There are absolutely parents who are struggling across the board. But some of the unparenting I have seen from RUs is a deliberate intentional choice not to provide guidance to their kids, rather than just a lack of skills in that area. And it is compounded in the instances I have seen by the fact that the community for an RU-unparented child tends to be looser so there are fewer adults available to those children to help them learn social skills and appropriate behaviour (as an example).
While obviously in some parts of the country, RU is so freakin' common that some see it as a trendy excuse for failing to provide guidance to their kids. While I'm not saying there's anything positive about unparenting, I see it as a real positive that there are actually pockets of the country where RU's the hot new thing, the thing that makes some people say, "Oh, I was about to hotline you for neglect -- I'm so glad you explained in the nick of time that you're radically unschooling!"
Yep, I'm being sarcastic -- but in a lame, unschooly, and not-exactly-wanting-to-offend way. Seriously, Karen, I'm just jealous that you say you're not an unschooler, and I'm guessing you probably aren't putting out fliers looking for unschoolders -- and yet you keep stumbling across so many! What is it about that "A watched pot never boils" saying?
Edited to Add: I just reread your post, and see that you actually know enough RUers to make generalizations about what the community for an RU-parented child is like ... so there really is some place in the world where lots of RU-folks are congregated ... I guess I should take heart ... maybe I'll find my tribe yet.