September is here, PDX Mamas! - Page 81

[spottiew]

Happy birthday Lily- sorry we most likely won't make the party. Happy birthday Sara in advance. Remmeber, that mine is a day befor eyours.

Anyway, without going into a big long story, what would you make of/do about a child who has been angry/sad since mid-summer? We thought it was maybe the school construction, but that is over now. Now, it could be school transition cause it's a new year, but seems to be more intense than just school... he has lost the nap, and is just plain a wreck. All afternoon/evening is crying, hitting, stomping, more crying... no playing, no fun. Well very little. A nap could help, but this goes back before that... he's tired, but there's more to it. Sensitive to change, sure, but what else? I'm just getting worried, he's always been an unsettled little guy, but he is so lost right now, not enjoying anything, even on days off. He can't tell us what he needs

[karen1968]

Jill, is he three-and-a-half? I just saw a post on Ask Moxie about the tough time that is 3 1/2. A very bad time, apparently. Wish I had more answers than that.

[PGNPORTLAND]

Happy Birthday Lily!!!! :

[InochiZo]

Originally Posted by spottiew

Happy birthday Lily- sorry we most likely won't make the party. Happy birthday Sara in advance. Remmeber, that mine is a day befor eyours.

Anyway, without going into a big long story, what would you make of/do about a child who has been angry/sad since mid-summer? We thought it was maybe the school construction, but that is over now. Now, it could be school transition cause it's a new year, but seems to be more intense than just school... he has lost the nap, and is just plain a wreck. All afternoon/evening is crying, hitting, stomping, more crying... no playing, no fun. Well very little. A nap could help, but this goes back before that... he's tired, but there's more to it. Sensitive to change, sure, but what else? I'm just getting worried, he's always been an unsettled little guy, but he is so lost right now, not enjoying anything, even on days off. He can't tell us what he needs

Does he have a lot of limits?
Do you talk to him about plans for the day/give him plenty of time to change from one activity to the next?
Do you verbally redirect frequently?
I am only saying the above because I know these are things/areas that cause trouble with my guy.
If you tell him not to do something or physically redirect him he might get mad or just continue to do it.
For example, DH was doing a lot of the above for the last 2 days and DS behavior declined significantly. We went to the eye doctor in the evening and evenings are always the witching hour. He was playing and destroying plants in the parking strip. DH was redirecting while I had my eye appointment. We went to People's Farmer's mkt and again he started jumping in the bioswale areas. I decided he needed to go running and get some energy out because his energy was being directed in inappropriate ways. He loves to run so we ended up racing around the block. I did not do anymore physical or verbal redirection just started running down the street.

[jstar]

can you move bedtime earlier?

does he talk about the other kids at school? maybe he is having some social interactions that are bugging him or getting him down.

is he pooping regularly? isaac gets loud and obnoxious when he is bunged up we've had a long road of trying to get him to poop daily and it *really* affects his personality.



happy birthday lily!

[Hedy B.]

Earlier bedtime is making a WORLD of difference with Lily. A WORLD. It's only been two days, but she is so much happier now.

[Hedy B.]

Arrrgggh. The thing that I thought was a squash from the CSA was a melon. Damn. It. I was going to make pumpkin soup for dinner.

[Lovely]

Originally Posted by Hedy B.

Arrrgggh. The thing that I thought was a squash from the CSA was a melon. Damn. It. I was going to make pumpkin soup for dinner.

sorry, that totally made me laugh. Hope you figured out something else for dinner!

[chiromama]

Jill, I got nothing but . Some craniosacral might help

[aolinsmama]

you could make melon soup, Hedy...

today was such a good day, i finally found a trail-a-bike on craigslist for Salila, *and* she is making friends at school (i have been worried about her socially at school-of course attached to my own social anxieties i am sure!) one little girl was getting on the 4 bus with us today, and they sat on the bus together, it was very sweet, did this mama's heart good

stressing about schooling our kiddos, no matter what we choose, is such a big parenting issue. thinking about it, which you all are doing, is so important. i hope you give yourselves some props for that!

[DreamsInDigital]

We got internet again. Just a quick drive-by to say hi!

[karen1968]

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

We got internet again. Just a quick drive-by to say hi!

Hi Lydia! Glad to see you back.

[aniT]

Hey Lydia.

Sara hasn't been around since her big meeting today?

Oh and the water in my car smells funny and is rusty. Sigh. I don't have TIME to get my car repaired.

[DreamsInDigital]

Okay, I just have to say that homeschooling two is kinda hard. Just a little bit.

[kaPOW!]

Not until now.

Thanks for the good thoughts! Got the news this morning. She thinks that Nico has social delays. Not autism, and she thinks it can be worked on. There were no surprises, but I'd been hoping for a "what are you kidding me?!?!" type of response. She said that he didn't seem to be as engaged as much as they "would like to see" for his age. And that the repetition of tv, books, etc could be the easy route for him, as opposed to interacting with Ryan and me.

I'm not going to get too deep into my feelings about this yet. I'm not totally sold on her observations, and I think she discounted some of the stuff that we told her because she wasn't able to witness it. But I do think there is enormous room for improvement in our interactions with Nico, so I'm going to take some time to really focus on that. I really don't know if I'll take him back yet. If I do, I'm reasonably assured that they won't screw him up too much. It would amount to play, from his perspective.

