susannah - one of the things i found with my dd is she goes thru some 'emotional phase' which includes hitting. she is 6 and was hitting even last year. it was like she was so mad - the only thing she could do was hit. i never understood the why and i dont think she did either. i feel she definitely went thru emotional growth spurts because after that she seemed much more easier. last year though there was a LOT going on in her life too. it might be a continuation of the holidays. and the fact that he is asking to nurse yet not able to find comfort in it shows he is looking for something. i know baths, water was v. v. calming for my dd. even the sink was v. helpful to her. just the warm water soothes her so much. many times i would just let her be in a smaller tub 3 or 4 times a day.
reading was another thing that calmed her down.
oooooh i had another idea. is he v. high energy? are u guys getting enough exercise? change of environment.
and here is one thing i have discovered about being the parent of a spirited child. as much as you ask for support i find most times i have to come up with the 'solution'. i could never apply what worked for others.
i have a 6 year old v. spirited, high energy, v emotional yet v. sensitive too, v. social child. she is the child who is never overwhelmed. energized when in a crowd. like she knows how to plug into others energy.
when i was pregnant - i got a lot of comments since my child is a mixed child of how pretty she would be - but i used to say i dont care if she looks like elephant man. i want a child with personality!!!! hah!!!!! did i get just that and MORE. i used to put on classical music at work to concentrate at work. woah. she would kick me till i put on some rock. she still loves music with a beat.
yup she was a Csection (i didnt know about birth options then) after 25 hours of labour. the sweet kind nurses tried helping by taking her and rocking her - she screamed to high heaven. mind u she was the only baby who wasnt taken to the nursery (i told them i wanted her with me). the nurses right there and then told me i had one of 'those' ones. it was so sweet to see them hold her and try to rock her. sometimes she tolerated them and was happy being with them.
and i will say i am so grateful she was spirited. yes i tore my hair out, was done being a mommy at 5 pm.... but i dont know i would know how to be a mom if she hadnt guided me into the mommy she wanted me to be.
going thru a marriage breaking down really helped me focus on her. i was stressed out the first 18 months of her life till we separated. so with teh stress of dealing with an emotionally withdrawn person gone - it was easier to deal with my dd. everything - the sleepless nights, food issues - was much more bearable than the emotional turmoil of trying to work at a failing marriage.
if i hadnt done AP with my dd i dont know how she could have grown up emotionally unscathed. her dad who is v. much present in her life - doesnt practise AP - but is a good and creative dad. just one of those who is not comfortable with a little child. he didnt really get involved in her life till seh was 3 years old. everything i went thru to parent her was worth it when at 4 she told me 'mommy you understand me - daddy doesnt)'.
all i can say about my dd is she is unique. she always stands out in a crowd. in positive and negative ways. but all her life she has been different than other kids around her. as a toddler she hung out more with teh moms than the kids at playgroups. at dc/ps she was voted the school clown.
right from when she was a baby she has always known the bottom of my reserves. just when i felt i couldnt take it no more - she would suddenly get easier. give me a break. as much as i needed. and then back on track.
from when she was 4 i felt like i was bringing up a teenager. and the more i used teen type parenting style it became much bearable for her. giving her her independence to do things. to believe her. never ever saying no, but defining limits. open to reason. always, always giving her a choice. never ever telling her what to do, but making suggestions.
she is a curious child with a whole different take on everything. she figured out a lot of the creating of baby from being with me at the bathroom. even now she doesnt tolerate too much physical distance from me. we are always as close as that activity will allow. at 5 she finally wouldnt buy any more time about 'no mama tell me EXACTLY how the sperm meets the egg.'
: then she wanted to know 'but how did daddy know when to send sperm or pee?' 'so pee is like water and yellow. what does semen look like?' she till today asks questions i have no answers to.
she didnt STTN till she was 3 1/2. she still nurses. and we cosleep. we both sleep better when we sleep with someone.
life is an adventure with my dd. i never know what's around the corner. all i know is there IS something around the corner.