Is public kindy supposed to be oppressive???

[Dolphin]

Or maybe I just see it that way, but I'm not happy so far. DS started kindy last Tuesday, and he was super excited until he got a yellow (discussed in another thread too) for nudging back at a boy who shoved him after knocking over his blocks (and he is not an aggresive kid at all - usually lets kids walk all over him). Anyway, besides the fact that I hate their reward systems and feel it's going to have negative effects on my ds, it seems to be so oppressive. Like they want to squash their little spirits so they can then program them to pass all the tests or something. When they go from class to class, they all line up with one hand on the kid in front of them, and the other hand over their mouths so they'll be quiet??? And ds was singing a song he had learned that had the lyrics "mouths should be closed". Ok, I realize that there are a lot of kids at the school and they want to keep things quieter, and I should be glad that it's not a zoo in there, but I mean really - is this even healthy??? I want him to learn and have fun and be creative, not learn that his mouth has to stay closed. But I have a tendency to be overprotective and defensive about him. Is this hand on the mouth when walking thing normal??

I should add that after 3 days of that, and after having been so excited about going to school (because he had a great fun preschool and thought school was great), he now dreads it and says he doesn't want to go every day. Great.

[Porcelain Interior]

It's normal. I don't have an issue with it, because at our school little ones have a really hard time remembering when walking the halls not to jibber jabber and they get excited so easily the noise disturbs other students.

I think the hand on the mouth is just a physical reminder to be quiet in the halls. I don't think it's oppressive- we all have to be considerate of other people and schools are filled with other people.

In my dd's school they do a finger over the mouth in kindergarten sort of a "shh" sign. It's the teachers way of communicating sort of in sign language with the students, using hand signals instead of vocal cues.

They didn't use it all the time, after the first few weeks it only popped up when kids would forget and have a little vocal outburst, and then the quiet reminder went up.

My youngest dd isn't spirited as far as people here use the term, but she is very verbal, very imaginative and very much taken where the wind blows her mind- for her learning to concentrate, and settle down was good not bad. She's still just as nutty/imaginitive here at home.

I was also worried about the silly rewards systems, at our school they use candy and she'd come home sad sometimes being the ONLY child who didn't get one because like your son she was still singing a song they'd learned.

A lot of this just comes with public school territory. I will rip her out at the first sign that her spirit is getting trampled or damaged. She's in 1st this year.

It's hard, it really is. I wish I could just keep them home, but the LOVE school.

[Theia]

Originally Posted by Dolphin

Or maybe I just see it that way, but I'm not happy so far. DS started kindy last Tuesday, and he was super excited until he got a yellow (discussed in another thread too) for nudging back at a boy who shoved him after knocking over his blocks (and he is not an aggresive kid at all - usually lets kids walk all over him). Anyway, besides the fact that I hate their reward systems and feel it's going to have negative effects on my ds, it seems to be so oppressive. Like they want to squash their little spirits so they can then program them to pass all the tests or something. When they go from class to class, they all line up with one hand on the kid in front of them, and the other hand over their mouths so they'll be quiet??? And ds was singing a song he had learned that had the lyrics "mouths should be closed". Ok, I realize that there are a lot of kids at the school and they want to keep things quieter, and I should be glad that it's not a zoo in there, but I mean really - is this even healthy??? I want him to learn and have fun and be creative, not learn that his mouth has to stay closed. But I have a tendency to be overprotective and defensive about him. Is this hand on the mouth when walking thing normal??

I should add that after 3 days of that, and after having been so excited about going to school (because he had a great fun preschool and thought school was great), he now dreads it and says he doesn't want to go every day. Great.

Read your own post as though you aren't the OP. I think your instincts are telling you something. Not all classes and all teachers are of the same quality. FWIW, my Mom used to hate sending us kids to kindergarten. She said at the end of the first week she had completely different children, that we had lost some of our spark. That was 30+ years ago, and I imagine that things can't be any better now for variety of reasons.

[lovbeingamommy]

What you're experiencing is common in Kindergarten. I've been teaching for almost 20 yrs. and this is just the way things are done for a variety of reasons - some good, some not so good.

Most teachers in ps are required to have some sort of discipline system. The card system is really popular and works well to help children modify their behavior if need be. It's tough having 18+ 5 yr. olds in a classroom all together w/o having some sort of rules and regulations going on. Most of the time, at least in my state of AZ, K teachers don't have assistants or helpers in their classroom. Keeping order is important for learning all that is required this first yr.

[mata]

Face it-with 20 or more children and one teacher, it's crowd control. I volunteer in my youngest's K class where they do 3 centers with groups of 6-8-it's a herd 'em in, herd 'em out mentality. I do not like it one bit! In our school it improves in first grade. My oldest had a stressful K year because of all the chaos, and I am so tempted to not send my youngest!

[Aeress]

There are alternative discipline methods but 1)they aren't taught in college ymmv 2)and they require more work. I know of one kindy teacher who doesn't use the card/color system and his class isn't out of control. If you are familiar with Alfie Kohn, you could try to recommend his work to the teacher/principal.