Letter to LLL

[Nicole77]

I sent the following letter to a local LLL leader this morning. It is referencing volunteering at a LLL booth at a local fair. I went last year and was disappointed to see a closed off curtained area for nursing mothers with a table and chairs in front filled with information on breastfeeding. Volunteers from LLL were supposed to sit in front of the curtain, manning the booth and making sure that only nursing mothers went behind the curtain, no fathers, etc.

I feel like this stand does not actually help in providing a healthy, normal, or beneficial view of breastfeeding and I state why in the letter. Does anyone have any opinions on this and if they have noticed similar hiding away of breastfeeding by their LLL chapter? Seems like a bizzare group to have to worry about this with.

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Dear (local LLL leader),

I volunteered last year and to be perfectly honest I do not feel comfortable volunteering again if the set-up is the same. I think that having the seating area surrounded by curtains, curtains that are pinned shut even to prevent anyone seeing in, and making the space an area that men are not even allowed into, and then billing it as a "Nursing Mothers Tent" sends the very real message that breastfeeding is something that should only happen behind curtains and closed doors.

I would like to say that I think a LLL tent at the (name of fair) is a lovely thing, a way to provide more information to families throughout the Pioneer Valley, and even beyond. I was happy to see a variety of informational materials made available. Additionally, I understand that there may be parents searching for a quiet area to nurse or comfort their children, an area away from the noise and visual stimulation at the (name of fair). So, I do not oppose the closed off area in itself. What I do oppose in the designation of this area as a "Nursing Mothers Tent." How much better it would be to designate the area a "Family Quiet Area" and make it accessible to mothers looking for a quiet place to breastfeed, fathers who need to rock a little one to sleep, mothers who need to change a diaper, or fathers who need an calm area to bottlefeed a curious infant? Then you could be providing the same service of a calm and quiet area filled with great information on breastfeeding but without the acceptance and perpetuation of the belief that breastfeeding should be hidden away from the general public and even from fathers.

Thank you for taking the time to read this email and consider my thoughts.

Nicole77

[MsHiss]

Good for you! Please share any response you get. Great letter and I think you are absolutely right about the impression labeling the area 'nursing mothers tent' sends. what a shame no dads allowed, little slights like that make it easier to accept that dads don't parent, they babysit their own kids.

[MamaBear21107]

Originally Posted by MsHiss

Good for you! Please share any response you get. Great letter and I think you are absolutely right about the impression labeling the area 'nursing mothers tent' sends. what a shame no dads allowed, little slights like that make it easier to accept that dads don't parent, they babysit their own kids.

: Exactly my thoughts as well.

[lactivist]

What a great letter! Good for you for taking a standing and letting them know how you feel. This set-up would make me very uncomfortable as well. I hope you get a good response and that they rethink how they go about representing breastfeeding in the future. I would love to hear any response you get.

Wendi

[Debstmomy]

As a LLL leader here is my thought. You do not say what kind of fair it was, was it a health fair? a county fair? a baby fair? I really think that it depends on the venue. If it was a health fair or baby fair, it was/is highly inappropriate. If it was a county fair, I can still see why it is wrong, but seriously wonder if they were asked to do this in order to be present. I would be interested in your leaders response.

[luckysam]

Wonderful letter, respectfully said and very well written. I too am interested in their response. I think you gave them good things to consider.

[Koloe]

Looks good to me. My LLL did a booth at the local county fair for 2 years. We didn't have one this year due to lack of volunteers to staff the booth. We just had a couple comfy chairs, a screen - like the kind you would dress behind - kind of blocking one of the chairs from the aisle, water, snacks for anyone in the booth (volunteer or nursing mother) a table with information, and some coloring books and crayons for children who were at the booth. I don't recall that anyone ever took us up on the offer of a place to sit down to nurse other than volunteers. LOL But people walking by could see volunteers at times nursing their child.

[Nicole77]

Originally Posted by Debstmomy

As a LLL leader here is my thought. You do not say what kind of fair it was, was it a health fair? a county fair? a baby fair? I really think that it depends on the venue. If it was a health fair or baby fair, it was/is highly inappropriate. If it was a county fair, I can still see why it is wrong, but seriously wonder if they were asked to do this in order to be present. I would be interested in your leaders response.

