or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Spirited Kids Tribe
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Spirited Kids Tribe

post #1 of 112
Thread Starter 
I think the only other spirited kids tribe was archived (please point me in the right direction if I'm wrong). Just wanted to get another started. I'm currently reading Raising Your Spirited Child. My dd is only 22 months old but it was apparent from pretty early on that she was most definitely a spirited little one (even had a very spirited birth to say the least).
post #2 of 112
Hi there! In the interest of limiting FYT to subjects not hosted elsewhere on the board, we have moved your tribe here. You're still a tribe, which means you're still support-only. If you have any questions about the move, please do not discuss it on the boards. Rather, contact an administrator or start a thread in Questions and Suggestions. Thanks, and happy posting!
post #3 of 112
My 29 mo old is definitely a spirited little boy! Somedays he is really challenging for me but most days he is a delight to be around.
post #4 of 112
Yes, my daughter is spirited. I've already heard from her teacher this year. "She's quite . . . active, isn't she?" Yes, yes, she is. Dh and I have already decided if she has trouble in school due to her spirited issues (she calls it her "wildness" - she likes the idea of being wild for some reason, though I'm not sure where she heard that) we'll just homeschool her. I love her as she is.
post #5 of 112
I am so happy this tribe was started! Our 4yo daughter is as spirited as they come! She can be a handful but has such a wonderful view of the world around her that I would not change her for the world (at least that is how I feel 98% of the time, the other 2% I ask why did I not get one of those "quiet" models?)
post #6 of 112
DS will be three in November and is most definitely spirited
post #7 of 112
raising my second spirited child here!!!

my first was 11 before i had my second.......
post #8 of 112
I have a very spirited almost 5 year old.

My Mom says she is exactly like me.

Now that I have another child to compare mothering to, I have been able to reflect back and see just how spirited DD is.

She was 3 weeks overdue and 3 days of labor! She wasn't coming out till she was good and ready.

We were so intensely bonded that she literally felt like the same person for a few months after she was born.

She needs a lot of physical contact. She's still nursing.

She is LOUD!

She is bouncy.

She needs lots of help with transitions (but getting much better about it).

She is persistent. I can tell when her mind is made up about something and nothing is going to change it. The best thing to do is to help her meet the need. Many others (including my in-laws) are a bit judgmental about this.

I fear DH does not understand her at all.

I am completely enjoying my "Mr. Mellow" DS. He is the perfect little brother for my DD. They are yin and yang. She loves him fiercely and he just adores her.
post #9 of 112
I have four kids.

First was definitely a spirited child. She is now a pregnant 16 yo, no telling her anything about anything.

Second seriously shy to the point of intense panic if people tried to engage him. I let him take his time he isn't even really shy anymore at 10yo. I don't consider him spirited. 10yo now

Third oh boy was I in for it. I thought I knew spirited with my first! This guy takes me to the limit and beyond. I adore him and he is amazing but it is a serious challenge to parent him. I have homeschooled all the others but he attends Montessori and it is works great for both of us. 3yo

Fourth she is as sweet as pie but I see a stubborn streak. I don't think she will be particularly spirited just a bit fiesty at times. a year on saturday.

I need all the support I can get for my 3yo (3rd child) I am glad to have found this tribe before it is too overwhelming to keep up with.
Not only is he spirited but he also has sensory issues which make it that much harder to interact with him. I do everything I can to accomodate him and make sure his needs get met. I find it very tiring to say the least and I also really find it difficult to take him in public very often. He needs controlled settings. Between him and my baby who screams in the car it has been a long year at home.

I look forward to sharing support with you all!

Wendi
post #10 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by lactivist View Post
I have four kids.

First was definitely a spirited child. She is now a pregnant 16 yo, no telling her anything about anything.

