like don't you think you want some pain medication, or something like that. My MIL would think it was HIGHLY inappropriate to have him in the room during the birth, and would probably purposely get him out of the room to walk around, or simply refuse to do it in the first place. And DS isn't really comfortable with anyone else, so I don't know who to find. I know it's a long way off (April) but I am feeling like DS isn't going to be able to be present for the birth because of this.

[avivaelona]

Reading with interest. I do think we are not going to have our DS who will be just shy of four at the actual birth, but he is allowed to room with us in the hospital so I do think we will do that if it seems to be working. I am interested though in case as he gets a little older we change our mind.

I am worried about the pain thing, DS really gets upset if I cry or yell ouch. I don't want him to associate his sibling with that. But I really do want him to feel part of the process. We'll see.

[amcaugusta]

DD1 was there when DD2 was born, she was just 27 months old. We watched birth movies together, talked about it, etc. She was fine. I loved having her there as looking at my baby was a reminder of why I was doing what I was dong. I had several support people there for her as well.

I plan on having both my DD's there this time. They willl have support people for them as well. Just like I will have birth affirmations that people can encourage me with... I will have some positive affirmations outlined to use with the kids if they get uncomfortable. Also, they can leave the room at anytime they feel uncomfortable or just plain bored.

[meganmarie]

Having someone else there (not DH!) to be completely responsible for the child is key. I was very distracted from my labor when my ds was around (laboring at home before going to hospital). The contractions only really kicked in and got serious the second he left to go to the library with his nanny. I couldn't help it, when he was there I was splitting my focus, and when he was gone I was able to completely turn my focus inwards to the work I needed to do, and relax and not think about caring for ds, and that was what my body needed. This may not be how you feel, but in case it does, you want to be prepared for that eventuality.

[JessesGirl23]

My daughter was 5 1/2 at the time my son was born she was at home with us the whole time I was laboring and stayed at the hospital when we decided to go. She ended up falling asleep in my hospital room shortly before we decided on a cesarean (after 66 hours of labor). My homebirth midwife's teenage daughter stayed with her the whole time, we would've woke her up for the birth had we had him naturally, but my son was delivered at about 3am and we let her sleep until about 6:30, so she got to see her new brother then she went home with my grandparents. She was very well behaved though throughout the very loooooong labor.