I did not say fair because I am trying not to be too obvious about which chapter it is. But suffice to say that it is a very large New England county style fair. Not a health fair or a baby fair.

They may absolutely have been told to provide a curtained area. Rumor is that the woman who owns the building the tent can be pretty conservative. However, I think that even if they were told to provide a curtained off area at their booth they could still have named it something different and made it accessible to all parents. Like those family rooms at the mall. By naming it the "Nursing Mothers Tent" and only allowing nursing mothers behind the curtain they are contributing to the idea that nursing belongs behind a curtain, that it should be hidden away from polite society.

On another level, by naming it that they are directly opening the door for some expo employee to tell a nursing mother that they have a particular place for breastfeeding to be done and send them packing to the curtained off area.

Just my humble opinion of course.

[motherearthdancer]

While I agree with you I wanted to add that they may have been trying to reach those mothers who want to nurse but struggle with the socital stigma which implies that breasts are only sexual. I would say then that having such an area might be the first step in educating women about nursing in public.

Perhaps a better solution would be to have the private mothers only area & also have a family area. This way more mothers might see the family area as the next possible progression.

[Livviesmom0207]

I'm the volunteer from last year at that fair that was told I HAD to nurse DD behind the curtain....I LOVE that letter.

[scraphappy-Red]

Originally Posted by motherearthdancer

While I agree with you I wanted to add that they may have been trying to reach those mothers who want to nurse but struggle with the socital stigma which implies that breasts are only sexual. I would say then that having such an area might be the first step in educating women about nursing in public.

Perhaps a better solution would be to have the private mothers only area & also have a family area. This way more mothers might see the family area as the next possible progression.

And most likely, the LLL Leader(s) was just doing an outreach project for her community and was hoping to offer nursing mothers a private, comfortable spot to nurse. (And were also, perhaps, working within the contract requirements.)

The letter is very well written and makes wonderful points, but may be along the same lines as "preaching to the choir" (and might sting a little bit too if the LLL Leader is over-worked, over-volunteered, and feeling unappreciated for all of her efforts). Most LLL Leaders are on the front lines of breastfeeding advocacy and are well aware of these issues. Maybe the only comments she received was from grateful mothers who appreciated the added privacy.

Maybe another solution could be as follows: 1) thank the LLL Leader for volunteering additional time/energy to providing this opportunity to nursing mothers and then, 2) volunteer to help set up a different arrangement next year where mothers could chose the amount of privacy they are comfortable with...a family area or a closed, women's only area.

Take Care!

[mamajake]

I have organized a similar booth at a large Baby and Toddler Expo in a Pennsylvania convention center. Originally I got the space when I threatened to organize a protest against the Expo having no breastfeeding info and lots of free formula. The point of the private area was so nursing mothers could have quiet private space both in which to nurse and to receive nursing help if they wanted it (as well as just rest and get away from the rabble). Also, booth prices were cost-prohibitive and the expo provided a free table only if the booth doubled as an area for nursing mothers. So, no nursing space, no information table. But no one required that nursing mothers go behind the curtain to nurse if they didn't want to - they could sit and chat (and nurse) in the open if they chose. At the time there was no public breastfeeding law in Pennsylvania (as there currently is none in Massachusetts) so the convention center could have limited nursing to the space behind the curtain but that was never even suggested.

The expo also had no other space with chairs and there would have been no other comfortable place to nurse or even to rest with small children.

We probably answered more questions and gave out more information in three days than we did the rest of the year. I knew I was comfortable breastfeeding everywhere (and I did not go behind the curtain to nurse) but not all nursing mothers are.

I think the space was designated on the Expo map as "Nursing Area" but the booth only had the organization name on it.

I definitely see the argument that designating a space as "nursing" can mean to many that nursing is not allowed anywhere else. I would frankly be surprised if the intent of the organizers was to discourage breastfeeding outside the curtain. I understand keeping men out since not all women want to nurse in front of men.

