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Not finding out the sex with multiples

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
Hope it's OK to post in this forum, as I'm not a multiples parent and my motive is just idle curiosity!

If you have multiples, how possible is it to have the sexes remain a surprise until birth? I assume that with extra ultrasounds, more medical personnel being involved and more need to talk about the babies' positioning and so on, there'd be a greater chance of slipups. I do realise that not every multiple pregnancy is highly medicalised, but the intervention rate does go up.

So did any of you admirable women decide to wait and see? And if so, did the doctors/midwives/techs manage to keep their mouths shut? If so, did they refer to 'Baby A' and 'Baby B' to distinguish them, or what?

If you did decide to find out, were the findings accurate? Does the risk of getting it wrong rise with more babies kickin' around during the ultrasound?

Just curious (although twins run in my family, so I guess it never hurts to be prepared!)

Smokering.
post #2 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
Hope it's OK to post in this forum, as I'm not a multiples parent and my motive is just idle curiosity!

If you have multiples, how possible is it to have the sexes remain a surprise until birth? I assume that with extra ultrasounds, more medical personnel being involved and more need to talk about the babies' positioning and so on, there'd be a greater chance of slipups. I do realise that not every multiple pregnancy is highly medicalised, but the intervention rate does go up.

So did any of you admirable women decide to wait and see? And if so, did the doctors/midwives/techs manage to keep their mouths shut? If so, did they refer to 'Baby A' and 'Baby B' to distinguish them, or what?

If you did decide to find out, were the findings accurate? Does the risk of getting it wrong rise with more babies kickin' around during the ultrasound?

Just curious (although twins run in my family, so I guess it never hurts to be prepared!)

Smokering.
We've had it both ways and we prefer to know the sex in advance (although pre-kids I never thought I'd say that!).

With the twins, we did now in advance. However, the medical personnel were always VERY careful about referring to Baby A and Baby B and asking on each visit if we already knew the gender. We had the same ultrasound tech a few times and she always asked. It didn't offend me that she didn't remember us from one visit to the next - they see a lot of people and it would be such an easy mixup.

As for your other question, yes, the gender we were told was accurate. I don't think accuracy has much to do with how many babies are in there. They told us quite early (when things aren't nearly so crowded). Either they get a good clear view, or they are pretty careful to err on the side of caution and tell you they don't have a good enough view to be confident of the gender. (Not to say that mistakes can never happen, it's just pretty unlikely. They usually just say they can't tell if they are doubting).
post #3 of 32
We found out the sex of our babies in advance. They were right on about the sexes too.
post #4 of 32
We wanted to know. Baby B was definitely a girl but then she kept sticking arms and legs in front of Baby A and we were told "I'm pretty sure Baby A is a girl but Baby B is trying to keep it a secret"
post #5 of 32
Baby A was proud to let the world know he was a boy. Baby B kept us guessing until he came out. Oh and I had 3 u/s's weekly due to a torn placenta. We knew by week 15 what baby a was. Baby B was very good at keeping it a secret.
post #6 of 32
I'm umming and ahhing about this. Right now I'd like to wait and find out at birth.

We had a scan at 14 weeks and we could see they were dichorionic, but only one placenta could be made out, so I asked if they could tell the sex of babies to know if they were fraternal for sure. Obviously if b/g then it's clear as sunshine whereas, (from what I understand so far), if they were same sex then it could be that they are identical but split early on.

Anyway, it looked like they will be different sex from the direction of the buds of their genitalia, but it couldn't be confirmed for sure. I'm not 100% convinced, but that may simply be my deluded thinking!!!!

So....we have another scan Monday, 28+4 weeks.
To find or not to find out - that is indeed the question
post #7 of 32
We didn't find out with the twins. They just asked me before the u/s if I knew the sex, and then if I wanted to, same with my singleton pregnancies.
post #8 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by RachelEve14 View Post
We didn't find out with the twins. They just asked me before the u/s if I knew the sex, and then if I wanted to, same with my singleton pregnancies.
same here. the surprise was downright delicious!!!!!!!!
post #9 of 32
We did find out. We kept it a surprise for our first two singleton babies but we figured finding out it was twins was more than enough of a surprise the third time around .

