Feeling like crap after DS's first day at school

[CorbinsMama]

DS, newly 9 years old on Monday :, just had his first day of public school after having been at a Montessori school for 3 years and then homeschooled for the past year. School went well, his teacher seems great, but the bus ride was another story. I always hated the bus and felt like it was a lawless place where kids could mete out any punishment to whomever they thought deserved to be picked on that day.

Well, on the way home from school, DS got bullied by some older kids (4th, 5th, and 6th graders, I assume) who wouldn't let him sit with/near them. DS's immediate reaction to injustice is to cry and to do so loudly. The bus driver intervened, but now I'm afraid that their ability to make him cry will be their prime entertainment.

I told DS that they have probably been riding the bus together for years and while it doesn't make it right, they probably feel like they own the bus. MIL commented, "Well, you know there is a pecking order..." I know there is, but that doesn't make it right! I also told DS that sometimes bullies are bullies because they are bullied at home and then they take it out on other people, so we really ought to feel sorry for them.

But, you know what? I want to find those kids and wring their little necks. I am just irate about it and I think I'm probably blowing things all our of proportion, but I never felt like my parents stood up for me as a kid and I never want my child to feel that way. I want to tell them that they are in elementary school and they need to get a grip! There's anecdote about Maya Angelou dealing with her son's bullies that I wish I could remember right now....

I was afraid of sending DS to PS because he is a very kindhearted, sensitive soul with a wacky sense of humor. I was afraid that would make him a target -- and now I feel like it's coming to pass.

DS doesn't seem to be dwelling on it, which is great. I wrote a note to the teacher alerting him to what happened just so he can keep an eye out. I don't know what else I can do. I'm sooooo glad that DS isn't focused on it, but I feel like I need to be talked down off the ledge.

[kewb]

I'm with you on hating the bus but I think you may be making a mountain out of a mole hill. You have supported your son and given him some strategies and now you have to wait and see before taking the next step.

[pranamama]

If you feel so strongly about it, you may want to just provide the transportation yourself. I wouldn't call older children not letting a younger child sit with them bullying, but maybe I am missing something here.

[CorbinsMama]

If it was enough to break him down into tears, I call it bullying.

Of course if it keeps up I will drive him myself, but since it was the first day, I'm willing to give it a chance. He wasn't at all apprehensive about getting on this morning, so if he is okay with it that's what matters.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by pranamama

If you feel so strongly about it, you may want to just provide the transportation yourself.

I agree. But then again, my kids are most important to me and if they cried over something like this I'd be very upset and would never put them on the bus again. But I realize that isn't an option for everyone.

The bus is the worst place for bullying, even worse than at school, because the children are all ages on the bus whereas in the classroom they are with their own age groups. I've heard this from numerous people over the years. I remember it myself as a kid. I had the hardest time with boys bullying me and my friends because we weren't "cool" (I'm a girl).

[CorbinsMama]

Well, everything went fine yesterday and DS told me that the rows are even marked now to keep the grades in separate seats.

[kwg]

: I am so glad it worked out! What a good solution!

[nextcommercial]

I hate the bus too. It's really a lousy way to spend 30 minutes.

My dd has always done well in public school, but when we moved and she had to take the bus, it nearly killed me.

The first day at a new school is SOOO hard too. I worried that she wouldn't make any friends, I worried that she wouldn't have anybody to sit next to at lunch. It was truly a bad day for me. She, however was fine.

[Kiddoson]

this exactly why when DD goes to school it won't be on the bus.

[Labbemama]

How about a bus aide for that bus? I think some assigned seats are in order.
We have video camera's on our buses now as standard procedure because kids were doing about everything you can think of on the bus.
So sorry your child had such a rough ride home on the first day.

[CorbinsMama]

Thanks again everyone! DS is doing just fine now. Everyone knows where to sit since the sections are marked, and he has a friend from class to sit with too.