We're a teenager free household for the first time in years, and it's breaking the bank

[3lilmonsters]

We just go the youngest of my siblings in college and it is costing so, so much money. She is looking for a job to take over some financial responsibility, or so she says. It never took me more than a couple of days to find a job, but maybe its different with so many other student also, presumably, looking?

Those of you with teens in college - what do you pay for? Books? Their personal stuff like shampoo? Food? Laundry? What, if anything do you expect them to pay you back for?

[MCR]

We paid out what feels like and arm and a leg this year, Ds is on year 3. Our share of tuition $3000 then I spent $300 on books that were in stock, one was back ordered and I just ordered $75 more from amazon.
He has applied for a bunch of work study jobs, and has an interview friday to work in housing at the college between classes. So he should be able to eat. and also a TA position.
He will have my whole tax refund by the time we pay for Spring semester the week before Christmas. So we are all on a nice squeaky tight budget) Poor Ds could find work this summer everyone was cutting back, normally we split all the costs and he has enough money to eat just from his summer job.
He's in a small private University so costs are higher.
He promises next summer he's going to start applying at easter for summer jobs.
Oh I forgot to say, I go into the town he's in for groceries every two weeks and at the same time, buy all his toiletries and some groceries for him. It was much cheaper having him in high school and giving him gas money occasionally.

[lindsaye3]

Hi. Ds is in year 2 at a private university and it costs huge $$$$. We don't pay for much, we just can't. His books last year were $900.00! He sold them back at the end of the year, so he recouped some of that. Last year we did buy sheets/towels, small refrig, microwave, toiletries, etc. He has scholarships and financial aid and works over summer and breaks. He got a paid intern job at a major defense contractor in high school and has been very lucky to continue to work for them (not as an intern) over the summer and at Christmas/Spring break. He loves it, since he is an engineering/science/math kind of guy. When he comes to town I do a major grocery shopping with him and buy him all kinds of food and toiletries. This year he is renting a house with 3 other guys, they believe they will save money because the room and board part of school is really expensive and they didn't like the food at all in the cafeteria. Basically we have made him in charge of his own money, he pays, he plays, he is in charge of his grades, his checkbook, his bills, etc. We'd love to help him pay for stuff, but it just isn't possible with me at home and he understands that. A trip to Costco and the grocery store once in a while is about our only financial contribution at this point. Kind of makes me feel bad, but we do the best we can.

[enkmom]

We paid a small amount toward tuition, room and board, and we co-signed loans for them for the rest. We buy their books. I have an over-supply of HBA items, so they are free to take them as they need (their campus is an hour away). Their cafeteria is closed on Sunday after 1pm, so dinner is on them. My mom helps a lot by buying them grocery gift cards and they fix simple things in their dorm rooms. They pay for their own laundry, but I buy the detergent. They share a car, but we send gas money every month.

They don't currently work at school. My daughter has a job in a department store in our town, and comes home once a month to work a weekend. She also works as many hours as she can over the summer and saves the money. My son worked full-time for our city this summer, and can return to it every summer if he chooses to. They are both fully aware of our current financial situation, and know that they will have to pay for any extras on their own (fraternity, concerts, trips with friends, etc.). They accept the situation and are really learning to budget their money.

[pranamama]

I am going to be joining the child at college, so I am subbing in advance

Are the financial aid packages, scholarships, workstudy programs helpful?

My dd doesn't want to take out any student loans, but I'm not sure how that'll work

[3lilmonsters]

My sis gets student aid and her EFC is $0. She will actually probably get about $300 back this semester, but that won't come for another month. Financial aid takes into account books, but they don't actually pay for it. You pay, then they send you money later. She does have a meal plan, but it it was so expensive she just got the smallest and I bring her food when I go up.

Books are making me cry though. I paid $250 for her to buy used books online, but she couldn't get all of them. So then I gave her $150 to cover the books for her chem class and lab ($130) and told her to keep the rest for laundry and stuff she needed. Then she called me up yesterday and told me that one of the books they sent her was the wrong edition, and while she paid $60 for it online, she doesn't have time to exchange it for the right one and the right one in the bookstore is twice that. And they don't have it used. Plus, they didn't have the list of books she needed for her english class posted at the bookstore or online for some reason and she just got it. All in all she needs about $200 more. So that's $250+$150+$200 (-$60 when we get that refund) I've spent on books, plus I needed to buy her sheets and all new toiletries because I didn't have twin sheets to spare and she shared toiletries with me. That was about $100 for that stuff. Now I need to buy *my* books, but since I'm only taking two classes it shouldn't be too expensive...I hope.

I should have planned better. This month is beyond tight.

[caudex]

I am in college right now, putting myself through, the my parents bought my books this semester, for $300.

