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June Mama's Nov 1st - 8th - Page 4

post #61 of 105
WOW, you mamas have been BUSY!!!!!!! i love coming to work in the morning and seeing all sorts of new posts.

i went to sleep at 9 last night...VERY early for me...and FINALLY was able to get 9 hours of sleep.
it was SO nice. i feel like a new woman today.

erin, my first m/w appt was absolutely wonderful. i know you've heard it a million times now, but go interview another one or two. it must be that your midwife doesn't specialize in home birth...and it sounds like that's the mentality you're looking for.

modestodoula...i am not very nauseous at all either. only mild nausea and only a few times. i feel so bad for all you pukey moms, but in one way i sorta wish i felt a little worse...my worry meter raises the better i feel, you know? i just hope the little peanut is still healthy and growing.

julie...PEANUT BUTTER, baby. all natural with no hydrogenated oils. at least for me, that's what works...when i do feel nauseous, i have a little pb with some bread or crackers and it hits the spot every time. quinoa is really good for you too...it's a grain but it's really high in protein. and nuts...walnuts especially...are a good source of protein and also omega-3 fatty acids.

have a great day everyone!

-laura
post #62 of 105
Thanks for all your responses you guys! Much appreciated.

I live in Rhode Island and I find it SO hard to find anyone who will even TALK about homebirth here! Most people just look at me like I'm or....I swear to you...it ends the conversation. I have had two e-mail conversations with people who are casual aquaintances (sp?)...one who is a lactation consultant and one who is involved with LLL. Both times it was a fun back and forth chat about pregnancy and birth and babies until I asked if they had any resources for me on homebirth. Both times I did not hear back...that was the end of the conversation.

Queen ~ I appreciate your perspective about some midwives not warming up until after the first trimester. I do intend to go back for a second visit and see how it feels then. And my third appointment will be with her partner, who I have not met but have heard really good things about. (Even if I do go for a homebirth I want to be an established patient there in case of transfer.)

The funny thing is...I did interview midwives before I was pregnant. I interviewd three different ones and I selected this practice because it felt the most comfortable.

But really....in my state all the CPMs attend only hospital births (they can lose their license for attending homebirth).....and my experience has been (just interviewing three) that as well-intentioned as they are...they really are med-wives.

But when I'm honest with myself....I see myself working with a crunchy homebirth midwife and giving birth in my living room (or maybe my bathtub! ) and NOT in a hospital so....I need to at least set up some appointments with a couple of lay midwives from Connecticut and see if I can find what I'm looking for and see if John can have his fears alleviated by talking with them!

Oh COOL thing....

A little proof that my DH DOES listen to me about stuff...I mean I've been teaching prenatal yoga for over a year and did my doula training this summer so I am ALWAYS quoting books to him (Spiritual Midwifery, Birthing from Within, The Thinking Woman's Guide...etc.)

So when we were talking with the midwife yesterday John asked about any immediate vaccinations and if we could refuse them.

She said they offer the first of the Hep B series before leaving the hospital (ugh...more like 10 minutes after birth from what I've seen). He put on his best inquisitive face.....and was like....so what are your thoughts on that?? Is a newborn baby at a high risk for contracting Hep B?

She said she supports whatever decision we make but that if it was her child she would do the Hep B vax....in this day and age...etc.

John was like....I guess I'm just wondering about the need to do it so soon after birth. And she was kind of like....well it's totally up to you....you have the right to refuse it. I'll support whatever you decide.

Not a big deal but I was just proud of my DH. And it made me feel like WOW...he HAS been listening to all the stuff I've been saying (or at least some of it).

Julie ~ Black beans have been one of my protein craving lately. This morning I had an omlet with black beans and cheese (I didn't have a ripe avacado....DARN otherwise I would have sliced one up.) I'm also eating lots of peanut butter (actually I prefer almond butter - just taste-wise) and snacking on nuts whenever possible. We also use TVP on pizza and in sauces for added protein.

Modesto Doula ~ Welcome!!

Donna, Robin, Queen (and anyone else who is feeling sicky) ~ Hope you are feeling better today! We're getting there....just a few more weeks!!

Laura ~ Glad you got some nice last night!!!


~Erin
post #63 of 105
dharmama
You can talk to me about homebirth all you want, we are neighbors! I live in Seekonk, 4 miles from Providence.
With DS#1 I planned a homebirth, so I know what you are up against. Lucky for me though, I was attending a midwifery school in Barrington at the time (they have since moved to Lemonstier MA) so I did have a very supportive group of ladies to talk to once a month. But after laboring for 4 days at home, I did transfer to a hospital in Boston with my back up OB (an awsome doc who strongly believed in HB) and one of his midwives caught my baby.

