Moral support please.

[goodygumdrops]

I need some support mamas. I am having such a hard time this week, I'm scared the meds aren't working. I know that they are though but since they increased the meds, I've been just so out of sorts. Last night, I went to my talk therapist and I didn't even feel better afterwards. My stomach is a twisted knot. Seriously, I feel like I could throw up, it's been twisted for so long. I don't know when I fell asleep because my stomach was so sick. I took an Ambien and felt all drowsy by my stomach was so tight I was still awake for a while. Tonight I'm going to take a xanax.

Both my psychiatrist and therapist think the meds are starting to work and that it's going to be some time. I just feel so exhausted from trying to keep it together. I wasn't even on a theraputic dose before and I was feeling a bit better and now that I am I just feel so sick and paranoid.

Please, Please, Please....I need moral support.

[mom0810]

You are making progress. Things are getting better. It can take 4-6 weeks for the meds to kick in all the way. Just know it's better every day. Bit by bit.

Your lack of sleep can be a big part of how you are feeling now. Sleep makes such a huge difference. Take something to relax tonight, take a nice quiet bath or shower, and read something you enjoy. Taking that time for you will help so much, too. Take a walk today if you can.

[goodygumdrops]

Thanks so much mom0810. I have been excersising every day and doing yoga. I've actually lost some weight..maybe around 5 pounds or more.

I just feel bad like when I was on the zoloft. I am able to eat though and not having diarhea (sp?). But my stomach is just a knot... it's so uncomfortable. I'm definitely going to take xanax tonight.

I am ready to feel better. I start to feel despair like I will never get better.

[crazyrunningmama]

to you. I don't know anything about meds, but just wanted to send you some : Take care of yourself and live it minute by minute. It will get better.

[finn74]

ooh boy its rough! it took me 5 months of trying deal with it on my own til my brother pointed out that maybe what i was experiencing was ppd.
whats been working for me is meds, yes, i started feeling the greyness lift after bout a month. but what actually has been helping more is talking to a therapist and theres not enough credit given to a good nights sleep! (which for me is few and far between).
but back to the therapist thing, thats what popped into my head when i read your anxiety and twisted tummy cause i had alot of creepy scary psychotic frantic thoughts running through my head 24 hours a day, including when i was trying to sleep, which i discussed with her. within a short time and alot of reassurance that i am a very capable mother and i am not living on mars i felt my feet resting on the ground.
theres so much i feel for you, and i know, i know, i know. it does take time to come out of it though. i am praying for strength, openness, and keep talking!

[Aeress]

Med increases are so hard. Stay with it and take it day by day. You will feel better!

How are you doing with the xanax?


Post when you feel like you need more support.

We are here!

[goodygumdrops]

Well, yesterday was sooo tough. I have been a daycare provider since my son was 6 months and I have regular client that came yesterday. I didn't work with them for about a month when this whole thing happened but I just started back because I was feeling somewhat better. Well, needless to say I am not feeling better anymore (since med increase) so I was super anxious in the morning. I packed the kids up and we went to the park and I managed.

After dc was over and my husband was home I went for walk and cried my eyes out to my father. He has struggled with panic disorder and various other illnesses/addictions his whole life so he kinda knows what I'm going through.

Then my husband and went for another walk and took my ds to park. When he went to bed, we watched half a movie and I laid in my husbands arms to try and calm down.

During this whole day, my stomach is like a knot. I am vibrating on the inside. I am having major paronoid thoughts....like they freak me out. I am forced to avoid anything that's the slightest bit upsetting for fear of having a paranoid panic. It's truly the most frightening experience I have ever had in my life.

Finally, at bedtime I layed in bed and read my Harry Potter book. I think this is the 3rd time I've read them, but their really comforting so I'm reading them again. Then I took a dose of xanax at .25 and felt mellow enough to sleep. Unfortunately, it didn't keep me sleeping...I think I woke 4 times last night. I guess I should email my psychiatrist and see if she wants to give me something stronger. I wonder if I took a higher dose of xanax if I would sleep better?

Thanks for the support. I truly feel isolated from everyone because people just have no idea unless they've been through it. It's really helpful to get support from other mamas.

[Aeress]

I started at .25 for xanax and found I had the same problem. I would talk to your pysch about it and see what he recommends. Mine told he to try .50 and I did for nighttime and it helped. I was able to sleep for longer periods and that helped.

[goodygumdrops]

Well, today has been a better day. I mean as better as I can expect at this point. I haven't been on the verge of panic today which is a plus. I am thinking about starting group therapy once a week and then seeing my regular therapist every other week.

I'm waiting for my dr to get back to me about the sleeping meds....