Jobs are very thin on the ground this year. Everyone is feeling the pinch, so even people who normally wouldn't have jobs during the year, do, and most of the jobs on campus call for work study or work merit. I have an interview tomorrow for a part time internship about an hour away, and if i don't get that I don't know what I'll do for next semester.

College is expensive, and everyone is feeling it these days, whether they've got scholarships or not.

[3lilmonsters]

Ugh. I was going to go buy the last installment of books today and I texted her to find out exactly what she needed and she told me it was actually $255+tax. About 15 minutes later she texted me and told me she was mistaken, it was two books that were $180 each, another that was $60 and a piece of lab equiptment that she wasn't sure about the cost of. Plus a code thing to access some website that's $20. That's $440 I think! In addition to the previously spent $250 and $150. Just on books.

I'm seriously out of money

[SusanElizabeth]

xx

[SusanElizabeth]

Originally Posted by 3lilmonsters

We just go the youngest of my siblings in college and it is costing so, so much money. She is looking for a job to take over some financial responsibility, or so she says. It never took me more than a couple of days to find a job, but maybe its different with so many other student also, presumably, looking?

Those of you with teens in college - what do you pay for? Books? Their personal stuff like shampoo? Food? Laundry? What, if anything do you expect them to pay you back for?

I guess I'm confused by this post. Do you mean what expenses are we paying for in addition to tuition? Or what expenses overall? And by "youngest sibling" do you mean your sister? Or your child?

I have a daughter who is a senior in college. We are paying for her tuition, room and board, and her books. She also works at the college, and has another job during the summer, so she is picking up personal expenses.

I guess we don't expect her to "pay us back" for anything. She is working very, very hard in college, and I feel that she is doing her share. If she had bad grades and wasn't working, I would feel differently.

**ETA: I Reread this and it's your sister --- sorry.

[nolonger]

dd uses her inheritance from her aunt for tuition and books and her wages from her job for clothes, transportation, and food. I don't charge her for rent, electricity, internet, etc. She offered to buy us a new computer which would be mostly for my use, so I said thanks but no thanks, and I helped her get her credit card debt under control once.

She's pretty independant, I think, compared to other kids her age.

[phathui5]

I expect when my children reach that age that they'll be working all summer between years of school to pay for anything not directly related to tuition. Books, personal needs, etc, will be coming out of their own money.

If it's within driving distance, they're welcome to live at home. Should they choose to move away for college, the costs of living away from home will be their responsibility (since they had the option for free room and board).

[Honey693]

I graduated two years ago and my parents payed everything, but fun stuff. I paid gas, clothes, eating out, things like that. DH on the other hand had to pay everything himself at a private college. He worked three jobs, took 16-20 credit hours, and hardly slept for 4 years. It was really rough on him and he still graduated with over 25k in debt.

[leafwood]

I don't have college aged kids yet, but when I attended undergrad my parents covered the tuition which was the best gift they ever gave me. I had always worked and had saved $5000 which I used for books over the 4 years (I was a bio/psych double major and it was at least $1000 a year in the late 90's). I paid for my gas, spending money, any food outside the dining hall but my parents paid my car insurance (car was paid off). I babysat the first year and the second year I held 2 jobs working about 25 hours per week. When I moved off campus my 3rd & 4th years my parents paid my rent and utilities (I paid phone) and then sent me $50 a week for food. This was very generous of them and they were able to do it b/c the off campus pricing was so much lower. The year I graduated I decided to work before grad school and I was on my own with the exception of my car insuarnce.

College is extremely expensive and I can't imagine it's easy especially in this economic climate!

[kimiij]

Originally Posted by 3lilmonsters

My sis gets student aid and her EFC is $0. She will actually probably get about $300 back this semester, but that won't come for another month. Financial aid takes into account books, but they don't actually pay for it. You pay, then they send you money later. She does have a meal plan, but it it was so expensive she just got the smallest and I bring her food when I go up.

Books are making me cry though. I paid $250 for her to buy used books online, but she couldn't get all of them. So then I gave her $150 to cover the books for her chem class and lab ($130) and told her to keep the rest for laundry and stuff she needed. Then she called me up yesterday and told me that one of the books they sent her was the wrong edition, and while she paid $60 for it online, she doesn't have time to exchange it for the right one and the right one in the bookstore is twice that. And they don't have it used. Plus, they didn't have the list of books she needed for her english class posted at the bookstore or online for some reason and she just got it. All in all she needs about $200 more. So that's $250+$150+$200 (-$60 when we get that refund) I've spent on books, plus I needed to buy her sheets and all new toiletries because I didn't have twin sheets to spare and she shared toiletries with me. That was about $100 for that stuff. Now I need to buy *my* books, but since I'm only taking two classes it shouldn't be too expensive...I hope.

I should have planned better. This month is beyond tight.

Honestly, I graduated from college about two years ago and that's not a lot of money at all. I guess since she's your sister then perhaps it's different, but my costs for my first year of college were a lot more.