I remember the very well...
Good for your DH for paying attention!
post #64 of 105

thanks all!

Thank you so much for the diet tips!! We are going to the store today to get more green tea and now I have some alternatives to meat. I even bought some TVP a while ago but was intimidated by it so haven't used it yet. How do you cook it?

As for peanut butter, I have been reading Eating Well For Optimum Health by Dr. Andrew Weil. He says to avoid peanut butter because it most likely contains "traces of aflatoxin, a natural carcinogen produced by a mold that commonly grows on peanuts." He says it is also higher in sat fat than other nut butters. Anyone else hear anything about this?

Abby-You are not alone in the fear of tandem nursing. My ds is almost 20 months and I am debating whether tandem nursing or weaning will make him more jealous of the baby. He doesn't like to share me with anyone, even his dad. He isn't talking much, though, so nursing tends to bridge that gap. I'm hoping he'll pick up words quicker before this one is born. He is just now starting to get molars, too, so his diet has been a bit restricted, which also contributes to the nursing!

Erin-Cheers for Husbands who listen!! It's so gratifying to know they are supportive of something you are interested in.

Modestodoula-I was born in Modesto! Dr. Chastain delivered me in his office-very progressive then, and his wife delivered my brothers at home after he passed away. I have a question for you-my best friend lives in Modesto and she will be flying out to Colorado to be a support person for my birth (my dh said he would like to have another person there this time-last time was a little much for him to do alone). My problem is that I want her to have an idea of what she's doing-I am afraid she'll be too helpful and I'll want to strangle her. I am flying home to CA in dec for a month or so-do you think we could meet up with you and see if you could give her a little training before the baby is born? E-mail me at mattjule@adelphia.net we can discuss prices and such...

Everyone-I am the lastest edd of everyone I think, 6/30, so my m/s is starting to get worse. I am tired all day in a not quite able to sleep but too tired to do anything but lay on the couch sort of way. I told dh this morning that I won't be doing the dishes for 6 wks. They smell so gross! He took it well, just finished them now, I think. Poopy diapers are the worst! Of course ds always has one when dh is at work. I think they are conspiring against me. Our house is a perpetual disaster. I am the anal-retentive one in the house and I don't even care right now, so between 17 yr old brother, messy and tired dh, and toddler ds, I'm surprised we can see carpet at all. I have been trying to get a business off the ground, sewing handbags and such, have a lot of Christmas presents to make and haven't touched my sewing machine in a week. I really need this tiredness to pass so I can get things done. Everyone may have to get xmas presents in FEB!

I just wanted to say that I love this thread-the mainstream June 2004 birth clubs are so huge it is impossible to keep track of whos who and feel a connection. I feel really listened to here. Thanks ladies.

Julie
post #65 of 105
Wow. I can't even begin to start to read all the posts. I basically understand that everyone feels like crap on toast at one part of the day or another and that we have some new mamas!!



I have to have home health care now. I am starting tomorrow I hope. I have to do IV therapy and the RN will put something in the form of a needle somewhere in my thigh and do something....I am on Zofran three times a day for sickness, but it doesn't work too well. It makes me feel metal-ish.....The Zofran will go into the needle like thing somewhere in my thigh for something. creepy, I don't even want to think about it....

I hope everyone starts to feel better soon. It is hard for me to come on here. I am having a really hard time right now.


The CNM's that are medically managing me don't know that i am having a homebirth. I haven't told them. I know it is wrong and I feel terrible about it, but my health is more important and I need to feel better. I will let them know eventually that I am "thinking" about it again ( I had Kettie at home) and that I wasn't sure I could afford it or something...who knows. I am wrong, but trying to protect myself from the hyperemesis.
post #66 of 105
Oh Sarah EXTRA hugs and support to you. What an ordeal! I hope those other MN tribe mamas are mothering you now!!

You know, you've just got to do what you've got to do. Are you thinking the CNM's that are managing your medical health issues won't want to help you if you tell them you are planning a homebirth? Whatever the reason, you do what feels like needs to be done. They'll understand. If not, they'll get over it!!!
Again...HUGS. I wish I could do something to help, but I fear I'm too far away!

