Okay, so here is the thing (I feel very concerned)
MY husband's and my VERY best and dearest friends have a very different life style from ours, and ours from theirs (obviously). We sort of love them so much because they have never commented on our life style, or made us feel guilty, or like we need to make changes. I'm sure they feel the same way about us.
HOWEVER!!! I feel so strongly against circumcision, those poor baby boys, and poor men who have to deal with it later! I couldnt live with myself if I thought I kept my mouth shut, and my BF circumsized and regretted it later. What if she were to come to me and say, "if I had known then . . ." But then she is very religious (a religion that cries missionary work!!), and I"m sure she fights back the urge to try and convert me every day!
I brought it up to her and she said, "i'm sure its not that barbaric! They wouldnt do it that way" "I hear its quick and easy" and "they wont remember the pain because they are too little." I wanted at this point to say "YOU FOOL!!!" But of course, that tends to not go over well with BFs. She also admitted that she will do it for religious reasons. NOW her religion DOESNT require circumcision, but in certain regions they do it because of personal dedication to the bible, and wanting to stay true to biblical times. She even knew without me telling her, though, that it was originally promoted to prevent masterbation, and that it decreases sensitivity. I was appalled that she would want to decrease sensitivity in her little boy, but then again, her church is anti-masterbation, and probably would be just fine with a man being unable to feel pleasure as well as he might have been able to.
OKay, so anyways, I brought it up once and she really didnt seem interested in the negative aspects of it. She pretty much felt like she didnt really care and that she was gonna do it anyways. I think her husband may have this expectation from her, that their boys be circumsized or something. I feel really upset. Maybe all I need from you mamas is to make me feel better about preserving this friendship and sacrificing a penis. However, I think that if I ruined the relationship over it, it probably wouldnt go over too well for the penis either! I just think they will do it either way. What should I do????
MY husband's and my VERY best and dearest friends have a very different life style from ours, and ours from theirs (obviously). We sort of love them so much because they have never commented on our life style, or made us feel guilty, or like we need to make changes. I'm sure they feel the same way about us.
HOWEVER!!! I feel so strongly against circumcision, those poor baby boys, and poor men who have to deal with it later! I couldnt live with myself if I thought I kept my mouth shut, and my BF circumsized and regretted it later. What if she were to come to me and say, "if I had known then . . ." But then she is very religious (a religion that cries missionary work!!), and I"m sure she fights back the urge to try and convert me every day!
I brought it up to her and she said, "i'm sure its not that barbaric! They wouldnt do it that way" "I hear its quick and easy" and "they wont remember the pain because they are too little." I wanted at this point to say "YOU FOOL!!!" But of course, that tends to not go over well with BFs. She also admitted that she will do it for religious reasons. NOW her religion DOESNT require circumcision, but in certain regions they do it because of personal dedication to the bible, and wanting to stay true to biblical times. She even knew without me telling her, though, that it was originally promoted to prevent masterbation, and that it decreases sensitivity. I was appalled that she would want to decrease sensitivity in her little boy, but then again, her church is anti-masterbation, and probably would be just fine with a man being unable to feel pleasure as well as he might have been able to.
OKay, so anyways, I brought it up once and she really didnt seem interested in the negative aspects of it. She pretty much felt like she didnt really care and that she was gonna do it anyways. I think her husband may have this expectation from her, that their boys be circumsized or something. I feel really upset. Maybe all I need from you mamas is to make me feel better about preserving this friendship and sacrificing a penis. However, I think that if I ruined the relationship over it, it probably wouldnt go over too well for the penis either! I just think they will do it either way. What should I do????
) The two which I find most convincing are : a) the boy can always decide to do it himself later, and (if he wants to) will almost certainly end up with a better circ because of waiting (that is, they'll know how long his penis is and not take too much skin)-- also, an adult can self-medicate for pain if necessary afterwards. b)risk of complications: infections, botched circs, interference with breastfeeding.... even if I thought circ was a good idea, I can't get over how stupid it is to perform an operation on a NEWBORN.
I have been in similar lately, though over a different issue, and finally I realized that in insisting the person ( my mother) act in accordance to what I believe is right, I am making my views more important than her and than our relationship.
I was so upset. I really wish I'd done more (actually, anything) to possibly change her mind. I didn't even bring it up. I feel a lot of guilt over what has happened....at least I could have said something. I really thought she wouldn't do it. She asked me about every aspect of pregnancy and baby stuff that I thought that if she was considering it, she would have said something, especially since I had a little boy. If I had tried and she still did it, that would be one thing. But not having even said anything really sucks. I was afraid to risk the friendship and now having found out she did it, I feel differently towards her anyways. She has no idea I feel this way, but I can't help thinking about what he went through whenever I talk to her or see him.
