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Not finding out the sex with multiples - Page 2

post #21 of 32
This was our first pregnancy and when we went for our first ultrasound at 8 weeks we found out it was twins. We decided that we didn't want to know and told the technicians at every ultrasound. My dad wanted to know, so we had one of the techs write it on a piece of paper and put it in a sealed envelope and we gave it to him when we went for a visit. The tech was right that it was two boys.
post #22 of 32
It was our first pregnancy, and if it had ben one baby, we would have waited until birth. But, as others have said, we had enough surprises for one pregnancy! We got a good sighting on one of the babies at either 14 or 18 weeks, and because there was such a thin membrane separating them we assumed (correctly) that they were diamniotic and shared a chorion, so we knew the other one was a boy as well. We chose names for them right away, so Baby A was James and Baby B was Bryan. Our family doctor, bless him, always looked up which was which, so when he came into the exam room he would say "Let's check Bryan's heartbeat". It meant a lot to me!

Luckily Bryan and James match their names. We wanted to call James "Jamie", but it didn't suit him at all, even as a newborn. 14 years later he's still James to us, but some of his friends call him Jimmy.

The funny thing is, when we thought we were having one baby, we couldn't think of any names. As soon as we found out that there were two, we came up with 4 sets of names (2 boys, 2 girls) in no time!
post #23 of 32
I was going to find out the sex of my second child because my eldest was so set on having a brother that I wanted to be able to prepare him if it was a girl. When I found out it was triplets, I couldn't stand any more uncertainty and wanted sexes as soon as possible. The boys showed off the first time we were able to get a look, but DD was shy. But, I had an u/s every two weeks for 4 months, so we had plenty of time to see who was coming.
I did really like having names for them picked out by the time we had complications.

The u/s techs consistently referred to them as Triplet A, Triplet B, and Triplet C or as Twin A, Twin B and Twin C. The docs all realized that they couldn't be twins since there were three of them but still were consistent in calling them A, B, and C.
post #24 of 32
We found out at the 20 week U/S. I've had about 4 U/S's so far and they ALWAYS ask if we know or want to know before they begin. However, at the 3rd U/S, the Dr. handed me the wand and let me take the first look - I happened to land right on the crotch first shot (not even trying). So it was obvious what sex that one was.

We are expecting 2 boys in a few short weeks, so I'm not 100% on the accuracy yet.
post #25 of 32
We didn't find out the sex of our twins and I loved it!
post #26 of 32
We didn't find out until the birth and I cried for more than one reason when we saw it was 2 boys. It couldn't have worked out better for us.
post #27 of 32
We wanted to know and we knew we were having mono/di twins so the gender would be the same... and they were right... two girls. They ALWAYS asked every time though and I had a TON of U/S because of the TTTS risk.
post #28 of 32
We found out the gender. At first, we assumed we didn't want to know (we were surprised with our first child.) Then we found out we were expecting twins. Then we learned they were mono/di, and that meant same-gendered twins (I'd been hoping, for all of one day, for a boy-girl pair until I found out that we were having identical twins.) I felt strongly that this time I wanted to find out gender, after all.

That was at 14 weeks. By 20 weeks or so, when we had the opportunity to find out, I was more "used" to the idea and open to being surprised at birth by the gender. My husband, on the other hand, thought it was important to find out ahead of time. It also seemed prudent to find out so that our four-year-old, who REALLY believed they'd be her baby sisters, could have some advance warning if her plans had gone awry. And I was excited to know, too. (I was willing to wait, which I hadn't felt was a possibility at 14 weeks when we were shocked enough.)

So, we found out. Two boys. Yes, they were right.

I wanted them to be boys so badly that I scared myself a little with doubting the u/s. So every time we went in (basically monitoring for TTTS and watching growth), they would ask if we knew what gender we were having and I'd say that we'd been told they were boys. I would say it in a "The last tech thought they were boys" kind of way that would invite another look, and the other techs always confirmed it. The birth confirmed it, too!

As far as how possible it is to keep the surprise....I'd say it's a definite possibility. We weren't concerned about keeping the surprise (obviously), but if we had been we'd have told each tech that fact right off the bat: "We're not finding out." As it was, the techs all asked us, "Now, do you know what you're having?" EVERY time. I can't say they would not have slipped up, but it doesn't seem likely.

I suppose if someone said your twins DEFINITELY are fraternal, they'd be telling you they know the twins are a boy/girl pair. (There's no other way to know for sure, before birth, that babies with two placentas are definitely fraternal. They could be fraternal or identical.)

And it is standard to refer to Twin A & Twin B, even when you know the gender(s). The techs and perinatologists always referred to baby A and baby B, as did my OB. It's possible that they might tend to slip up as far as pronoun use during the ultrasound, saying "his" or "her" when talking about Twin B. But they seemed pretty conscious and probably well-coached in their policies.
post #29 of 32
My DH and I waited until the birth to find out the sexes. We found out at 23 weeks that we were having twins. My mom was with us for the u/s and she wanted to know the sexes, so I let the sonographer tell her out in the hall and then I let my mom tell my sister. The sonographer also gave us an envelope with the pics of the sex and the sexes written on the pics, at my request "just in case" I changed my mind and wanted to know. Ultimately we decided to wait, and my mom and my sis kept it a secret, from me and from everyone else. I had 2 more ultrasounds and I just made sure that I told them I did not want to know the sexes and they were very careful not to reveal. What is funny, DD and I were talking about the babies one night when I was pregnant and I asked her if she thought they were boys or girls, and she pointed to one and said this one is a girl and the other was a boy-low and behold she was right.
post #30 of 32
We did not want to know - I *really* didn't want to know - in fact I was very upset just having an u/s and made it clear that I did not want the tech to even peek at their genders (don't know if he did or not) and I did not want to see the babies on the monitor, so he turned his away from me and turned the one I would usually be able to watch off. That was the only u/s I had and my mw never saw it so there was no issue with anyone knowing or slipping up. I was *very* surprised at the birth when I had TWO boys! I already had 2 girls (only) and really thought that we were girl-making people.
post #31 of 32
We found out via CVS very early on (obviously we didn't have the CVS to find out sex - there were other suspected issues, which I was very grateful to find out were not there). But at every. single. sonogram. we had, either at my OB or at the hospital, the doctor asked "Do you know the sexes of these babies?" first. Even my regular OB double-checked every time.

So, since I am not that great at interpreting sonograms, I think we could've kept it a secret from ourselves. But it's funny - all my life I wanted my baby's sex to be a surprise. I wanted to see it for myself when the baby was born. Then we found out it was twins, and my husband and I unanimously agreed that this news was enough surprise for a lifetime, and we wanted to know what we were getting.
post #32 of 32
I promised my husband when we got PG this time around, that I would, as a gift to him, NOT find out the sex. (I was ADAMANT about finding out with DD#2)

When we found out we were having twins, boy, I hated (at first) that I ever said that! As time went on, though, I was more and more excited. A lot of my friends gave me grief, and said, "How can you NOT find out!!" ... My response to them was, "We were shocked to be having twins ... what more surprises can there be??" I only knew that they were mono/di ... I made the peri tell me that, in order to know if I should be concerned about TTTS, after reading about it here.

I just told the tech during every U/S, growth scan, etc, that we didn't want to know! It was no problem at all.

During delivery, I told my OB that I wanted my husband to be the first to know, then to tell me. He was the one who said, "LOOK, Dianna!", to which, I said, "Oh thank God! It's a boy!" I knew I had another boy coming, and was TOO excited! It was WAY fun!!
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