Abby
post #67 of 105
I had my first midwife appointment today. Oh how I love the practice that I see. I saw my favorite one today and she was just so excited for us! She remembered my youngests name and played w/ the kids. It was great. She delivers at our local hospital/birth center but she is just wonderful. We had a nice chat about vaccines and all the crap the state requires. I asked her how I go about getting out of the eye goup after birth and she said sadly you can't unless you want cps knocking at your door. UGH! SHe agrees that it is rediculous that even though I have never had an std and I am not at risk for getting one my sweet little baby has to have the goup. &%$$ State! She did agree w/ me about no hep-b. She was not vaccinated when she was a child because her dad didn't believe in them and she said she's always been very healty. It was a nice conversation!

Sandi
post #68 of 105
Sandi ~ Congrats! That's wonderful...glad you have such a nice connection with your midwife!

Oh Sarah I'm so sorry!! I don't think you should feel terrible about anything...you need to do whatever you have to do for you and your baby!

Ahhhh...you guys!!! Thank you SO much for all your encouragement to keep looking...

I spent most of today sending out e-mails to midwives in Conn. (shhh...don't tell my boss : ). I got a wonderful response from one. She does not attend in RI but she gave me some names of people who do!

She also invited me to a homebirth support group next Friday. They are having a tag sale, followed by a meeting on the safety of homebirth (how perfect). I e-maild DH and told him that I need him to pursue this with me....not that I'm 100% sure it's what I want (only 99.9 :LOL ).....but I NEED to explore it as a possibility. I haven't heard back from him but I know he will go along -- reluctantly I'm sure -- but he will do it for me.

I'm so glad you are all here!!!!! I'm really looked at as a in my little mainstream world. SO nice to come here and have my instincts validated!!!!

(happy tears)

~Erin
post #69 of 105
I'm suprised at how many husbands seem to be opposed to the idea of homebirth. With DS we had planned ona hospital birth for most of my pregnancy, and had talked about maybe having a homebirth for our second.

Until the hospital tour. I went with one question "Will I be supported in my decision to have an un-medicated birth?" The nurses response was "Yeah, but the women who come in with THAT attitude are ALWAYS the first to ask for drugs."

After that, I was dreading labour, and saying I wanted to labour at home, just be at the hospital for the birth, and then leave again ASAP. I planned on packing a permanent marker to bring with me, so I could write 'No supplements' on his forehead, 'No cut' on his penis and my phone number on his chest, along with about a half dozen other instructions. I planned on not letting him leave my sight, but was afraid I might fall asleep or something.

It was Kevin who suggested that we have the homebirth, after I came up with all of that (I think he was worried they'd take the baby away if I wrote all over it, or put me in the psych ward) I was probably about 32 weeks pregnant at that point.

We didn't tell our family right away, so we only had to deal with negativity about it for a few weeks, and Kevin came up with the best response ever for when people ask "Why wouldn't you WANT to go to the hospital?" He just said that he doesn't like paying for parking. People tend to drop the subject once they know they aren't going to get any serious answers.
post #70 of 105
Ugh! I just typed this nice long post and this computer somehow ate it.

So, here goes... Julie, try the tvp crumbled in sauces and in chili with beans, lasagna but not as a substitute in Hamburger Helper. No way! We tried it and it was not a good thing.

How do you calculate your due date? I used to have a chart but who knows where it is?

Anyone out there having headaches? I actually had coffee to get rid of it. One of the worst ever today.

I would love to have a homebirth, but with ds, I was pre-eclamptic and had to deliver in the hospital. They were very good about respecting our wishes and the nurses did such a nice job. This area is pretty progressive and I did not see any of the horrors that I had heard about. Guess I was lucky.

Good luck to all and hope that all of us get a good night sleep!

Hey, I was wondering, I am fighting to not throw up so much of the time, it is exhausting in itself. Should I just stop fighting it and throw up? Does that help?:
post #71 of 105
I like the idea of writing stuff on the baby! It can also be a good idea to write stuff on yourself, like "no episiotomy."
post #72 of 105
I guess what I am asking in regard to TVP is, do I have to soften it up first, like in water, or does it go directly from the package to the sauce? If it goes in the sauce dry, how long does it need to soften before it's edible?

Sarah-I really feel for you! I agree that you should do whatever you need to to ensure a healthy, happy pregnancy for you and your baby. If your mw's had a more open attitude, you wouldn't feel the need to deceive them, so chock it up to more narrowmindedness, not being a bad person.

Sandi-I have heard a lot about scares with CPS on the forum, but if you come armed with studies, would they really call CPS on you? I have found that the more educated you are, the less people feel like bullying you. It's so much easier to intimidate the ignorant.

Also, how big is the hospital you are birthing in? Is it possible they won't have time to breathe down your neck about it?

If you are birthing in the center, only the mw's would know whether or not you agreed to it, seems unlikely they would call CPS.

