No more sugar coating...

[snangel]

Has anyone else just had enough. I am done trying to be nice and polite. I am done sugar coating the truth. On another message board I finally said the truth and I really don't care whose feelings I hurt anymore. I wasn't nasty or anything, just stated facts with no sugar coating, i am sure I will get into trouble, but really I don't care. if some crazy lady is going to post about how she had her 3 month old circ'ed and it hurt him, so therefor people should do it earlier takes offense to what is the reality of the situation then whatever. Oh sometimes I wish I could rip through the screen and strangle people for being so blind.

[LavenderMae]

I hear ya!

[tlh]

Yes it hurts at any age and shouldn't be done without the permission of the person it is happening to.Even if it didn't hurt it doesn't mean it should be done without consent.People just don't think.

[Contrariety]

I'm steadily losing my filter where circ is concerned. I'm lettin' it all out!

[snangel]

How can people be so dumb???????? This is her reaction to my post....she circ'ed her 3 month old son. People are lining up?????You HAVE to be kidding me! Where the heck do i live again??????????????????

My son is completely fine and happy today...the day after his circ...as for my dr...he should have said he dissagreed if he did...which he never said...just referred me to the doc in town thet does it...but suggested we wait because he was under weight at the time...waiting was wrong but our dr never gave us any reason to think it was a bad idea...it seems like there are these stats that say that almost no one has it done in canada anymore but all the mothers groups i have been to in my town and all the people i know have had it done...and the clinic where we had it done is booked solid everyday for their services...and they used excellent pain relief methods, four in total in succession

[lirpasirhc]

i've posted on that board in several of the circ threads, including earlier in the thread you quoted. i don't think i can do it anymore. i'm sick at heart. i think i need a break.

[perspective]

Sometimes I have an urge (but never do of course) to jump on one of those theads where everyone is talking so casually, and happy, about circumcision and say
"I know, my daughter's circumcision went great, much easier then my son's. They just made one slice to remove the clitoral hood, and she did not cry one bit! This really was the best choice for our family."

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by perspective

Sometimes I have an urge (but never do of course) to jump on one of those theads where everyone is talking so casually, and happy, about circumcision and say
"I know, my daughter's circumcision went great, much easier then my son's. They just made one slice to remove the clitoral hood, and she did not cry one bit! This really was the best choice for our family."

I might have to try that if I ever get my stomach back for mainstream boards. I've been avoiding them like the plague since they just end up making me sick to my stomach and keeping me awake all night.

[lirpasirhc]

Originally Posted by perspective

Sometimes I have an urge (but never do of course) to jump on one of those theads where everyone is talking so casually, and happy, about circumcision and say
"I know, my daughter's circumcision went great, much easier then my son's. They just made one slice to remove the clitoral hood, and she did not cry one bit! This really was the best choice for our family."

wow! that really sums it up succinctly.

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

I might have to try that if I ever get my stomach back for mainstream boards. I've been avoiding them like the plague since they just end up making me sick to my stomach and keeping me awake all night.

the thing is, the board being discussed, although less crunchy than MDC, isn't what i would call "mainstream." i think that's why i get so discouraged over there. i wouldn't be surprised about callousness to circ on yahoo or babycenter or something, but i am surprised on this other board.

but there are lots of ppl over there posting good circ info, so maybe it'll change some minds.

i think i'm sensitive right now b/c 2 of my friends had boys this week, and i'm avoiding talking to them b/c i don't want to know what they decided. i will not be able to handle it if they say something about the circ "going well."

[HappyHomeBirther]

Originally Posted by snangel

Has anyone else just had enough.

YES!!!

My SIL had her son circed, even though she knows all the facts, her mom is a midwife, all 3 of her brothers are intact, AND she flat out told me while pregnant that she didn't want to do it! But since her hubby is circed and wanted it done, she allowed it, claims it didn't hurt him, it went great, thinks there's nothing wrong with parents deciding to have it done, etc, etc, etc. I lost ALL respect for her. And me and her used to be really good friends; I just can't get over someone thinking that it's okay to do that to their baby At first I just didn't say anything at all, but now Im so sick of seeing her blogs, etc, about it that Im very vocal myself about the true facts and how sick it makes me feel. I don't care anymore..