Second seriously shy to the point of intense panic if people tried to engage him. I let him take his time he isn't even really shy anymore at 10yo. I don't consider him spirited. 10yo now

Third oh boy was I in for it. I thought I knew spirited with my first! This guy takes me to the limit and beyond. I adore him and he is amazing but it is a serious challenge to parent him. I have homeschooled all the others but he attends Montessori and it is works great for both of us. 3yo

Fourth she is as sweet as pie but I see a stubborn streak. I don't think she will be particularly spirited just a bit fiesty at times. a year on saturday.

I need all the support I can get for my 3yo (3rd child) I am glad to have found this tribe before it is too overwhelming to keep up with.
Not only is he spirited but he also has sensory issues which make it that much harder to interact with him. I do everything I can to accomodate him and make sure his needs get met. I find it very tiring to say the least and I also really find it difficult to take him in public very often. He needs controlled settings. Between him and my baby who screams in the car it has been a long year at home.

I look forward to sharing support with you all!

Wendi

THis is so my life....my first was spirited, he's 16 now and I cant even tell him the sky is blue!! My second is five now and she was also shy to the point of panic. On her second birthday, she hid from the guests (all close family that she knew and loved...individually, the group was too much). My third is now three and likewise, he seems waay more intense than his brother, though his brother was very spirited. And my baby is 16mos and I see signs......Im really in for it! I cant put my 16mo old down at all. We call him "velcro" around here.
post #11 of 112
You are in for it. I got so lucky with my fourth. she is really easy going and other than her temper seems to be really laid back. I am not sure I could take another one honestly. We are completely done now!
Wendi
post #12 of 112
Thread Starter 
So I have an embarrassing confession to make...I dread going out into public with my dd and I very rarely do . I get so nervous just not knowing what exactly will happen. If dh is with us things go much, much better but dealing with her by myself is just completely exhausting most of the time. I have some mild-moderate social phobia as well so that doesn't help the situation either.

I was really pleased though today when we went on an outing. Really reminds me that I need to get the heck outta the house. We had to drive an hour north to go to a meeting. She was great during the meeting except towards the end when she freaked out over wanting another little girl's shoes and starting fighting. We quickly headed to the car with me holding her and her thrashing, kicking and screaming the whole way. We got into the car, had a snack, got distracted and so I put her into her car seat, which went ok (meaning I didn't have to physically restrain her very much while putting her in there - sometimes it takes all of my strength to get her in all of the way) and headed to the grocery store. She was great in the store and actually would let me put her in the cart (which she rarely does), I got what I needed quickly while she snacked on some things that I packed and then went into her car seat very easily (lured by another snack) and was fine during the hour-long drive home. Whew!

I still am really anxious though when it comes to trying to plan being out with her. Does anyone have any tips?
post #13 of 112
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anglyn View Post
raising my second spirited child here!!!

my first was 11 before i had my second.......
some days i think that might be us. i am really scared of having to anymore responsibility than her and am especially scared that we might have another spirited little one. if it wasn't for the fact that i had a craptastic birth and want to get pregnant again we might never have anymore kids.
post #14 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by PapayaVagina View Post
some days i think that might be us. i am really scared of having to anymore responsibility than her and am especially scared that we might have another spirited little one. if it wasn't for the fact that i had a craptastic birth and want to get pregnant again we might never have anymore kids.
I have two 9 and 6months. Yes, it is clear that my 6 month old is very spirited. We had planned on more kids but I'm kinda scared myself. I don't know if I could do this again...

That is the first time I've said that outloud.
post #15 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by PapayaVagina View Post
So I have an embarrassing confession to make...I dread going out into public with my dd and I very rarely do . I get so nervous just not knowing what exactly will happen. If dh is with us things go much, much better but dealing with her by myself is just completely exhausting most of the time. I have some mild-moderate social phobia as well so that doesn't help the situation either.

I was really pleased though today when we went on an outing. Really reminds me that I need to get the heck outta the house. We had to drive an hour north to go to a meeting. She was great during the meeting except towards the end when she freaked out over wanting another little girl's shoes and starting fighting. We quickly headed to the car with me holding her and her thrashing, kicking and screaming the whole way. We got into the car, had a snack, got distracted and so I put her into her car seat, which went ok (meaning I didn't have to physically restrain her very much while putting her in there - sometimes it takes all of my strength to get her in all of the way) and headed to the grocery store. She was great in the store and actually would let me put her in the cart (which she rarely does), I got what I needed quickly while she snacked on some things that I packed and then went into her car seat very easily (lured by another snack) and was fine during the hour-long drive home. Whew!

