need help with my guilt

[margene]

I have a 12 year boy who I think hates me. I have been a yeller when it comes to my kids. I realized this was affecting him poorly a couple years ago so I'v made an effort to curb my yelling. When I have to say something three times I do still find myself yelling but it's not as often as it used to be. This may have been verbal abuse but I never called him names or put him down. He keeps telling me that I'm always yelling at him which makes me mad because I don't think I'm doing it that much anymore. I think he sees me as this total b**** and this bothers me. I think my constant guilt over mistakes I'v made in the past are keeping me from being a better parent. Any advice on how to stop feeling guilty?

[margene]

guilt

I wanted to add some things to my post. Reasons why I think he has hostility towards me: We may be goofing around playful wrestling, starts out playful, he becomes aggressive like he wants to hurt me. He's not an agressive kid. He's sensitive and kinda passive. He says things to me like "I would kick you in the face" then say he's just kidding. Just wondering what other people's thoughts about this are.

[CerridwenLorelei]

really don't have advice much

I use to yell a lot too when I was a sp and have spent years trying to undo the damage so to speak. I wish I had known about AP all those years ago. My oldest is 16..
I am a bit worried about the wanting to kick you in the face though...not something to say then turn around and say just kidding

Is there something else deeper going on or perhaps just preteen angst and not knowing where to place/put those feelings??