I had some intervention and more than the average number of ultrasounds but I found most of the medical personnel always called tham Baby A and Baby B. I was the one calling them baby boy and baby girl. The gender determination was accurate as well.
post #10 of 32
We wanted to know but everyone was always very careful to ask first. My OB did an ultrasound but with a not very high-tech machine and she told us boy-girl. Then when we went to the specialist with the way high-tech machine she asked if we wanted to know and we said yes, the OB already told us and she said "So your OB told you it's two boys?" And we said "Um, no. She said boy-girl." It was yet another surprise in a pregnancy full of them!
post #11 of 32
We didn't find out about our twins until our routine 20 week scan. I went in not expecting to find out the sex but when she said it was twins I told her to tell me. I'd had enough surprises to last me a lifetime that day!
post #12 of 32
We chose to keep ours a surprise, too, and it was wonderful!!! I had more than average amount of u/s due to ours being presumed mono/di (maybe 5 u/s all together?) and our tech always asked if we wanted to know. Since we said 'no' she said there was no reason she needed to look 'down there' to check as she took the other measurements. Fine by us!
post #13 of 32
When we found out it was twins, DH was excited to get an u/s because we needed to find out why I was measuring big. Probably wouldn't have gotten one otherwise. The tech was great, but did reveal the sex of one of them right away, and wasn't sure of the other baby. I didn't want to know, necessarily, but that visit was enough of a suprise to carry me all the way through! Though I would think it would be absolutely delightful to birth TWO babies and find out their sex just then.....
So, yes, the tech (as I remember) did "mess up" by revealing, though in our case, DH wanted to know, which I wanted to if he was going to.
post #14 of 32
Oops! And yes, they were right-- two girls!
post #15 of 32
I am so amazed at you mamas who kept it a secret from yourself! That's awesome...I sort of wish I had the patience. We found out....had 5 or so ultrasounds. I was dying to know. Too many unknowns for me and it was a total surprise there were two at 20 weeks!
post #16 of 32
My husband wanted to know gender, but I did not. So, we found out if the babies were the same gender (yes), but we didn't know boys or girls until the birth. I like not knowing. With my singleton, the doctors slipped up two different times, leading me to believe we were having a girl, which we did.
post #17 of 32
I couldn't stand the suspense so I found out at my 20w u/s (which was the same day I found out that I was having twins, and twins with TTTS -- it was a big day in my life!)

However, I think if you told the tech, "I don't want to know," he or she would respect that.

At least, I hope the tech would respect that!
post #18 of 32
I didn't find out my twins gender prior to their birth. I had a lot of ultrasounds, too. We just told them at the start of every big ultrasound that we did not know and did not want to know the gender. I did look at the screen & thought I saw a penis on one of my girls, but guess it was the cord! I also had a few NSTs with the ultrasound. All in all, I probably had 10, maybe more, ultrasounds that involved actually looking at the babies, more than a quick check for a heartbeat and we were still surprised. I thought I was having boys to be honest and when I'd look, I kind of looked for a penis and kept thinking I couldn't see anything genital wise. Guess that's cause I was looking for a penis!

My understanding is that on the ultrasound reports they write, the perinatologists don't write gender, merely that genitals appear normal, so my doctors may not have known gender, either.

Anyway, I was so glad we didn't know. It was the most amazing surprise I've ever had -- I kept saying for the next week or so, "I can't believe I have 2 girls." If I'd been bold enough to hope for one gender or another, I would have wanted 2 girls.
post #19 of 32
Oh, at our last ultrasound we had a sonographer we'd had before & my husband said, "Oh, you did our ultrasound a few weeks ago." She said, "Oh, yeah, you're having 2 girls, right?" We told her we didn't know and she covered herself up so well that we didn't realize that she'd seriously slipped up and told us the babies' genders. I would have been *so* angry if I'd realized she'd told us. It was the 36 week scan & if I'd gone that long without knowing, I'd have been very upset at having the surprise at birth destroyed.

It drove people nuts that we didn't find out. My Mom made herself a major pain over it.
post #20 of 32
We didn't find out their gender either and I only had one U/S.
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