Last Days of Summer

[aricha]

My step-daughter gets on the airplane tomorrow to fly 3000 miles to her other home. It's the end of an amazing summer, and our family (including her 3 year old brother) have really soaked up the time and revelled in having our whole family together.

As you might imagine, I've been more or less falling apart for the last two days, but trying to keep up the normal, happy face and power through work and family routines. I do my best to be excited for her about seeing her mom, to support my son as he grapples with his understanding of her leaving. It doesn't take much for the tears to brim, for my voice to crack during bedtime songs, to need to slip from the room quietly to try to compose myself.

These have been, perhaps, the hardest days I can remember. I know there are lots of people going through this right now, whether they are sending children to second homes, taking little ones to Kindergarten, or sending their babies off to college. My thoughts are with all of us as we face these tough transitions in life... it's a tough time of year for a lot of us. Take care of yourselves, everyone.

[musiclady]

aricha

What a good momma you are. It's hard. I'm so glad that you had a wonderful summer, and it sounds like your family has been able to develop a closeness that not even 3000 miles can dampen. Just grab her tight, hug her hard, go ahead and sniffle. And take a box of tissues for the ride home.

I hope that you find the inner peace and strength to make it through the departure. You are a good momma and she's lucky to have you.

[strangeduck]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine having to do what you're doing. I think it's okay to let your sd know that you're sad that she's leaving. I think it's wonderful for you to try and share her excitement, but you should acknowledge the sadness, too.

[ma_vie_en_rose]

I think hearing DD1 talk about how much she misses having her big sister here everyday is what tears me apart. We have her EOW, too. I can't imagine how hard the long distance custody is.

[cutekid]

I know how you feel! Hard for them to be with us and even more difficult to see them go. When my step kids left I was sad for three or four days. My house was very quiet and my DS was just taking the run of things LOL. Yet still I miss them.

[fek&fuzz]

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I used to get anxious when his daughter arrived, and be relieved when she left. And I felt bad about it. I remember the first time I was actually excited when she was coming, and then I got so sad when she left.

to all those saying goodbye.

[Teenytoona]

Ugh, I know how hard it is too. DSD-6 and DSS-8 leave Monday. I think it will break DD's heart. I hate that they must leave. I worry for them.

[aricha]

Originally Posted by ma_vie_en_rose

I think hearing DD1 talk about how much she misses having her big sister here everyday is what tears me apart. We have her EOW, too. I can't imagine how hard the long distance custody is.

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

Ugh, I know how hard it is too. DSD-6 and DSS-8 leave Monday. I think it will break DD's heart. I hate that they must leave. I worry for them.

My son (now 3 1/2) had a really hard time with it last school year, especially with my husband being gone so much (one long weekend a month plus two additional weeks) to visit her. We are actually looking for a play therapist for him for this year to give him a place to process it and to help us better help him (and his little sister when she is old enough to be aware of it). Even though my husband and I are happily married and co-habitating, in a lot of ways my son goes through the same things that any child of divorce would go through... It breaks my heart when he cries for his big sister and I really have to struggle to remember the big-picture benefits for all the kids that come with this arrangement that drove our decision to put us all through this.

Thanks for the kindness and support.

[jjawm]

I'm sorry for all the mamas who have to loose their stepkids during the schoolyear. I can't even imagine how hard that must be. My daughter cries when her brothers leave for the weekend, I can't imagine what it would be like if they were gone longer.