Originally Posted by PapayaVagina
So I have an embarrassing confession to make...I dread going out into public with my dd and I very rarely do
. I get so nervous just not knowing what exactly will happen. If dh is with us things go much, much better but dealing with her by myself is just completely exhausting most of the time. I have some mild-moderate social phobia as well so that doesn't help the situation either.
I was really pleased though today when we went on an outing. Really reminds me that I need to get the heck outta the house. We had to drive an hour north to go to a meeting. She was great during the meeting except towards the end when she freaked out over wanting another little girl's shoes and starting fighting. We quickly headed to the car with me holding her and her thrashing, kicking and screaming the whole way. We got into the car, had a snack, got distracted and so I put her into her car seat, which went ok (meaning I didn't have to physically restrain her very much while putting her in there - sometimes it takes all of my strength to get her in all of the way) and headed to the grocery store. She was great in the store and actually would let me put her in the cart (which she rarely does), I got what I needed quickly while she snacked on some things that I packed and then went into her car seat very easily (lured by another snack) and was fine during the hour-long drive home. Whew!
I still am really anxious though when it comes to trying to plan being out with her. Does anyone have any tips?
I rarely take Keagan somewhere by myself if I know we will be inside and there will be other kids. Allison gets mad at me because she feels like I am setting him up for failure. *I* feel like I am potentially setting him up for failure if I put him in a situation like this. He just can get aggressive with no warning (as you have seen). It is getting better but I still have anxiety about it. And yeah, I've also got that social anxiety that you were talking about. It doesn't help matters any, does it?
What seems to help most with Keagan is staying away from indoor gatherings where there will be a lot of people, especially a lot of other kids. The one exception to this is that he does well at indoor part
Other things that help are making sure that we have enough food on hand that he can eat (we are GF right now) and leaving the situation right away
when he starts having a hard time. It doesn't have to be a long time - sometimes all it takes is going to a different room and offering mommy milks. Other times he needs to leave all together. Most of the time when that happens it involves a long crying session because he didn't feel ready to leave. It can be really hard to put into perspective what is worse - the insult to him in leaving when he doesn't feel ready or my frustrations in constantly
being right at his side reminding him what is okay and what is not (ie hitting, etc).
Okay, so sorry for the novel here but I just wanted to say that I really do feel like I understand what you are talking about here.