Babysitter + uncircumcised = no no UPDATE!!

[ishereal]

Wow. So I went to interview a potential babysitter today and I was giving her some info about my son and how to care for him. I told her that because he is not circumcised that there is no need to retract his foreskin because you can hurt him. At that point she asked why I didn't circ him I told her it was genital mutilation then she asked will I circ him in the future I said no and she asked me "well what about the diseases he can get" I said like what then she proceeded to tell me about this older man she knew that had to get circ for whatever reason and about hiw painful and horrible it was. At that point in my mind the interview was over, but I sat there on auto pilot. I was sooooo unprepared for that and she even offered to get me some info on it Other than that she was a nice lady and a nice in home daycare.... I want to give her some info on staying intact and I am curious as to exactly what diseases she is talking about, maybe I will have the strength to ask her next time :

Update: I went by her house today to sign the papers and I brought her info how to care for intact penises and also 2 articles one was an article form mothering and the other was a article from the stl post dispatch. I mentioned to her a little bit of the history of it (which I learned from the Penn and Teller video) and she asked me was I sure about it being used to discourage boys from playing wit themselves, I told her I would email her the video link!!! Also she said "so I guess it's becoming more common to not circumcise", I said YES!!!!!!

[loveyourohana]

This is someone that is a around children all the time... I would give her the information that is against it... give her information on female mutilation as well... for some reason when I heard about female mutilation, and then looked at male mutilation, I knew it was the same gross sick sadistic thing!

I had no idea they even had femal circ. it just lit a fire in me, it took a little time, but pea sized pieces of info. I pulled together became black and white after a while. No question. Circumcision is sick!

If she agrees great, if not, a little seed was planted, you could run into her a year from now, and she very well may have changed her mind completely. We only know what we know.

[mntnmom]

She's just spitting up the garbage she's been fed. She might be open to solid information if presented in a non-judgemental "hey, look at this new medical knowledge" sort of way.
She's in such a position to influence new parents, you should at least print off some nocirc or Doctors against circumcision pamplets for her.

[perspective]

Originally Posted by ishereal

Wow. So I went to interview a potential babysitter today and I was giving her some info about my son and how to care for him. I told her that because he is not circumcised that there is no need to retract his foreskin because you can hurt him. At that point she asked why I didn't circ him I told her it was genital mutilation then she asked will I circ him in the future I said no and she asked me "well what about the diseases he can get" I said like what then she proceeded to tell me about this older man she knew that had to get circ for whatever reason and about hiw painful and horrible it was. At that point in my mind the interview was over, but I sat there on auto pilot. I was sooooo unprepared for that and she even offered to get me some info on it Other than that she was a nice lady and a nice in home daycare.... I want to give her some info on staying intact and I am curious as to exactly what diseases she is talking about, maybe I will have the strength to ask her next time :

A an intactivist THESE are the situations where you need to be at work, yet at this point sending her information now is also good. Remember this is probably the ONLY time she will get the correct information.

She probably does not even know what diseases she is talking about. But STD's and cancers. You need to tell her that in countries where circumcision is almost non-existant STD rates are lower then they are in the United States. You need to explain that a lot of this stuff are just myths and inaccurate information, some of which that gets into the medical system causing harm to many intact men, an example of that is the old man she knows or heard of who got circumcised.

Women get all these same diseases, and infections but they are able to be treated for those problems without having to have anything cut off.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by ishereal

Wow. So I went to interview a potential babysitter today and I was giving her some info about my son and how to care for him. I told her that because he is not circumcised that there is no need to retract his foreskin because you can hurt him. At that point she asked why I didn't circ him I told her it was genital mutilation then she asked will I circ him in the future I said no and she asked me "well what about the diseases he can get" I said like what then she proceeded to tell me about this older man she knew that had to get circ for whatever reason and about hiw painful and horrible it was. At that point in my mind the interview was over, but I sat there on auto pilot. I was sooooo unprepared for that and she even offered to get me some info on it Other than that she was a nice lady and a nice in home daycare.... I want to give her some info on staying intact and I am curious as to exactly what diseases she is talking about, maybe I will have the strength to ask her next time :

Wow! That lady is incredibly misinformed. 'Boys being born defected' is a cultural phenomenon. Its tragic really.

Circ'd or not, they still need to learn safe sex practices. Just because they went through a cosmetic surgery as a newborn doesn't mean they have on a "Natural Condom". Ever since the (flawed) "Circ to reduce AIDS" studies were being published in American Newspapers by bias circumcised (or have a preference for circ'd partners) journalists. Its become a message to circumcised men, that they're already 'safe' and don't really need to wear a condom.

Regarding the elderly man "having to be circ'd later" doesn't happen in intact countries. Its more likely to happen within the uneducated American Medical (mal)Practice. It will change when your ds is a happy old man one day. Our country will soon abandon this primitive procedure and one day will be a wise intact culture.

THANK YOU WISE MAMA FOR KEEPING YOUR SON SAFE!:

One question, how did you know to leave him intact? If you can stomach it, the next time you see her give her the AAP care guide on intact care. Its really unfortunate that she is caring for children and doesn't know this information. Doesn't MO have one of the highest circ rates? Your ds is incredibly lucky to escape the knife.

[ishereal]

Originally Posted by fruitful womb

One question, how did you know to leave him intact? If you can stomach it, the next time you see her give her the AAP care guide on intact care. Its really unfortunate that she is caring for children and doesn't know this information. Doesn't MO have one of the highest circ rates? Your ds is incredibly lucky to escape the knife.

