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Question for the board! - Page 2

Poll Results: Moving to SN

Poll expired: Sep 8, 2008  
  • 19% (12)
    Yes
  • 62% (39)
    No
  • 6% (4)
    I don't care
  • 11% (7)
    Other (there always has to be an other)
62 Total Votes  
post #21 of 34
Mamas, could we please tread lightly here? Some of the comments may be hurtful to our special needs parents.

Also, questions about the board organization need to go to Q and S, not in this thread.

Thanks!
post #22 of 34
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
I wonder if yogafeet meant put it in the "family life" heading, under which "parenting multiples" lives, so NICU/Preemie would be an equivalent title in the same area. I debated that suggestion, too.

And I never considered my kids "special needs" when they were in the NICU. They had special medical requirements, but that is not the same as the popular definition of "special needs" or the purpose of that forum.
Special medical requirements is one of the purposes of that forum.

I am not sure what you think SN is.

There also used to be a thread in SN that later became the Gifted forum.

Does everyone understand the SN forum is simply for kids who have special emotional/medical or other needs?

My child was a FT baby in NICU and he has a wide variety of different needs.

He might have more attachment issues due to being in a hospital warmer rather than in my arms nursing him all the time, he has a team of specialists, he had an Echo cardiogram before any of his *Grandparents* even had one.

The only reason I was seeing how it might trigger anxiety is that it might be overwhelming, not because I don't think it is fitting.
post #23 of 34
I think that's a reasonable move.
post #24 of 34
I think as a subforum of SNs it makes complete sense since SNs doesn't imply any time line of those SNs. Some SNs are short term, some long term, some lifelong. But being a NICU parent is certainly different than having a FT baby with no need to visit a NICU so its "special" in that sense. Its not an age and stage that all children pass through.
post #25 of 34
For now, my nicu micro preemie is 2 1/2 and doing well but has speech therapy.

But when she was born, there was no place in special needs but I can see how this fits in it. When you bring a nicu grad home, there are special needs for this baby. Some are higher needs than others. If anything, I am glad its here for the new preemie parents because I remember I felt I needed a place like this just like the special needs forum needs to be there for any family dealing with special needs.

ETA- I checked "I dont care" meaning I just want the board up and running, not that I dont care if that makes any sense.
post #26 of 34
My earlier comments didn't read as well as I intended them, and I hope they didn't cause offense to anyone. The point I wanted to get across is I've always understood special needs to be ongoing medical or emotional needs, not temporary ones. For most NICU patients, the serious medical requirements are temporary. If one of my children, right now at 2.5 years old, got sick and was in the hospital for 9 weeks (the same length as their NICU stay) but was not going to require ongoing treatment, it wouldn't occur to me to look on the special needs board.

Of course, the more I think about it, prematurity is such a gray area. My kids did need a lot of follow-up and monitoring post-NICU, and one of them was on O2 for a few more months, but because I was always assured that this was temporary, it never occurred to me to consider that special needs. Maybe it should have.

The more the conversation goes on, the less I really care, though, about where the board goes as long as it is visible from the main forum list. But I do continue to wonder why NICU/Preemie has to be subforum of anything, rather than just another forum. I realize that is a question about board organization, which, as annettemarie pointed out, belongs in Q&S, so if you want me to delete that, I don't mind doing so, but it seems like then maybe we should just move this whole thread, since that's the whole point of it.
post #27 of 34
Does it have to be a subforum?

I don't know if it belongs under SN. My child clearly has special needs with oxygen; a feeding tube; speech, occupational, and physical therapy and multiple doctor's appointments yet I always felt 'intrusive' by naming him special needs, if that makes any sense. In other words, a mother who has a child with a significant amount of adaptive equipment might take offense at me naming my largely normal child special needs because most of his 'special' needs will go away at some point in the future. Does that make sense?
post #28 of 34
I voted "other" for "Ages and Stages" as its own subforum there, right "before" LWAB. Preemies ARE technically babies, but they're Very Early babies and discussing your preemie baby is a little different than discussing your 6 month old.
post #29 of 34
When I was a new NICU mom, I would not have thought to look for this forum in SN. I think being a preemie is certainly an "age and stage", as these babies have their own specific milestones, specific shared characteristics, etc.

Please give this group as much visibility as possible.

Thanks!
post #30 of 34
I would like for it to not be a sub-forum of a sub-forum. So whether it's under Ages and Stages (and not buried under LWAB, please), or as a part of Birth and Beyond (you're pregnant and hanging out with your DDC, and all of a sudden you've got a baby that isn't in your arms yet), or Special Needs (because certainly taking care of a preemie requires special considerations that last beyond the NICU), it doesn't matter to me where you slot it, as long as it's accessible from the top page.
post #31 of 34
as a former nicu mama now SN mama, I just don't think it fits. can't explain it exactly, but it feels wrong. I think it would've freaked me out a little while DD was in the nicu before I knew she was a SN kiddo.

sort of OT-
Quote:
If one of my children, right now at 2.5 years old, got sick and was in the hospital for 9 weeks (the same length as their NICU stay) but was not going to require ongoing treatment, it wouldn't occur to me to look on the special needs board.
Quote:
in other words, a mother who has a child with a significant amount of adaptive equipment might take offense at me naming my largely normal child special needs because most of his 'special' needs will go away at some point in the future.
it's too bad, and I'm not picking on either of you, but I often see threads in TAO or Toddlers with questions about a child going in for surgery or wondering if they need therapy and I always think, post in the SN forum!!! because there are SO many knowledgeable parents there who have seen it all and can give the best advice. a child does NOT have to have permanent disability to "qualify" for the SN forum- basically ANY degree of delay, medical care, or issues requiring therapy are totally appropriate for the SN forum. Whether it's transient or not- it doesn't have to be a permanent condition or lifelong diagnosis, at all.

post #32 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah1972 View Post
In other words, a mother who has a child with a significant amount of adaptive equipment might take offense at me naming my largely normal child special needs because most of his 'special' needs will go away at some point in the future. Does that make sense?

SN Parenting has been my home here at MDC, and I have never seen anyone take umbrage for someone using the term SN. If you feel your child has extra needs, then you are welcome there.
post #33 of 34
This has been a really interesting discussion, and I am glad I learned a little more about the SN board through it. Now I'm wondering if any sort of action is going to come out of this? It's really frustrating to have this board remain buried the way it is.
post #34 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony96 View Post
I voted "other" for "Ages and Stages" as its own subforum there, right "before" LWAB. Preemies ARE technically babies, but they're Very Early babies and discussing your preemie baby is a little different than discussing your 6 month old.
I voted other too. I absolutely agree that if it is not visible moms are not going to be able to find it when they need it the most. I have visited before and knew it was here but still had a hard time locating it now, I thought it might have been eliminated.
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