Also, I know how hard it is to find volunteers to staff a booth (we needed three volunteers at all times to keep up with the traffic) from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. for three days, haul rocking chairs from home, load and unload boxes of flyers and tear-off sheets, run around after all the little kids that come along with the volunteers (including my own kids), and cleaning up after all the kind people who thought the booth was a nifty place to change a diaper. All this while answering millions of questions and helping moms with positioning. Oh, and smiling at all the people who thought this was a good time to tell you how much they hated people who tried to tell them how great breastfeeding was.

So, I see the point you are making with your letter but from my own experience I would probably cut those Leaders some slack.

[NettleTea]

Originally Posted by Livviesmom0207

I'm the volunteer from last year at that fair that was told I HAD to nurse DD behind the curtain....

That is disappointing.

[MeganS]

Our county fair had an area called the Lacation Station. I wasn't going to use it, but it was very hot that particular day. They had the tent in a shady area, and they had fans going inside of it, they also had information booklets at the table. I agree they shouldn't have it blocked off or anything. I think there should be an informational area though.

[MCKH]

I would guess that the majority of mothers, if given the choice, would rather nurse in a private area rather than out in public. Babies get less distracted and those who are more modest feel less self-conscious.

This is why our LLL meetings are "women only." Many women do not feel comfortable nursing in front of strange men. I personally do not want to nurse in front of someone else's husband and if given the choice between a private tent and a park bench I'd choose the tent. Not out of "shame" but just because, hey, if I don't have to show off my gut and boobs to everyone I'd rather not.

ITA with you that moms should nurse wherever they feel comfortable doing so, be it out in the open for all to view or in a private nursing area if that suits them better. However, LLL Leaders are already overworked and underappreciated. Do you know that the average Leader resigns her title within 5 years? I don't think your particular Leader was trying to make anyone feel like they HAD to nurse in the private tent. I would definitely give her a break. JMO.

[p1gg1e]

I just posted about one of these tents at my local fair. Ive been nursing for 4+ years straight and while I nurse for the most part in the open my YDD is vary distractable and I was happy to see the tent.

Other then the leader asking everyone to nurse in the tent I think the tent has a purpose. Is there a way to maybe as for there to be nice chairs for moms outside also?

[Livviesmom0207]

I got an email from the woman organizing the booth that mentioned that the tent has double the space this year. She also mentioned that she has requested that part of the tent remain open. I'm not sure if it's in response to that letter or not but it's a start.

I'm volunteering again this year mostly out of curiosity. I want to see if it happens again.

[milkmommie]

Originally Posted by MCKH

I would guess that the majority of mothers, if given the choice, would rather nurse in a private area rather than out in public. Babies get less distracted and those who are more modest feel less self-conscious.

This is why our LLL meetings are "women only." Many women do not feel comfortable nursing in front of strange men. I personally do not want to nurse in front of someone else's husband and if given the choice between a private tent and a park bench I'd choose the tent. Not out of "shame" but just because, hey, if I don't have to show off my gut and boobs to everyone I'd rather not.

I'm just one person and this is anecdotal but I think it's unfair to say that "the majority of mothers would rather nurse in a private area". I HATE being segrigated to nurse. DD asks to nurse A LOT, that's too much time to myself. I don't like sitting by myself to nurse at all. And I personally wouldn't mind nursing in front of anyone else's husband. I'm sure he's more interested in my conversation than watching me breastfeed.

[BaBaBa]

Originally Posted by MCKH

I would guess that the majority of mothers, if given the choice, would rather nurse in a private area rather than out in public. Babies get less distracted and those who are more modest feel less self-conscious.

This is why our LLL meetings are "women only." Many women do not feel comfortable nursing in front of strange men. I personally do not want to nurse in front of someone else's husband and if given the choice between a private tent and a park bench I'd choose the tent. Not out of "shame" but just because, hey, if I don't have to show off my gut and boobs to everyone I'd rather not.

ITA with you that moms should nurse wherever they feel comfortable doing so, be it out in the open for all to view or in a private nursing area if that suits them better. .

:
well said! I couldn't agree more.

[hellyaellen]

i think the letter was good. and even if it was preacing to the choir, well hey thats one more voice yk? could be useful if lll was not really keen on a closed tent to begin with but were complying with request from the fair organizers or something. keep us posted.....