anxiety sucks.

[itsang]

i am feeling so anxious. it has taken us so many cycles to get here & i'm just afraid that it's all going to go away. i've dealt w/ low progesterone issues in the past & i am just nervous that will take over.

i have no spotting whatsoever, but my boobs aren't sore all the time (even though they're way big & veiny), so i keep panicking. i am going to call my midwife today & see if i can get in to see her early.

i just don't like being so nervous. i wish i was somewhere around 20 weeks already, so i could be over this anxiety of miscarrying. :

anybody else feel this exciting time is being overshadowed by anxiety or doubt?

[MotherMama]

I could have written this. Our last pregnancy ended in an early second trimester loss in March and it's hard to be happy/excited when your mind is full of 'what ifs'.....the innocence of pregnancy is definitely lost.

[Stevi]

I go from being completely at peace to being petrified that something will go wrong...

[lovbeingamommy]

Originally Posted by itsang

i am feeling so anxious. it has taken us so many cycles to get here & i'm just afraid that it's all going to go away. i've dealt w/ low progesterone issues in the past & i am just nervous that will take over.

i have no spotting whatsoever, but my boobs aren't sore all the time (even though they're way big & veiny), so i keep panicking. i am going to call my midwife today & see if i can get in to see her early.

i just don't like being so nervous. i wish i was somewhere around 20 weeks already, so i could be over this anxiety of miscarrying. :

anybody else feel this exciting time is being overshadowed by anxiety or doubt?

I'm feeling the exact same way. I worry constantly that something's wrong when I don't have some type of pregnancy symptom. I had a perfectly normal DH at 40 w/o m/s. I remember thinking this is so easy. I can't wait to do it again, but then I had a m/c at 7wks So this time I do worry about the prog. (I am going in every few days for testing and taking supplements) and I'm trying to keep myself from being too happy until at least 14 or so wks.

[evening start]

Originally Posted by itsang

i am feeling so anxious. it has taken us so many cycles to get here & i'm just afraid that it's all going to go away. i've dealt w/ low progesterone issues in the past & i am just nervous that will take over.

i have no spotting whatsoever, but my boobs aren't sore all the time (even though they're way big & veiny), so i keep panicking. i am going to call my midwife today & see if i can get in to see her early.

i just don't like being so nervous. i wish i was somewhere around 20 weeks already, so i could be over this anxiety of miscarrying. :

anybody else feel this exciting time is being overshadowed by anxiety or doubt?

YES! YES! YES! I am both extremely excited and happy to be PG, and terrified that something will go wrong (and I don't even have a previous mc to make me worry). I start school tomorrow, and I want to be able to focus on my teaching; I can't imagine what I will do if something goes wrong while I'm in class. I tried to get an appointment with my midwives today, but they are super busy -- so I have to wait a couple weeks. I decided I would go to my primary care doctor to get a blood hCG and progesterone test just to be on the safe side and to have the information. Unfortunately, my primary care doctor didn't know ANYTHING about low progesterone and pregnancy and she didn't want to give me the tests because she wouldn't know how to interpret them, or treat me if there was a problem. I finally convinced her to give me the test and I would have it interpreted by the midwife when I went for my visit. At least I won't have to wait for blood test results to come back after I visit the midwife. So I'm hoping for the normal results, but dreading a problem. I hope this feeling goes away before 20 weeks.

[pleasantlyfurious]

Me too.

My progesterone levels came back negative and I'm still very worried.

Even if I just FELT pregnant, I think I'd feel better - but I suppose I should count my blessings.

[itsang]

well, thanks for all the replies, everyone...i wish we all didn't feel this way, but at least we have each other.

today a good friend suggested something to me that i'm going to try. she suggested i write down all of my fears on a piece of paper & then burn it. i also (this is my idea here) am going to try to start looking at my pregnancy how i used to back when i'd daydream about how great being pg would be...i always thought i'd be happy & satisfied once i saw the test & i'm going to try to think like that again. because, my dream has come true & i want to live it while it's here, no matter what is going to happen tomorrow or down the road or whatever. so, i've come up with a new mantra for myself...