Your mw's sound awesome, I don't want to be down on them, but it seems like they are pressuring you to do something you don't want to do.

If you can legally refuse it, no one can really do anything to you. They can threaten, but unless your child comes down with an eye infection, there would be no evidence of neglect and no judge would rule against you. Feel free to make that clear to them.

You could also get tested the week of your due date and bring the results to the hosp. Or you could promise to have your baby checked (which would normally happen anyway) the day after and 3 days after and maybe even a week after to ease their minds.

Make the nurses wear gloves! Your baby has a right to see your face!

I read on a thread somewhere that a mother refused to let the nurses bathe her baby. It was a bit of a fight, but they finally said ok. They told her the nurses would have to wear gloves when touching the baby until it had a bath! It sounds ridiculous, but so what if the nurses have to wear gloves? Who knows what they are carrying around anyway?

Sorry ladies, I just feel very strongly about the eye goop. I think it is one of the most unneccessary, demeaning, and pointless hospital procedures still practiced. That is one of the reasons I had a HB, although I am not belittling your choice AT ALL, Sandi. I just know I would fight everything and that makes everyone in the situation uncomfortable. Better to be somewhere where the fighting is unneccessary.
post #73 of 105
Noteworthy-sounds like caffeine withdrawal! In college I drank tons of soda. After a while I hated what it did to my teeth so I quit. HOLY COW! I had the worst headaches and nothing helped. They were excrutiating for a week, then went away. I have stayed away from caffeine ever since. My dh works in a coffee shop and gets withdrawal headaches on his days off. It's pretty nasty stuff.

He also gets headaches when he doesn't drink enough water. Water makes his goes away almost immediately, but I have found when I get a headache from lack of water, the damage is done and I could drink a lake and the headache would still be there.

As for a due date calculator, I went to this site. http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/pr...calculator.asp
It takes your cycle length into account, so I think it is a little more accurate than those 28 day things.

Homebirthharriet-sounds like you have a keeper! I also love the idea of writing all over everybody. I would have to write "don't intimidate him" on dh forehead. It's so easy to get him to agree to anything if he thinks I am in danger and you know how they like to paint everything in the worst light. I love your choice to have a hb. How brave! Not to have one, but to fly in the face of an opposition that uses scare tactics and mass disapproval.

Hey, dh asked me this earlier and I thought I'd ask you guys. we live in an apartment complex and are giving birth at home. He asked me if we could get evicted for it. I told him I am fairy positive our lease doesn't say anything about it, but I thought I'd ask if any of you encountered anything like this. We lived in an apt with our first and didn't tell our landlords about our hb, but they were friend of my il's and I don't think they would have had the gall to evict us for it. We moved the next month anyway, which is what we are planning this time too.
post #74 of 105
mattjule- Thanks! I am planning on doing some more research and then taking that with me to the birth place (a hospital run birth center). I have to meet with them anyway and we'll see what comes of it. My biggest concern though is if cps is called in, they make me REALLY nervous esp. because we co-sleep and won't really have a "real" bed set up for the baby and I'll be tandum nursing a newborn and 2 1/2 year old. I have just heard some horror stories about what cps can put you through in the name of "saving" my children. I have to half wonder if it's just better all around to just get the eye goup and move on.

In regards to your question about your apartment the only thing I can think of that can cause you problems are: Noise(if you happen to be a vocal laborer) and it's in the middle of the night, Birth tub if you have a stipulation about water beds in your lease, and damage to the rug should you get anything on it during the birth. Other then those minor things I think you should be fine.

BTW my mom and her husband own several apartments so this is where I got some of my info from.
post #75 of 105
There was a thread in the Homebirth forum about how some landlords are considering putting "no intentional births in the unit" into the rental agreement. So I'd check yours, and not plan on telling the landlord. If you think you might scream a lot, use a pillow because someone will probably call the police.

You could always say it just happened too fast to get to the hospital, unless you have a midwife. That might be hard to explain! Maybe say she was just passing by and heard the screams and stopped in to help you, since she realized it was too late to go to the hospital.

Their main concerns were noise and mess. Just put those Chux pads everywhere!
post #76 of 105
Brooke, Julie, and Abby, I'm with you on the tandem nursing. I was thinking I'd definately do it, but now the thought is overwhelming to me. I'm not sure if I can handle it. I'm having a hard time nursing dd. She's 21 months old. I feel sick sometimes when she wants to nurse and my nipples are sore. She's really been switching sides alot too. I definately HAVE to nightwean her. I just can't nurse all night anymore.