[snangel]

Originally Posted by lirpasirhc

the thing is, the board being discussed, although less crunchy than MDC, isn't what i would call "mainstream." i think that's why i get so discouraged over there. i wouldn't be surprised about callousness to circ on yahoo or babycenter or something, but i am surprised on this other board.
but there are lots of ppl over there posting good circ info, so maybe it'll change some minds.

I know this board isn't a lost cause, I know of 3 babies I helped save in the last few weeks there, one that had his appointment for the next day. That is why I haven't given up, I am just done trying to please people, and withholding the entire truth because I am afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I just don't care anymore. Your son's penis and integrity is more important then your feelings.

[lirpasirhc]

Originally Posted by snangel

I know this board isn't a lost cause, I know of 3 babies I helped save in the last few weeks there, one that had his appointment for the next day. That is why I haven't given up.

nak. thanks for posting that! it's encouraging. i agree that the said chat board isn't a lost cause.

[buckeyedoc]

I used to post ALL THE TIME on the circ debate board on BC for over a year. Some minds and eyes were opened, so I felt it was worth it. However, I eventually couldn't take the sickening pro-circ posts (especially, the "Well, we had it done and it was totally no big deal so you anti-circs can shut it" posts) and had to stop for my own psychological well-being. I don't know if I can ever go back. It infuriated me. There is just no excuse, and if I hear "parental choice" one more time, my head will literally explode.

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by snangel

I know this board isn't a lost cause, I know of 3 babies I helped save in the last few weeks there, one that had his appointment for the next day. That is why I haven't given up, I am just done trying to please people, and withholding the entire truth because I am afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I just don't care anymore. Your son's penis and integrity is more important then your feelings.

I just wanted to point out that had I been treated differently when I first found the debate I may have felt differently. I think I know which board you refer to,and I lurked there and was on another somewhat similar board. Would the ones that you reached have been reached if the discussion had come across differently? Was the tone right for them? If you change your tone are you going to be as effective?

I have been in discussions where things have gone REAlLY well and someone on the pro-intact side has come and really been harsh- just being truthful, realistic, and certainly not sugarcoating, but it has had the effect of shuttng down the poster a bit, closing them off.

Sometimes this issue is so challenging people need babysteps and a bit of cushion to 'get it'. You can find a way to be truthful and honest, straightfoward w/o being overly harsh... when you start to feel as you do you might want to take a break and figure out what strategy you want to use to reach people.

On the few occasions I've flown off the handle and in anger said exactly what I wanted to w/o holding back, I realized that I had really needed a bit of a break and to take a step back. I'm not saying this is what you are suggesting, but I know when I've been frustrated its so easy to do.

I do not mean to say that the 'no more sugar coating' approach is not the way to go, it sure might be, and it might work for you... just suggesting letting the dust settle a bit, take a breath and figure out how you want to post.

Good luck, those boards are always a HUGE challenge and strain/drain. It hurts so much to try to reach other mothers before it is too late, to invest in the hope. And then to have people who just don't listen or want to believe come in and minimize everything. It just hurts sometimes.

It really helps me to know that whatever the outcome, I'm ALWAYS planting a seed... if it didn't take root in that instance I'm always hopeful that it takes either later wth that parent or with a lurker- or even just givng another person on the same side a reason to stick with it and keep educating.

Good luck....

Jessica

[jserral]

From the title, I first though it would be something like, no more sugar covered pacifiers during circ! :P

Although sometimes I feel the same way, I know people would just shutdown. Fighting away or neutralizing each argument they list can be nerve racking and time consuming, but in the end it is worth it. You are trying to change an opinion about something they have felt comfortable with and will affect the future of their baby.... by going too harsh it makes it look like you are attacking them and they will want to go to another source for help... which could turn out bad.

[UberMama]

No matter how gentle I am when I explain why we do not circ and why it is NOT necessary, people just shut me out. It's like they suddenly look at me (or my posts) as if I have two heads or something.

I mean, I am the odd one on another forum because I am one of few that doesn't vax, circ, etc. and I explain why - and the ones who do vax and circ treat me differently (I really feel it's due to me stating my opinions on both subjects). :/

[Eben'sMama]

I have always been pretty blunt about my beliefs in general, but circ is one area where I feel I just *cannot* censor myself at all. If people don't like it, tough. My words can't hurt them nearly as much as their decision might hurt their baby son!