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I need support :(

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I have been parenting my step son since he was 3 and in his life from 2. he is going to be 6 in Nov.

anyways he is autistic but the only thing differnt about him is he can only say a few words. I have done everything for him from enrolling him in speech therapy, taking him to his 1st well child appointment in 3 years, and putting him in school. i even got his dad custody of him. (im with his dad) but i feel like he hates me! He only goes to his moms house for 2 days a weekend and when he comes home he hides from me and yells at me. he never listens to me and is very disrespectful. hes always so happy to see his mom and is hardly ever happy to see me! we susspect his mom of abuse and know she uses drugs even in front of DSS but can afford a lawer to take him away from her and have called CPS on her many times for DSS comeing home with black eyes, welts on his bottom, and stitches in his head. even nuckle marks on his body. i just dont understand why half the time he hates my guts! yes i know im the only one who disiplines him and makes him eat food, and limits him on video games but i dont think i should get the disrespect from him cuz im the only one who cares! (his dad does but sleeps all day and works all night so dosnt see him much other than lunch time) im just depressed cuz today i took his backpack to school becasue he got on the bus from his moms and he hid from me behind the teacher and screamed..he probably didnt want to leave school but i just wish i could get loved back more than when i give him a toy or a video game...
post #2 of 12
post #3 of 12
Lots of .
post #4 of 12
That sounds really hard.

For what its worth, you are probably the one he feels safest showing all the anger he has bottled up. He probably doesn't dare show it to his mom. You are the safe, loving one in his life, it sounds like, and when he comes home from visiting her, he's got a whole lot of emotion he needs to get out.

Its really wonderful how you are advocating for his safety by calling CPS, etc. Don't give up... it takes a while, but CPS eventually does act.
post #5 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie View Post

For what its worth, you are probably the one he feels safest showing all the anger he has bottled up. He probably doesn't dare show it to his mom. You are the safe, loving one in his life, it sounds like, and when he comes home from visiting her, he's got a whole lot of emotion he needs to get out.

Exactly what I was going to say. He knows he can get out all the things he isn't able to express in words with you and not experience any abuse from you.


I know routine changes are really hard for my son who is also on the spectrum. If his dad and I split up and he had to go there every other weekend I'm sure he would yell and scream and go crazy on me when he came home just because he was so upset by the change in his routine and is thinking something like "why are you letting this happen to me mama?"
post #6 of 12
I am so sorry!
post #7 of 12
post #8 of 12
I agree with the pp, he probably feels safest with you. I'm often the target of my ds' anger. Also having to live two places is hard. I have primary custody of my kids and dad has very liberal visitation. they don't stay overnight yet though. They don't want to and we are fortunate enough to both want what's best for them. Even so it's hard for them to adjust back and forth.
post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 
thanks everyone..today was really rough when i went to get him off the bus (he got on at his moms) he yelled shut up alot and screamed...but then i dropped him off at my moms and he had a blast there while i was shopping and when i got back he yelled "Stacy" and threw his arms around me and hugged me..it was nice :
post #10 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemybabies924 View Post
thanks everyone..today was really rough when i went to get him off the bus (he got on at his moms) he yelled shut up alot and screamed...but then i dropped him off at my moms and he had a blast there while i was shopping and when i got back he yelled "Stacy" and threw his arms around me and hugged me..it was nice :


I am so happy to read this update!

I was also going to say the same thing as the other posters. He probably feels safe with you so he can express all of the ugly stuff. He knows you will still be there to love him no matter what.

My (typical) DD does this same thing. She can treat me pretty bad some days. I never see her act this way with anyone else. She just feels safe with me and she knows I love her no matter what.
post #11 of 12
You might want to post this in blended and stepfamily parenting. What you're describing is VERY common and is definitely not limited to kids with special needs.

I'm a stepmom, too, and I know exactly how much it hurts to do everything for a child who saves all the love for mom and dad.
post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
thanks everyone..you have NO IDEA how much stress it has taken off of me to look at it differently that he feels safe with me! i feel so much better!
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