"today i'm pregnant & today i'm going to enjoy being pregnant." :


good vibes for a happy, healthy, low-stress 40 weeks for all of us! :

[lil_stinkyfeet]

[Stevi]

Originally Posted by itsang

well, thanks for all the replies, everyone...i wish we all didn't feel this way, but at least we have each other.

today a good friend suggested something to me that i'm going to try. she suggested i write down all of my fears on a piece of paper & then burn it. i also (this is my idea here) am going to try to start looking at my pregnancy how i used to back when i'd daydream about how great being pg would be...i always thought i'd be happy & satisfied once i saw the test & i'm going to try to think like that again. because, my dream has come true & i want to live it while it's here, no matter what is going to happen tomorrow or down the road or whatever. so, i've come up with a new mantra for myself...

"today i'm pregnant & today i'm going to enjoy being pregnant." :


good vibes for a happy, healthy, low-stress 40 weeks for all of us! :

The happiness of finally having my lifelong dream comne true is the only thing keeping me from going into a deep depression. Everything in my life except this pregnancy, is going very badly. But, I'll deal with it, cause I'm finally going to be a Mother!!!!!!

[EMandM]

itsang: I love that outlook!

DH and I weren't trying, so I can't begin to imagine how hard it would be if we had already invested months or years into TTC, but I started bleeding the same day I got my BFP, and just barely stopped today (a week later). I've always known that i wanted to be a mother, in fact, it's all I've ever really wanted, but now, I'm too worried to even let myself get excited. I haven't even told my mom yet (even though we share everything), because I'm scared she'll be excited just to be let down. I had an ultrasound a few days ago, and she said everything looks good. I'm looking forward to another in 2 weeks to verify that all is well. I guess then I'll let myself get uber excited like I always thought I would!!

[Mei Mei]

It's really hard for me to NOT be anxious as this is a completely unexpected pregnancy. Even though everything is so unstable right now, I can't help but feel so excited and peaceful and content when I think of the little one inside me. It's hard to not become too attached.

[itsang]

so, i took my friends advice & wrote my fears down & burned them last night. it was soooo cathartic. i made a promise to myself to not go there & i am going to focus on keeping that promise to myself. :

these are happy times, women! we need to take a deep breath & remind ourselves of that!

[catters]

I'm going to try the writing down my fears too. I got a terrible chest cold (as did DS) two days after I got my BFP and I'm nervous and freaked out and POAS every day analyzing them wondering, "is this one darker than yesterday's?", checking for blood every time I go to the bathroom... And I'm coughing so hard I worry how that could be affecting the embryo, AND I can barely stand to eat anything, etc. etc. etc. I never realized how much I wanted this pregnancy until I saw that faint little line. I hate first trimester, its the worst. I wish I could just feel joy.

[Mama Rana]

Hi, I've been lurking for a few days, and finally getting the nerve up to post. I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant (15-16DPO, and no sign of AF; my normal spotting has dried up to nothing; sore boobs; hungry, tired, slight nausea here and there).
I'm sorta holding off on POAS and on getting excited or posting here because I went through this 2 months ago, and just as I was absorbing the fact that I was FINALLY pg, I miscarried at about 5.5 weeks. I couldn't believe it.

DH and I have been trying for almost 2 years [and an aside here, I can't say more for L-Arginine/maca root for mfi issues. DH was on the former when we finally got pg with DS, and the latter - which contains large amounts of L-Arginine - for the past few months. I was shocked to get pregnant in June with his low count, and am even more shocked to be pg again so soon. And we DTD at least 36 hours, maybe closer to 48 hours prior to ovulation.] The miscarriage was a physical blow to me, and I'm terrified of a repeat. OTOH, it spurred us to finally move my DS [age 4] out of the "nursery" and in to his own room, and do some other rearranging that will ultimately make the house more baby-friendly. The timing is lining up so weird. In June, I suspected I was pg on Sunday when I was so nauseas and my spotting had disappeared, and got confirmation on Wednesday, July 2. My due date would have been around March 11th, the full moon. This month, I started to suspect again on Sunday, though I haven't peed on a stick yet, but I was fairly sure by Sept. 2nd, and told DH that night. If it's true, my due date will be about May 11th, right around the full moon again.
So maybe this one will stick.
Best wishes, mamas-to-be!

[Matilda_z]

I've been trying to respond to this all afternoon.

There's worrying about what could happen and knowing what could happen. People in the latter category live in a place others only visit in their nightmares.

Let us all have beautiful pregnancies. Hugs to all the mamas in this group.