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September Dating Thread!!! - Page 4

post #61 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Clementine~ View Post
*hug to Emma*
May I suggest getting a vibrator? Suddenly, I'm feel pretty dang fine being single.
Good suggestion; I've got a really good relationship with my battery-operated-boyfriend (BOB).

I'm feeling better today...thanks for all the hugs, ya'all!
post #62 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by emma_goldman View Post
Good suggestion; I've got a really good relationship with my battery-operated-boyfriend (BOB).

I'm feeling better today...thanks for all the hugs, ya'all!
I need to get one. I have one, but my stbx bought it and it's ridiculous and huge. He bought it for his fantasy, not my pleasure.

Someone pm me a link on where to get one? Somewhere for women?
post #63 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimim View Post
I need to get one. I have one, but my stbx bought it and it's ridiculous and huge. He bought it for his fantasy, not my pleasure.

Someone pm me a link on where to get one? Somewhere for women?
www.goodvibes.com
post #64 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon View Post
Thanks. I'll check it out.
post #65 of 138
Thread Starter 
OMG, you women are on my wavelength! I just broke up with someone and am facing untold years of solo sex in a small town, so I am also trying to figure out how to deal with that. A friend recommended Good Vibes so I will check it out tonight (when I leave my classroom).
post #66 of 138
I'm a fan of babeland.com. Toys for every budget and lots of "how to" articles.

I came on here to boo-hoo at you all. I just broke up with my first boyfriend since the end of my marriage 3 years ago and it hurts way more than I expected it too. I'm having a hard time functioning. Is this normal? Are post-marriage breakups harder, in general?
post #67 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutmama View Post
it hurts way more than I expected it too. I'm having a hard time functioning. Is this normal? Are post-marriage breakups harder, in general?
I know I'm surprised at myself...
post #68 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutmama View Post
Are post-marriage breakups harder, in general?
I think post-marriage breakups, especially when it is your first relationship post-marriage, are harder because of the expectations you go into that first relationship with are oftentimes unrealistic.
post #69 of 138
Quote:
the expectations you go into that first relationship with are oftentimes unrealistic
this is spot on. oof. I shouldn't have come back, now I'm going to cry again,
post #70 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutmama View Post
this is spot on. oof. I shouldn't have come back, now I'm going to cry again,


Hang in there. It does get easier and with each relationship you will grow and find what you need.
post #71 of 138
for the sad mamas


I found something at goodvibes. I was feeling optimistic, so I got an assortment of condoms, too

Last night I spent three hours on the phone with a guy that seems perfect. When I checked my email this morning, I discovered that he'd sent me a message right after we'd hung up the phone. He is sooo sweet and interesting. We are going to meet up this week AND we have a date for the weekend already. I got my hands on some free tickets to a world class theater. When I was talking to him, I realized that he would really love this play, so I asked him if he wanted to go. I don't even care if it's not there physically with him. I know I can be friends with him if it doesn't work out in that way.
post #72 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimim View Post
I need to get one. I have one, but my stbx bought it and it's ridiculous and huge. He bought it for his fantasy, not my pleasure.

Someone pm me a link on where to get one? Somewhere for women?
I can really recommend www.lelo.com Doesn't get any better than that. Rechargeable and no need to worry about nasty chemicals.
post #73 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanishMom View Post
I can really recommend www.lelo.com Doesn't get any better than that. Rechargeable and no need to worry about nasty chemicals.

have ya'll seen the solar powered vibe? :
http://www.solarpowerrocks.com/solar...ered-vibrator/
post #74 of 138
Quote:
have ya'll seen the solar powered vibe?
That's so rad. My first thought, though, was of course that you have to leave it out in the sun... but I guess the cell phone design makes that a little easier. The neighbors aren't likely to look twice.
post #75 of 138
Hi There ,
Have some questions I been a single mom since feb 2005 and I'm ready to date someone -I'm a sahm so I don't work so no co-workers to liken too, I found my ex online in a chatroom I joined online dating things most of them were smokers -yuck or too old that email me and i'm like no no !

When I'm with my boy I can take him to the drop off daycare once in awhile but not all the time but some gals in our apartment area who have their kids babysitting it's like yikes the price is too much while the drop off is cheaper so here I could go date a guy when my mom has my son overnite or just for the evening but I never know the way my mom schedule works kwim ?

I did have a break yesterday and last nite and I'm like boy I could be dating right now but am not !

But the best possiblity for me to even be dating is when my mom had my son overnite otherwise i could only be gone for 2 hrs tops that's only time for a dinner out - no movies you know ?
post #76 of 138
I've stayed away from this thread because it was too frustrating for me to even think about dating after all my recent craziness. But now I have a happy reason to post. yay!

this is really long, but I just couldn't cut anymore of it out. Sorry!