The decision kind of came with the package KWIM?? I always tried to be crunchy before I became preg and after I decided I was not birthing in a hospital it was sort of a domino effect, and somewhere in there I found MDC and everything kind of fell into place ::

[ishereal]

where are some good places to print pamphlets (i.e. websites). All of the info I have are full web pages and would be overwhelming if I printed them off.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by ishereal

The decision kind of came with the package KWIM?? I always tried to be crunchy before I became preg and after I decided I was not birthing in a hospital it was sort of a domino effect, and somewhere in there I found MDC and everything kind of fell into place ::

That is super awesome! I wish I had given birth out of the hospital with my first child. I had to learn the hard way. I gave birth with the rest of my babies at home and they're intact.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by ishereal

where are some good places to print pamphlets (i.e. websites). All of the info I have are full web pages and would be overwhelming if I printed them off.

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/ is one place. BTW, you should have hired her then she could have seen how trouble free it actually is.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by ishereal

where are some good places to print pamphlets (i.e. websites). All of the info I have are full web pages and would be overwhelming if I printed them off.

Thank you jwhispers! I was just about to post that!

When I get back home tonight I'll search the statement from the AAP on the care for the intact male child. (I should have that booked-marked)Ulness someone here beats me to it.

[~NewMa~]

The last Mothering Magazine had a great article in it about how "circumcision does not prevent HIV". That could be a good start.
I just ran into a similar ?confrontation? about it when a friend of mine was visiting.
I was allowing some "naky time" during a diaper change and she noticed Levi wasn't circumcised and was like "oh Sarah, you're not going to circumcise him? Why?" (shocked, kinda disgusted look to follow comment)
I told her no and asked her why she WOULD circumcise her son.
She said because it would be "cleaner".
I asked if she would cut off her daughters labia for that reason.
She laughed and said "uh oh, here she goes. No, I wouldn't do that. I guess that's true."
That was the end of that conversation...

Good luck presenting your case (so to speak)

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by ~NewMa~

The last Mothering Magazine had a great article in it about how "circumcision does not prevent HIV". That could be a good start.
I just ran into a similar ?confrontation? about it when a friend of mine was visiting.
I was allowing some "naky time" during a diaper change and she noticed Levi wasn't circumcised and was like "oh Sarah, you're not going to circumcise him? Why?" (shocked, kinda disgusted look to follow comment)
I told her no and asked her why she WOULD circumcise her son.
She said because it would be "cleaner".
I asked if she would cut off her daughters labia for that reason.
She laughed and said "uh oh, here she goes. No, I wouldn't do that. I guess that's true."
That was the end of that conversation...

Good luck presenting your case (so to speak)

Hey perhaps you got the wheels turning.

[JERENAUD]

Originally Posted by ishereal

I said like what then she proceeded to tell me about this older man she knew that had to get circ for whatever reason and about hiw painful and horrible it was. :

I keep hearing this is as a reason to circ.. but of all of them, it makes the least sense to me. If something is terribly painful for a grownup, WHY ON EARTH WOULD I DO IT TO A BABY?

I know that I'm preaching to the choir here, but I just get really frustrated by the lack of logic in that statement!

Erica

[ishereal]

Originally Posted by jwhispers

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/ is one place. BTW, you should have hired her then she could have seen how trouble free it actually is.

I actually just hired her. I told her I will bring her some info on it tomorrow when she meets my LO !!!

[ishereal]

Thanks Everyone!!

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by ishereal

I actually just hired her. I told her I will bring her some info on it tomorrow when she meets my LO !!!

HA! that's interesting. Perhaps you will plant a seed and turn her around. Here is another link: http://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/

[cherri0196]

Wow im sorry she was so misinformed and went on and on about it, how foolish she must have looked!

Im lucky that my babysitter is Spanish and "they" just don't believe in it and she know's better then to retract (THANK GOD) so lucky i don't have any issues

Best of luck to you on finding an intact friendly baby sitter!!

[Ironica]

You can tell her that the man she knows who had to have his foreskin amputated later on probably did have a good reason. After all, if you get an MRSA infection in your skin, you often have to have that skin removed, and if it goes too deep, you may have to amputate the limb it's on. Gangrene also requires amputation to treat. And bodyparts that aren't essential to life, such as the appendix or the tonsils, can be removed due to infection as well. We can even take out one non-functional kidney and go on about life pretty normally.

Which does NOT mean that we take a knife to our newborns and remove their appendix, tonsils, and a kidney just to prevent infections!

The difference in STD transmission rates isn't enough to offset the risks of the surgical procedure, ESPECIALLY since basic safe sex practices (always use a condom, remain sexually monogamous with your partner, etc.) are way, way, WAY more effective. It's like saying that someone who lives in a tall building should always put on a parachute before going out on the balcony, just in case they manage to leap over the railing.

[hakunangovi]

Actualy, I disagree. That old man very likely did NOT need to be circumcised. The only valid reasons are Gangrene, Frostbite or Cancer, and I highly doubt he was suffering from any of these. Infections are cured with antibiotics.

In non-circumcising cultures it is very rare for an intact adult to actualy NEED a circumcision. I believe that in Scandinavian countries the rate is in the order of six in a million. That poor old man was just one more victim of the screwed up and uninformed U.S. medical system.