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Delivered vs. caught???  

post #1 of 14
9/3/08 at 5:39pm
Thread Starter 
Ok so I have another thing bugging me, my mom and dh were there for my homebirth of dd. Hubby let me rest against him and mom checked me and then caught dd... I'm glad she got to experience that, she is soooo stoked and tells everyone she meets even Joe Blow down the road (ok not really but she does tell strangers everywhere she goes lol) but it irks me everytime she says she delivered her, idk why but it does, I keep thinking that she caught her because dd literally came flying out into her arms. Does this bother anyone else? I must be sounding like a petty idiot right now but I can't let it go... I hate it when they say that the doctor "delivered" the baby because I'm just thinking that the person did nothing! They were just there to catch, momma did the work, not them....

Ok be honest is this just totally lame of me? I wouldn't dream of telling my mom of how I feel cause I dont want to take any of her joy away, she's the type that would just keep quiet...
post #2 of 14
9/3/08 at 8:56pm
Funny, I have struggled a bit with the difference too, but not because it bothers me. My dh "caught" our ds #2, but sometimes I can't help, but say that he delivered him. I guess we delivered them!! They were just there to keep them from hitting the floor!
post #3 of 14
9/3/08 at 8:58pm
DH told me he was pretty hurt when I told someone that I delivered him. He was there for most of the delivery (when she actually came out he was stepped outside the room but he helped me get to a better position once she was out - I didn't know what to do with her, as I was kneeling on the ground with her behind me...) Anyway from then on I told people that he delivered her.

I know what you mean though.
post #4 of 14
9/3/08 at 8:59pm
I birthed Lina. I have no idea what anyone at the other end did, but I birthed her and that's all that matters.

ETA: speaking for my experience only, not for all births even births identical to the one I had.
post #5 of 14
9/3/08 at 10:17pm
how funny but I do understand! yeah, YOU delivered her!
post #6 of 14
9/4/08 at 12:59am
I do clarify if people ask me if my midwife delievered the baby. No. She sat in a chair a few feet away and watched (waiting to step in if we needed her). Dh observed. dd observed. ds observed.

I delivered and caught my own baby.
post #7 of 14
9/4/08 at 1:16am
I KWYM! i did most of the catching, but dh was freaking out and reached out and helped catch (i said "i'm having the baby NOW!"...apparently he didn't believe me, until he got down on his knees and saw the head between my legs, and then he yelled "OH MY GOD!" and reached out to help me)...everyone keeps saying things about how he must've been so scared delivering the baby, blah blah blah. screw you! i did all the baby deliverin' work!!!
post #8 of 14
9/4/08 at 1:22am
Thread Starter 
Thank goodness, I seriously thought I was the only one who felt this way and I thought I was totally selfish for feeling like this. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you now I don't feel crazy (well, no more than usual ).
post #9 of 14
9/4/08 at 10:36am
Dropping in from September--this is a pet peeve of mine, too. I am doing some editing for an education company, and one of the sentences I recently edited said something like "Beth rushed to the hospital so the doctor could deliver her baby." That one got a little taste of my editing!

Saying someone else "delivers a baby" does seem to take something away from the mama.
post #10 of 14
9/4/08 at 10:57am
Is it maybe an older-generation thing? I told my MIL that the midwife "caught" DD and she said "She's a baby, not a cricket ball!". I don't think she thinks about who did the "work" she just thinks "caught" is a vulgarity, as if you shot the baby out your vagina like a cork out of a bottle. I think for her generation (she's 70) "delivered" is a nice word which indicates who helped the mom out in the moment without having any sort of images of vaginas or actual birth processes come up in the mind. It's a bit barmy to me, but i truly think that's what it is for some people.
post #11 of 14
9/5/08 at 1:37pm
my dh handed her to me

i wasn;t having a bay, i was in shock still

m body birthed her he handed her to me
post #12 of 14
9/5/08 at 1:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post
Is it maybe an older-generation thing? I told my MIL that the midwife "caught" DD and she said "She's a baby, not a cricket ball!". I don't think she thinks about who did the "work" she just thinks "caught" is a vulgarity, as if you shot the baby out your vagina like a cork out of a bottle.
post #13 of 14
9/5/08 at 2:26pm
My baby was not "caught." She required much more manipulation than just "catching," and she was literally pulled out of me from one end and pushed out from the other.

It took two midwives to remove this baby from my vagina once her head was out. What do you call that? I'm fine with "delivered."
post #14 of 14
9/5/08 at 4:21pm
mine needed a little help too... my mw needed to turn the baby and pull him out while I was pushing. So I guess we delivered them?
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