There's this guy, J who is really hip and smart and funny. Not to mention very cute. He's a really close friend to some of my really close friends but we'd just started hanging out recently. He's actually been a really fantastic friend. We've talked a lot of dating and I've asked him some really specific advice about certain guys and such, and he'd been really helpful. He was there when I got snubbed my mr. relationships and his midlife crisis and I got a little bit drunk and belligerent. In fact, it was his idea to encourage me out of the bar before I made a complete fool of myself and got too friendly with mr. trouble. What a nice guy, ya know? I'd actually considered dating him for the briefest of moments but when talking with my bff (who's a good friend of his) about it we decided that it might be weird and that it wasn't worth the risk because he just doesn't really date. So, I was just happy to have him as a friend, after all, we have a lot in common, are pretty similar and get along great.

Two weeks ago I wanted to take my sister out dancing for her 18th birthday. The problem was, it was a few days before her birthday so they wouldn't let her into the club. We were so bummed. So, I suggested we just go to my bff's house around the corner and hang out instead. I just had to stop next door at mr. trouble's bar for some take out beers (with high hopes that if anything I'd be getting my good beers on the cheap). On my way in I ran into one of J's friends who made a strange comment about him being in there. I just laughed, because I wasn't entirely sure what he meant, and shrugged it off. So I go in there and see him and tell him my story about not getting into the place and how we're going to go have a "porch party". I invited everybody there, but for some strange reason only he wanted to come. Looking back, I think I should have known then.

My point with all this ridiculous back story is coming up, I assure you! So, because I didn't get to go dancing I asked him if he'd go with me the following week, and surprisingly he agreed. Apparently I kept asking him if we were still on, but I wasn't sure if it was one of those "yeah let's do that sometime" kind of things that never really happens, or if it was making plans.

So, we went dancing last week, even after coming home late from camping having barely slept and being completely exhausted. I was really looking forward to it. I love dancing. We had a great time. The best part was that it was so loud on the dance floor that you had to get pretty close and yell at each other to talk, so every time I wanted to say something I got to lean on him and he'd put his hand on my waist. Heaven, right there. At this point I realized not only do I like him, but I really like him. oh my!

OK, so this is the best part:
On friday we hung out with our friends at their house and had loads of fun, but somehow everyone got totally hammered. Pretty late into the night J and I found ourselves alone in the kitchen and he got all serious suddenly and said that he'd had a great time on sunday and asked if he could take me out for real sometime, on an "official" date. Though I couldn't see myself, I'm pretty sure we were both blushing copiously. Then somebody walked in.

The rest of the night was blissful. He kept holding my hand and steeling glances at me, which eventually evolved into snuggling on the couch with his arm around me watching the best parts of Wes Anderson films. It'd already been agree that no one should drive home after drinking so much, so we stayed on the tiny couch together all night, like a couple of teenagers. I loved it.

The next night we went on our date and it was so comfortable and fun and perfect. After dinner we went back to our friends' house where people were playing board games - I mean, how can you resist that? It went much like the previous night, except that no one got hammered, per se, and when it got late we we stole the house guest's bed and talked and kissed and cuddled till the sun came up. He confessed to having had a "huge crush" on me for a long time. I got pretty embarrassed by that, mostly thinking of how open I was with him about my dating/sex life. sheesh. Also that he'd confided in his guy friends how he felt, so that explains the weird comment from his friend.

It was the greatest kind of adorable nerdy perfection; I just want to relive that night and morning over and over again. :
post #77 of 138
oh yeah, and Smitten Kitten is a great feminist run store with only safe toys, I highly recommend (along with the aforementioned babeland).
post #78 of 138
Thread Starter 
Hello,

Well, I'm the OP for this thread. I did it yesterday -- broke up with the nice but not-for-me boyfriend of 17 months. And while the last 2 weeks without him (I asked for some space) have been great, and it's been so nice to feel like ME again, and spend time with friends, yesterday was horrible and I feel so sad. There were even a few melodramatic mortifying moments (an on-his-knees proposal in the parking lot of Safeway after I had broken up with him, and left to go grocery shopping!). So I am in post-break up mode and wishing it COULD work, but knowing it can't.

I will go back later and reread everyone's exciting posts about new loves and sex toys! Thanks again for your support.
post #79 of 138
EvolvingMama.
That sounds rough. Be good to yourself.
post #80 of 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
I think post-marriage breakups, especially when it is your first relationship post-marriage, are harder because of the expectations you go into that first relationship with are oftentimes unrealistic.
Could you elaborate on this, Holland73? I'm wondering if this is part of why things went so wrong with my guy...

Also, Mamas, are you seeing that you have to play a game at not seeming interested? It seems like I was completely honest with my interest in my guy and then he LOST interest as soon as I expressed mine...Anyone have experience with this?

Also, I was super excited about the relationship and didn't realize that he wasn't so much. Does this have something to do with boundaries? I was ready to jump in and was SO excited because we seemed so perfect for each other...

I have so much to learn!
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