PPD or not PPD

[Sweetmilo]

I'm worried I have PPD. this is the absolute first time I've even had the words out of my head....typed, spoken or any other form of communication. I"m tired, even after I've slept all day, I keep getting sick, I feel like I yell at my daughter (3 yrs) all the time (and she's a REALLY good kid, almost always does what I ask) and tonight, when my son (he's 5 months) was having a painful gas experience, I felt like I wanted to just leave them both and run away. I was pissed, like this deep scary anger that I almost couldn't control.

I took a ten minute break while my daughter sang to him, and I checked my email. (he wasn't crying at this time, but I needed space?) I'm afraid to tell my husband how I am feeling because of his workload (he works full time, and is also going to school full time) He'll want me to go to counseling, but we can't afford it.....though if it is ppd, i guess we would have to find a way...

Am I in denial? I'm not sure what to do, and I feel very alone. I don't have any friends I can trust with this info. I can trust my hubby, I just can't overload him............


before i had babies, i was always this laid back person. Now I feel like I'm always just about to lose it (my temper) I wanna be laid back again........

[Sweetmilo]

I didn't see the post with the like for the quiz about ppd.....i scored a 74

[amma_mama]

Be proud taht you have taken the first important step. I can only imagine how hard it was to put those words down on paper. But please know that you are not alone.

If you do not want to talk to your husband about it yet (though I would encourage you to do so, sooner rather than later), please call your OB/GYN in the morning. They should be able to give you some resources in your community. There may be group counseling available that would be lower in cost. I understand that you do not want to overburden your husband, but the best way to do that is to take care of yourself.

Also, I would suggest that if your husband's employer offers an Employee Assistance Program that you call this evening. It is confidential and they can refer you to a provider at a discounted rate if your insuarnce does not cover this.

Please let us know how you are doing.

[berkeleyp]

I'm worried I have PPD. this is the absolute first time I've even had the words out of my head....typed, spoken or any other form of communication. I"m tired, even after I've slept all day, I keep getting sick, I feel like I yell at my daughter (3 yrs) all the time (and she's a REALLY good kid, almost always does what I ask) and tonight, when my son (he's 5 months) was having a painful gas experience, I felt like I wanted to just leave them both and run away. I was pissed, like this deep scary anger that I almost couldn't control.

I took a ten minute break while my daughter sang to him, and I checked my email. (he wasn't crying at this time, but I needed space?) I'm afraid to tell my husband how I am feeling because of his workload (he works full time, and is also going to school full time) He'll want me to go to counseling, but we can't afford it.....though if it is ppd, i guess we would have to find a way...

Am I in denial? I'm not sure what to do, and I feel very alone. I don't have any friends I can trust with this info. I can trust my hubby, I just can't overload him............

I could have written your post. My dh has his own business and he works ALL the time, which is a stress in and of itself. I often feel like I must be stronger and can't afford to allow myself to be depressed or seek help. I can usually deny my unhappiness and be OK but then I blow up sometimes and feel so aweful. Maybe I'm not really that depressed.

I actually did run away briefly the other day. I've been sick a lot and I gave dh the baby so I could take some pills and have some tea. She cried and he held her practically in my face. I got in my car and drove around for awhile and then felt so sad that I really didn't have anyplace to go but home.