I did end up working throughout to pay for my foods and incidentals but my parents paid for my books and tuition.

If she doesn't have too many loans as part of her financial aid package, have her consider taking out an extra $1000 in loans if you are finding it hard to help her. That way, she can use the refund she'll get back to pay for things that you would otherwise be paying for.

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by 3lilmonsters

Then she called me up yesterday and told me that one of the books they sent her was the wrong edition, and while she paid $60 for it online, she doesn't have time to exchange it for the right one and the right one in the bookstore is twice that. And they don't have it used.

Does she really need the new edition? I work for a university so see a lot of editions of books. Sometimes the changes between one edition and the next are so small that students can easily get by with the older edition and a lot do. If there is some specific thing that is missing from her edition, she can always go to the library and get the new edition and photocopy the info.

[quantumleap]

We don't have kids in college, but as a perpetual student myself...
If you can't afford to help your sister, don't. She's a "Grown Up" now. If she can't (or doesn't want to) secure outside financing in the forms of scholarships, bursaries, loans, part-time jobs, etc, then she'll just have to reduce her course load or find another way to work it. I really don't think anyone is doing their dependants any favours by putting themselves in the poor house in order to pay for school and extras for said dependants.

re: books - this is actually one area where it is *really* easy to cut costs. You never need the newest edition. Ever. If things have changed radically from one edition to another, it is never over 500 pages, it's usually just a paragraph or two on a few pages. She can either read and take notes from a friend's book, or make photocopies, or speak with the teacher. I have never had a teacher who didn't offer up the use of their own text for a bit before or after class for those of us who had older editions and just needed to jot down a few things from the newer edition.
Rule #1 is never, ever, buy a book until the prof opens it in class/requires readings from it as homework. I didn't know about this rule in first year of my first degree, and I actually bought three different books that were never touched! Check the school and public libraries for books for english class, as well as for texts that are only going to be used for a portion of the semester. The library almost always has them, you just have to be a bit proactive to get to them first! Also, it is really, really rare that the entire reading list for a class changes from year to year, and people are always selling their books. Your sister won't fall irreperably behind if she waits two weeks to buy her books from the heaps of "for sale" flyers that will go up around campus. Especially in first year. And, lab equipment (if it's the typical glasses, coat, etc) can be found for much cheaper off campus. Thrift stores often have lab coats, and almost always have scrubs (get her to double check with the lab teacher - often they do allow a button up scrub or even men's dress shirt). Medical supply stores sell glasses and other equipment, typically cheaper than the campus stores.

Also, get her to check around town (the library bulletin boards and arts/indie newspapers are good starting points). In a campus town, there is often a lot of free stuff (meals!) going on. Food Not Bombs is the first one that comes to mind. A chance to get involved with the community while also getting a free meal once or twice a week.

Bla, bla. Sorry, you weren't even asking for advice, and here's a whole book of stuff! I hope you guys can strike a balance that works for everyone.

[Girlprof]

As a professor, I want to add two things.

I do assign a very expensive book in one class, which I always apologize about. But, it's a great book and I have the students read a lot of it. They MUST have the right edition because this is a political science class and they do a serious revision every 3-4 years. This year there is a new edition so no used books are available. Next year, they will be. Certainly save on books if you can, but you can't always. You can pretty much always get them in the library though (for free).

If it's possible for your student (whether sister or child) to work less, it is probably a good idea. 10 hours a week isn't going to be a big deal and can teach responsibility, perhaps forge a connection through a job in a library or as a research assistant. 20 hours a week is going to take away from time the student could be spending on classes. Of course it isn't always possible for students to work less - I worked about 15hr/week in college all the time. Just another perspective.

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by 3lilmonsters

She is looking for a job to take over some financial responsibility, or so she says. It never took me more than a couple of days to find a job, but maybe its different with so many other student also, presumably, looking?

Was there an economic crisis of historic proportions going on when you were in school? It definitely is different now.

[mommy68]

I lived at home when I was sort of in college and sort of working between the ages of 18-22. I helped with cooking, cleaning and did my own laundry. I was the youngest so no one else was left in the house but me and my mom. I was not expected to help with bills. She never asked me to. I bought her things. I paid for meals at times. It just varied. But I did do a lot of cooking and cleaning when I was home. I kept house like I would if I lived alone. I didn't just leave my things and expect her to clean up after me.

Is your daughter in a comm college or college right now? If so, most have an employment office or a place she can go to get help finding a job.

It depends on what my kids decide to do but I'll never say I'd never help them, even if they move away for college. They're my children. If they ask for money or assistance in some way I won't turn them away. Just because they are suddenly 18 or older and go to college doesn't mean I just cut them off point blank. I won't help them because I feel I "have" to but definitely because I love them and want to help them. It would be totally different if a kid got strung out on a drug and the parents were helping out financially in that type of situation. My child goes to college, sure I'll help.