Socialization? - Page 2

[lovinlife1219]

It's so funny because in school, I would get A's and B's on my report card and in that very same class I would get a U (unsatisfactory) or an N (forget what it stood for, but it was bad) and the reason every single time? "Talks too much in class" or something to that affect. I guess I was "too" socialized?

My dad flat out told me that I was "not doing him a favor" and that I was "making the wrong decision" because of homeschooling and the whole socialization factor. He is an extremely smart man but isn't it amazing how ignorant people can be on the subject?

My son is four, and like most homeschoolers that I've met IRL and on this message board, he can carry on a conversation with anyone, anywhere, about anything, of any age. He isn't stuck in a room full of four year olds, and yes, he gets along much better with children that are 6+, but I guess I don't see how that means he is "un" socialized. I am 23 and get along much better with people that are 30+. How is that any different? I don't think I will ever understand that! I think that most people have this view of the kids being stuck at home, never seeing or talking with anyone other than mommy, and being super geeky or weird. Well, first of all, what is "weird"? Have you SEEN these public schooled kids lately? Yikes! My brothers are all "emo'd" out...and I think they are pretty weird! (But I love em!) Sorry for the long response. I probably didn't even really answer you, I just kinda went off on a ramble!

[heket]

Emo kids aren't any weirder than the goth kid I was back in the day.

It sounds like your dad has somethings to work through that may come by way of example with your child having been homeschooled.

PS. I thought N= not satisfactory, no different than an unsatisfactory save the grade they would use it. Like for me, U was for grades 1-3 and an N was for 4-6.

[lovinlife1219]

Originally Posted by heket

Emo kids aren't any weirder than the goth kid I was back in the day.

It sounds like your dad has somethings to work through that may come by way of example with your child having been homeschooled.

PS. I thought N= not satisfactory, no different than an unsatisfactory save the grade they would use it. Like for me, U was for grades 1-3 and an N was for 4-6.

Yeah, I wasn't sure, I just remember I was constantly getting bad remarks for socializing! I don't think the "emo" kids are weird, I meant my brothers they are great kids, but weird! And I am weird too, SUPER weird I think. But that was my point, what is "weird"? Different to everyone

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by greenthumb3

For some reason, many people seem to think school will "fix" things in kids better than families can.

I totally agree.

It doesn't matter what it is, I get different comments all the time. My DD can be too outgoing so that means she would be better off in a school all day learning when it's appropriate to talk and when it is not. My boys are shy and backwards so they have no socialization skills and need to be in school. So in essence, no matter what type of personality my kids tend to have they would be better off in a school all day and not with me.

The people who do not homeschool are always blaming homeschooling for the way our children are, no matter what their personality is. I can't stand people who do that. It seems that in some people's minds school is the only way to raise a smart and decent child, but yet I've seen kids with the same personality traits as my kids come out of public schools. It's no different. Why can't people see that it's not the school, it's the child!!

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by p1gg1e

What does that really mean. When I talk to others about school and my ODD they tell me " well you want her to be socialized" or " how will she get socialization?"

It's been a long time since anyone said that to me, but I used to respond by asking them, "What do you mean by socialization?" More often than not, they would give me a blank look. I think it was a question that they'd heard and repeated without giving it any thought. Other times, their question was about playmates and I could just answer, "Oh, they have friends." and leave it at that.

From my understanding just being you are socialized into some culture. Or is this the fear of them not fitting in with the whole of society

If that was what they were really concerned about, I'd point out that my kids are living out in the world every day, and not in a classroom with the same 30 kids.

Originally Posted by greenthumb3

For some reason, many people seem to think school will "fix" things in kids better than families can.

.

That's a convenient response when EVERY personality type is seen as a "problem." Your child is too talkative? Send him to school where he'll learn to be quiet when the teacher says so. Child too shy? Send him to school so he has to be around lots of people all the time. Child too bossy? Send him to school where he can be put in his place. Child too easy-going send him to school where he has to compete to keep up. Child too sweet? Send him to school so he can toughen up...

Funny thing is, the things some people thought needed fixing in my kids were things that they either outgrew (like shyness) or, things that, outside of school became very valuable traits (like being easygoing, sweet and generous.)

[p1gg1e]

Originally Posted by lovinlife1219

My dad flat out told me that I was "not doing him a favor" and that I was "making the wrong decision" because of homeschooling and the whole socialization factor. He is an extremely smart man but isn't it amazing how ignorant people can be on the subject?

Yes it is. People think that the kids they meet are odd and really they are BUT not in a bad way and I think it makes adults uncomfortable to have such self assured kids. I don't think Ive meet many people that have meet adults that were HS to see the finished "product".

[Milakais]

Originally Posted by lovinlife1219

N (forget what it stood for, but it was bad)

"Needs Improvement", I think. (At least, there was such a 'grade' here when I was young, IIRC.)

[rahrahgobg]

When people ask this question, they just want to validate their choices on putting their children in the public school system.

Vicki