This doesn't entirely belong here, but TAO is closed, and it's at least somewhat relevant.
Back story (skip to "question" if you don't wanna read this)
I'm 21 years old, a full time college student, and I tend to move around a lot. I'm up at college 30 weeks of the year, the other 22 weeks I'm in Boston, or DC, or Los Angeles, or NYC... you get the picture. I don't really have a "constant" living situation.
Now, I'm not on great terms with most of my family - I'm very much the black sheep in that I went to college, I moved cross country, I'm queer, I'm not married, I don't have kids, etc. By 21 every one of my cousins and siblings had at least one kid, if not more.
Question:
I don't particularly like receiving gifts from my family members for holidays/birthdays. Since high school I've just been saying "oh, I don't need anything" and, if pushed, I just ask for a gift certificate to a bookstore or something. Recently I've been asking for donations to different organizations made in my name. These donations never really get made, but it usually it gets the relative off my back.
However, my aunt recently emailed me asking what I wanted for my 21st birthday (which was in June...) and I sent her this:
Hi aunt B___!
Thanks so much for thinking of me! You really don't need to get me anything for my birthday; just knowing that you thought of me is enough! I can't really handle a lot of stuff at this point, as I move around so much. However, if you'd like to make a donation to ____ (women's shelter back home) or the National Center for Transgender Equality (org I really love/support), that would be great! I hope you, Uncle L___, J, J, K and S are all doing well. And I'd love to see some recent pictures of baby J!
I figured it was fairly mundane letter. Nothing too offensive.
She, well, kinda flipped out.
Said I was being pompous and rude, and that I was basically saying that I needed nothing from her. That this kind of thing was OK to ask for from people I don't know well, or if I was having a large party, but to ask family members not to give me gifts was rude.
Is it? Would you be offended by a niece, nephew, son, daughter, whatever who asked for charity donations instead of gifts? Does it show that I dislike my aunt or something?
Back story (skip to "question" if you don't wanna read this)
I'm 21 years old, a full time college student, and I tend to move around a lot. I'm up at college 30 weeks of the year, the other 22 weeks I'm in Boston, or DC, or Los Angeles, or NYC... you get the picture. I don't really have a "constant" living situation.
Now, I'm not on great terms with most of my family - I'm very much the black sheep in that I went to college, I moved cross country, I'm queer, I'm not married, I don't have kids, etc. By 21 every one of my cousins and siblings had at least one kid, if not more.
Question:
I don't particularly like receiving gifts from my family members for holidays/birthdays. Since high school I've just been saying "oh, I don't need anything" and, if pushed, I just ask for a gift certificate to a bookstore or something. Recently I've been asking for donations to different organizations made in my name. These donations never really get made, but it usually it gets the relative off my back.
However, my aunt recently emailed me asking what I wanted for my 21st birthday (which was in June...) and I sent her this:
Hi aunt B___!
Thanks so much for thinking of me! You really don't need to get me anything for my birthday; just knowing that you thought of me is enough! I can't really handle a lot of stuff at this point, as I move around so much. However, if you'd like to make a donation to ____ (women's shelter back home) or the National Center for Transgender Equality (org I really love/support), that would be great! I hope you, Uncle L___, J, J, K and S are all doing well. And I'd love to see some recent pictures of baby J!
I figured it was fairly mundane letter. Nothing too offensive.
She, well, kinda flipped out.
Said I was being pompous and rude, and that I was basically saying that I needed nothing from her. That this kind of thing was OK to ask for from people I don't know well, or if I was having a large party, but to ask family members not to give me gifts was rude.
Is it? Would you be offended by a niece, nephew, son, daughter, whatever who asked for charity donations instead of gifts? Does it show that I dislike my aunt or something?