Soooooo, I'm going to cut back on computer time; keep it to work hours and bedtime so I can be totally present for Nico. It'll be hard, because my coworkers are used to being able to reach me on my days off; and really, I think that has saved my ass a few times. I'm actually a little worried about it. And of course, with all the reading and horror watching that I have planned, and the fact that I'm going to try to limit chores to bedtime hours as well... I might not be around here very much for a while. I know, I'll believe it when I see it.

Anyway....

Happy Birthday Lily!!!

Welcome back, Lydia! Missed you!

Pauline. It never would have crossed my mind to think one way or the other about your decision, re: train pants. We probably all have little things like that that pop up out of nowhere and surprise us. Us human folk are fascinating, in that respect. I wonder if I'd be ok with Nico wearing a dress to 4th grade. I think so, but have a feeling that I won't really know until/unless he wants to.

[Hedy B.]

Originally Posted by aolinsmama

you could make melon soup, Hedy...

today was such a good day, i finally found a trail-a-bike on craigslist for Salila, *and* she is making friends at school (i have been worried about her socially at school-of course attached to my own social anxieties i am sure!) one little girl was getting on the 4 bus with us today, and they sat on the bus together, it was very sweet, did this mama's heart good

stressing about schooling our kiddos, no matter what we choose, is such a big parenting issue. thinking about it, which you all are doing, is so important. i hope you give yourselves some props for that!

Yeah, that anxiety stuff is definitely creeping in for me. Lily was telling me that someone at school was calling her "Fatty" already. I would like to figure out how to nip this in the bud so that she doesn't suffer the same trauma I did. Seriously. She's making friends too, but I really hate the idea of her being taunted the way I was.

What can be done about that? I have no idea. Really have no idea how to deal with it. It's almost paralyzing to think about, and I have been for a while.

Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital

We got internet again. Just a quick drive-by to say hi!

back!

Originally Posted by kaPOW!

Not until now.

Thanks for the good thoughts! Got the news this morning. She thinks that Nico has social delays. Not autism, and she thinks it can be worked on. There were no surprises, but I'd been hoping for a "what are you kidding me?!?!" type of response. She said that he didn't seem to be as engaged as much as they "would like to see" for his age. And that the repetition of tv, books, etc could be the easy route for him, as opposed to interacting with Ryan and me.

I'm not going to get too deep into my feelings about this yet. I'm not totally sold on her observations, and I think she discounted some of the stuff that we told her because she wasn't able to witness it. But I do think there is enormous room for improvement in our interactions with Nico, so I'm going to take some time to really focus on that. I really don't know if I'll take him back yet. If I do, I'm reasonably assured that they won't screw him up too much. It would amount to play, from his perspective.

Soooooo, I'm going to cut back on computer time; keep it to work hours and bedtime so I can be totally present for Nico. It'll be hard, because my coworkers are used to being able to reach me on my days off; and really, I think that has saved my ass a few times. I'm actually a little worried about it. And of course, with all the reading and horror watching that I have planned, and the fact that I'm going to try to limit chores to bedtime hours as well... I might not be around here very much for a while. I know, I'll believe it when I see it.

Anyway....

Happy Birthday Lily!!!

I'm glad to hear that it wasn't as horrible as you were worried it could have been. Whew. I can definitely relate to, and understand the need to be away from the computer more. I think I need to start doing this too, especially because I feel like I need to figure out how to help Lily develop some healthy self-esteem so she's not affected the same way I was with the taunting. Ugh.

Maybe that will end up helping me too.

[aniT]

Sara, I never thought Nico had autism. I am glad your mind was put at ease.

I might just join you in not being around. I am one more warning away from suspension. Bah.

[PGNPORTLAND]

Originally Posted by kaPOW!

Not until now.

Thanks for the good thoughts! Got the news this morning. She thinks that Nico has social delays. Not autism, and she thinks it can be worked on. There were no surprises, but I'd been hoping for a "what are you kidding me?!?!" type of response. She said that he didn't seem to be as engaged as much as they "would like to see" for his age. And that the repetition of tv, books, etc could be the easy route for him, as opposed to interacting with Ryan and me.

Sara,
I'm glad it's not as bad as you thought but I'm sorry it wasn't the "What are you kidding me response that you wanted. I was hoping for that one for you guys too. Still, it seems like it can definitely be worked on. And I would agree with taking it with a grain of salt cause, really, she only saw him for such a short period of time in such a strange environment for him . . . She couldn't have gotten the whole picture.

I understand you wanting to take some time off the computer but please don't let yourself become isolated. I will miss you. Will I see you at Hedy's on Saturday?

Originally Posted by Hedy B.

Yeah, that anxiety stuff is definitely creeping in for me. Lily was telling me that someone at school was calling her "Fatty" already.

This breaks my heart for Lily. That sweet girl. Have you spoken with the teacher? Do you know which kid it is?

[aniT]

I just reserved 1/4 of beef. With the cut fee and everything the high estimate is roughly $330. Still cheaper than I can buy that much meat at New Seasons.

[Hedy B.]

She told me his name. I haven't spoken to her teacher about it yet, because I only learned of it tonight. But I'm planning to.