Long, also contains run downs from all my births
my youngest DD came into the world. and my god it was horrible. its was not bad compared to other birth storie's i have read here but for me it was bad.
here is her story
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=753724
i did post once trying to put this to bed but i still dont feel like i have worked throught it yet.
what i feel terrible about now is that
the MW gave me a sweep without telling me she was going to, she only said she would break my waters (against protocol and i agteed but in a way i am glad i did as there was blood in my waters and had i waited something worse could of happened.
once i was transfered things went wrong. i was stuck in a bed, told to sleep and intereupted every few moments, i was strapped to monitors, unable to move, unable to sleep and nothing was happening yet i was still getting Ctx. i was checked at 2am by some Drs, io was treat like a bit of meat, prodded, poked, checked, deemed 3cm.
at 4am the pit was started,
at 8.30 the shifts changed, i started having a panic attact and was told to stop being so stupid adn deal with it, (lots of noise scares me and lots of people were talking loudly all at once)
at 9am i was rady to crawl out of my skin., i was begging for a C-Section. i wanted to jsut go to sleep adn stay there. later i realised that the MW before had put the pit up too hight too fast. i was told to chill out a bit and that we were not going to do anything else for 4 hours, at 9.30 i was scanned
babys is fine, placenta is fine. i am NOT fine. i want it over. i want it OUT. i am aagain tal;ked to like im a kid. i can not get a grip no matter how hard i try i am no long in control and i am sobbing and crying.
i opt for the Epidural. it takes an age to get it in. they get it in, it wasnt too bad but i dont eer want to do it again,
once its in it takes then 15/20 mins to get the drung up as they loose a needle!! HELLO! lady in agony here jsut gimme the darn drug!!!
i get it, it strats to work then baby comes. from Epi placed to baby born is less than an hour. my last stages of labour are always fast.
the ONLY thing i liked about my birth was the healthy baby at the end. everything else sucked, i was treat like a child. or worse a bit of meat, i was ignored on the ward, at one point if elt really hot, so they checked my temp and said they would check it again in a couple of hours, i was not seen again till "bed time" my ward was not bedded down till going on 11pm, (BABY was born 11.34am) the food was OK i jut wanted sleep. i was so deprerat for sleep i asked if a MW could take the baby for an hour and was told no, baby is not tl leave mums side. fair enought so me and DD2 co-slept right there in the hospital bed, i managed to get 8 hours 2 hours at a time, but it was sleep. i was so happpy to be discharged the next day adn to just go the heck home.
now she is 14 days away from her 1st birthday and i still get the odd flashback and feel a chill when i think of having more. i do want more and next time i want a home birth.
my other births were pretty nasty by Natural standards, 1 cold induction, ARM, PIT,managed 3rd stage, etc etc i didnt know batter i was 21, i didnt care
2nd was brilliant, spontanious labour, got to hospital at 5am she was born at 7.5something her waterhs bulged so were broken but that didnt matter, the pressure relief enabled me to relax a bit and out she popped. she was easy
DS2 was horrible too, SROM, Mec in waters, augmentation, baby came out slugish and not coming around and was take to the resusitair, he squeeled at teh cold air on his skin adn a cheer went up, he was cleaned up a bit, wrapped and given to me, i was left alone, i started bleeding, badly, lucky someone came back and checked me, baby was take off me and i had uterine massage done, i was in tears and the MW was profusly apologising to me i said its ok i know you have to do this, gimme my gas and air!!!, i had an injection, it stung like somethign very stingy, i was kept on labour and delivery till 10pm(baby born at 1:45).
for all my births i have been stuk on my back in bed attatched to monitors (tho i was told with DD1 i could take am off but jstu didnt want to move by then)
my next birth i want a home water birth, im not sure if i will be "allowed" but i am going to look into it as the way i see it my house is closer to the "emergancy" hospital than the "birthing unit" is so if anything goes wrong here i am closer to help should i need to transfer.
i know that all the pain, the post partum bleeding, was caused by the Pit (i only had PPH with the boys, both on fast pushing stages, both told to stop stop stop)
i know htat with some preperation, maybe hynobabies, relaxation, water pool, family around i CAN have a home birth. i jsut dunno what teh local health authority says about HBing a 5th baby.
i plan on having my 5th baby in a bout 2 yrs althought i want one now i have to wait.
thanks for reading
love adn hugs to all mamas out there who had birth traumas.