I still am really anxious though when it comes to trying to plan being out with her. Does anyone have any tips?
I rarely take Keagan somewhere by myself if I know we will be inside and there will be other kids. Allison gets mad at me because she feels like I am setting him up for failure. *I* feel like I am potentially setting him up for failure if I put him in a situation like this. He just can get aggressive with no warning (as you have seen). It is getting better but I still have anxiety about it. And yeah, I've also got that social anxiety that you were talking about. It doesn't help matters any, does it?
What seems to help most with Keagan is staying away from indoor gatherings where there will be a lot of people, especially a lot of other kids. The one exception to this is that he does well at indoor part
Other things that help are making sure that we have enough food on hand that he can eat (we are GF right now) and leaving the situation right away when he starts having a hard time. It doesn't have to be a long time - sometimes all it takes is going to a different room and offering mommy milks. Other times he needs to leave all together. Most of the time when that happens it involves a long crying session because he didn't feel ready to leave. It can be really hard to put into perspective what is worse - the insult to him in leaving when he doesn't feel ready or my frustrations in constantly being right at his side reminding him what is okay and what is not (ie hitting, etc).
Okay, so sorry for the novel here but I just wanted to say that I really do feel like I understand what you are talking about here.
post #16 of 112
Hello Mama of 5 here with 2 spirited kids and one yet to be deterimed as he's only 7 weeks old.
My 2 high maintenance babes are my 11 yr old and his mini-me my 5 yr old. While my 11 yr old has mellowed out quite a bit he definitely still has his moments. And this is sad, but in a warped way I was so glad my 5 yr old started school this year because that meant less battles with him on a daily basis. If possible he is definitely more difficult than my older one. It's a constant power struggle with him. He can be such an absolute sweetie, cuddle bug one minute and heck on wheels the next.
post #17 of 112
Dont feel bad about not wanting to go anywhere! When my oldest was three, I barely left the house for a year because I didnt want to inflict him on others. Once, when he was about five, he was seriously acting up in a restaraunt and I wanted to take him into the restroom just so I could talk to him in private and with his full attention. Understand that he was NEVER spanked or hit in anyway......he is FINE until we pass a table full of people and the manager....when he suddenly drops to the floor so now rather than holding his hand Im DRAGGING him and he begins to wail at the top of his lungs, "NO, please dont hit me!!" I was Mortified!! Yipes!

My three year old is getting better but for awhile I couldnt take him anywhere because of his unprovoked attacks on other children. Now he just wails if anyone else so much as bumps into him. Sigh.
post #18 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anglyn View Post
My three year old is getting better but for awhile I couldnt take him anywhere because of his unprovoked attacks on other children.
Yes, this is exactly what has been going on with my almost three year old. He is getting much better with not hurting other kids, but he still does it. And he still hits/hurts us. This is what I have the hardest part with in public - the judgment from adults when he does hit someone (whether it is me or another child).
post #19 of 112
I have been reading along and laughing out loud. Literally. I have an intensely spirited 5.5 yr old, a mellow as they come 3 year old and a husband who is equally matched to my 5.5 year old.

Why does everything and I do mean everything have to be so hard? Bedtime - either we don't do anything from about 3 pm until bedtime at 730 or we fight tooth and nail. I loose it occasionally, and then it is 1000 times worse.

I sometimes fear that my child #2 is getting the short end of the stick because we spend.so.much.time and effort with #1.
post #20 of 112
My mom thinks my three year old acts out because he doesnt get enough attention as he isnt the oldest or the youngest or the only girl.... but i dont think thats it.

When he is allwound up,he cant hear us, I mean, he may hear sounds coming out of our mouths, but you knowwhat I mean!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Spirited Kids Tribe