Sarah, I'm so sorry you're going through that. It really sucks.

Sandi, I go see my midwife tomorrow. She rocks! It's only her in the practice, so if you go there she's the one at the delivery. I totally love that. Plus, she's totally non-interventional.

Dharmama, good luck pursuing your homebirth. I hope you get your wish!

Everyone else, I hope you're all feeling ok and take care!
post #77 of 105
Well, today I learned that I'm anemic. It's a major bummer for me, but I guess that explains why I'm totally drained after carrying a load of laundry downstairs or something. I've been eating tons of meat, too! I don't know how much more food I can put into my body. I'm a little concerned, because my anemias are not always from lack of iron. (I've got funny hemoglobin. ). If I up my iron intake, and my hematocrit doesn't go up I'll know the deal.

For those who have read Adventures in Tandem Nursing: what is it about that book that seems to make so many of you not want to do it?! I'm planning to tandem nurse; my son is way too young to wean (he'll be a year old Saturday) and he's totally not interested in weaning anyway. I saw a nurse and WIC, and everyone was thrilled that I'm still nursing my son and plan to continue after the new baby is born. I've only gotten positive feedback about it, from people who've done it and people who haven't. I don't feel like it's a choice for me to make: I made a choice to get pregnant while ds was still nursing, and I don't think it's fair for me to wean him now, when he didn't have a say in it, ykwim?

I have no desire to talk dh into a home birth, but that's a whole different thread. :LOL I have told him that I want to deliver in the same hospital I had Eli, even though it's now an hour and a half away. He's a little concerned that my labor will be faster and we won't make it in time. I think he's insane; even if my labor takes 1/10th of the time the first one did, we'll have plenty of time to get to the hospital & get settled in, even with traffic. :LOL He just doesn't want to catch a baby on the side of the interstate. I guess I can understand that. :LOL

Hope everyone's m/s will be subsiding soon.. I'm still waiting for mine to kick in. :LOL
post #78 of 105
elionwy- nothing about the book made me not want to, lol! I recommend it mostly for mothers who are either struggling with the decision or haveing bad problems, though i dont fit into either of those categories myself,one of the reasons i offered to pass my copy on.

I, too, believe in my son's right to nurse till he's done, and wouldnt wean him. he is not ready, and when he is ready he will wean himself. i realize it is a personal decision for everyone, and i agree with you- i made the decision to be pregnant! I have to tell myself that often when i am sick and miserable, and just know things will be great after this next month!

i, also, dont know anyone who has regretted tandem nursing (irl) and everyone is supportive and happy!

tabitha
post #79 of 105
I never read the book. I practice attachment parenting, as it sounds like we all do, but I am not a very "touchy-feely" person. It has gotten harder and harder to nurse someone who bites all the time and does somersaults and switches 4 times a session. I just feel like he will be really jealous of the baby and I will not EVER have a moment where my body is my own. I question my coping skills. I have not decided for sure that I will not tandem nurse, I tend to do the thing that requires the least amount of work lol.

BTW, his new thing is to climb on my lap and say na na na na na (nurse). I get out a breast, he says nonononono, pulls down my shirt, waits until I have everything back in, then pulls up my shirt and wants the one I just put away! ARGH! Or (my other favorite) he'll refuse the breast I get out for no reason and refuse to nurse on that one for the session even when the other is empty, but he'll keep pulling off and saying nanananana then reattach to the same one! It's like it is a power struggle more than it is a nurturing environment. I really hop ehe weans himself.

All my brothers and sisters were bf and tandem nursed and I was the worst about weaning. My mom is very, um, let's say liberal and even she said if she hadn't started weaning me I'd still be nursing today. She was a LLLI leader for 20 years so I believe her when she says that. I REALLY hope ds is not that way.
post #80 of 105
I planned a homebirth while living in a highrise and laboured at home for 36 hours before being transfered to the hospital. I live in an apartment building again and I'm once again planning a homebirth. Last time, I didn't tell anyone that the birth was going to be at home and I'll do the same this time. I wasn't as loud during labour as I thought I would be and the midwives made sure that the floors were protected. I really don't think that there will be any problem this time--the good thing about the new apartment is that we have an ensuite washer and dryer so it makes having a homebirth that much better

My toddler just turned two and I don't think that I am going to tandem nurse. But I feel ambivalent about weaning since he is so emotionally attached to nursing and since it allows me to rest during the day. However, my breasts hurt and I am positive that tandem nursing will be overwhelming for me. I think we are going to try night-weaning first and after that, I think the daytime nursing will lessen.
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