Kiz
my youngest DD came into the world. and my god it was horrible. its was not bad compared to other birth storie's i have read here but for me it was bad.
here is her story
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=753724
i did post once trying to put this to bed but i still dont feel like i have worked throught it yet.
what i feel terrible about now is that
the MW gave me a sweep without telling me she was going to, she only said she would break my waters (against protocol and i agteed but in a way i am glad i did as there was blood in my waters and had i waited something worse could of happened.
once i was transfered things went wrong. i was stuck in a bed, told to sleep and intereupted every few moments, i was strapped to monitors, unable to move, unable to sleep and nothing was happening yet i was still getting Ctx. i was checked at 2am by some Drs, io was treat like a bit of meat, prodded, poked, checked, deemed 3cm.
at 4am the pit was started,
at 8.30 the shifts changed, i started having a panic attact and was told to stop being so stupid adn deal with it, (lots of noise scares me and lots of people were talking loudly all at once)
at 9am i was rady to crawl out of my skin., i was begging for a C-Section. i wanted to jsut go to sleep adn stay there. later i realised that the MW before had put the pit up too hight too fast. i was told to chill out a bit and that we were not going to do anything else for 4 hours, at 9.30 i was scanned
babys is fine, placenta is fine. i am NOT fine. i want it over. i want it OUT. i am aagain tal;ked to like im a kid. i can not get a grip no matter how hard i try i am no long in control and i am sobbing and crying.
i opt for the Epidural. it takes an age to get it in. they get it in, it wasnt too bad but i dont eer want to do it again,
once its in it takes then 15/20 mins to get the drung up as they loose a needle!! HELLO! lady in agony here jsut gimme the darn drug!!!
i get it, it strats to work then baby comes. from Epi placed to baby born is less than an hour. my last stages of labour are always fast.
the ONLY thing i liked about my birth was the healthy baby at the end. everything else sucked, i was treat like a child. or worse a bit of meat, i was ignored on the ward, at one point if elt really hot, so they checked my temp and said they would check it again in a couple of hours, i was not seen again till "bed time" my ward was not bedded down till going on 11pm, (BABY was born 11.34am) the food was OK i jut wanted sleep. i was so deprerat for sleep i asked if a MW could take the baby for an hour and was told no, baby is not tl leave mums side. fair enought so me and DD2 co-slept right there in the hospital bed, i managed to get 8 hours 2 hours at a time, but it was sleep. i was so happpy to be discharged the next day adn to just go the heck home.
now she is 14 days away from her 1st birthday and i still get the odd flashback and feel a chill when i think of having more. i do want more and next time i want a home birth.
my other births were pretty nasty by Natural standards, 1 cold induction, ARM, PIT,managed 3rd stage, etc etc i didnt know batter i was 21, i didnt care
2nd was brilliant, spontanious labour, got to hospital at 5am she was born at 7.5something her waterhs bulged so were broken but that didnt matter, the pressure relief enabled me to relax a bit and out she popped. she was easy
DS2 was horrible too, SROM, Mec in waters, augmentation, baby came out slugish and not coming around and was take to the resusitair, he squeeled at teh cold air on his skin adn a cheer went up, he was cleaned up a bit, wrapped and given to me, i was left alone, i started bleeding, badly, lucky someone came back and checked me, baby was take off me and i had uterine massage done, i was in tears and the MW was profusly apologising to me i said its ok i know you have to do this, gimme my gas and air!!!, i had an injection, it stung like somethign very stingy, i was kept on labour and delivery till 10pm(baby born at 1:45).
for all my births i have been stuk on my back in bed attatched to monitors (tho i was told with DD1 i could take am off but jstu didnt want to move by then)
my next birth i want a home water birth, im not sure if i will be "allowed" but i am going to look into it as the way i see it my house is closer to the "emergancy" hospital than the "birthing unit" is so if anything goes wrong here i am closer to help should i need to transfer.
i know that all the pain, the post partum bleeding, was caused by the Pit (i only had PPH with the boys, both on fast pushing stages, both told to stop stop stop)
i know htat with some preperation, maybe hynobabies, relaxation, water pool, family around i CAN have a home birth. i jsut dunno what teh local health authority says about HBing a 5th baby.
i plan on having my 5th baby in a bout 2 yrs althought i want one now i have to wait.
thanks for reading
love adn hugs to all mamas out there who had birth traumas.
Kiz
