How to I approach this?

[cycle]

There was an incident this week, the orientation week, at ds's new Montessori School and I know I need to address it with the administration but I am not sure how I should. Since I work ds is in extended care. I picked him up on the second day and the kids were outside in the playground with one of the teaching assistants. She was pleasant with me and ds but as we were walking away I heard her talk in a very nasty and loud voice. I turned around and saw that she had two boys, 4 or 5 years old, by their arms and was yelling at them for screaming while running around. It has bothered me since and I know I have to say something I just have been trying to figure out if/when I should. I found out today that she is the assistant to ds's assigned teacher. I would have said something any way but it is bothering me even more since I found that out.

FTR, I don't have a problem with her correcting them for screaming, it was the way she did it. She was VERY HARSH and I did not think it was appropriate the way she grabbed them by the arm. She is new to the school, started in 2008, everyone else has been there a very long time.

I need advice on how to handle this because I know I need to say something. Please help!

[KBecks]

Say something right away. I would probably mention it to the lead teacher in the classroom that your child attends.

I think it's OK to take a child by the arm if it's done gently, and it's OK to correct a child if it's done gently, but it sounds like this was harsh.

I'd express to the lead teacher what you saw and I'd say something along the lines of teachers being role models for grace and courtesy, and kids need to be treated with love and gentleness and then ask the lead teacher to follow up with the new assistant. I'd also ask the lead teacher what the discipline policy is and what she would have done in the situation or what the school recommends teachers do.

And I still don't understand what is wrong with screaming on the PLAYGROUND. It's a place to yell and run and play. I really hope we don't run into the same concerns.

Good luck!

[nkm1968]

I would definitely say something to the director/directress in your son's class, and consider talking with the head of the school too. DD2 attended a wonderful Montessori preschool and was also in the before-and-after care program. Ours had a Montessori directress and a Montessori trained assistent, and I think that is very important. If the after care program is staffed only with assistants, they don't have enough training or experience to really manage the environment or help the children enough. However, this is just based on my experience in 2 different Montessori schools with 2 different children.

If you can at least open the dialogue with the school director, it will at least drive home the point that the entire day needs to be as wonderful as the 3 hour morning work cycle. One thing that changed at DD2's Montessori school, after a lot of regular families in the aftercare program talked with the school administrator, was that now there is an All Day Community classroom, where children are with their directress and assistant for the entire day, which has been so incredible for the kids as well as the teachers, to have that consistency of caretakers/environment/peers/approach to "discipline". Just my own observation/experience though, not fact.

[cycle]

Thanks. I am going to talk with the Director of the school. It is especially troubling to me because she is the assistant in my son's classroom. I think she is just inexperienced and maybe just needs a little more guidance on the way things should be handled.

[wrzos]

Definitely speak to the director. At our school, a discussion with the lead teacher wouldn't have the same impact/effect as going directly to the director - so that is where I'd go. This in essence is what happened last fall with my son's first class assistant. I didn't call, but other parents did. She didn't last more than 2 weeks before they found a lovely M trained woman to replace her.

[MattBronsil]

Definitely talk to the director. The first step for them will likely be to address this with the assistant. From your end, try to avoid turning it into a spitting contest and approach it like the teacher needs more guidance. Keep on eye on things and go from there.

Matt

[cycle]

Originally Posted by MattBronsil

Definitely talk to the director. The first step for them will likely be to address this with the assistant. From your end, try to avoid turning it into a spitting contest and approach it like the teacher needs more guidance. Keep on eye on things and go from there.

Matt

I talked to the Director on Friday and she was very receptive and let me know that she appreciated that I said something. She said they would address it. Luckily since it was orientation last week I had not been formally introduced to ds's teacher and he doesn't start actual class until tomorrow. It saved me from having to decide between whether to go to the teacher or director. Thanks everyone for all of the advice!

[MattBronsil]

I hope things work out well. Glad to hear the admin was glad to hear about your story that you were not so glad to see. Or...something like that.