Postpartum Mamas: How is everyone?

[Charmie981]

How's everone doing now that baby's here? Nursing going okay? How is your diaper system working out? How do you feel? How are siblings adjusting?

[Charmie981]

Okay, so I'll admit, I posted it because I needed it .

Silas is 5 days old today. My milk came in fully today, he's not nursing as well as I want him to, he's inconsolable for about three hours every night starting somewhere between 12 and 2, and it's impossible for me to sleep when he sleeps because I have two other children and a husband who has to go back to work tomorrow, but has been working outside on his truck for the last 4 days, so it's not like anything'll be that different anyway.

I am my own worst client: I have been doing laundry and dishes and all of the things that I tell my clients NOT to do because, well...it's not going to get done any other way, now is it? I finally switched to disposables because we only had one wrap and 12 prefolds that fit the kiddo and it was just too much to try to keep up with. My new prefolds and more wraps showed up today, so I'm prepping them and hoping to be back in cloth after his cord falls off (the cloth was keeping the cord stump really wet and it was gooey and bleeding, so that was another strike against it for now...since we've done sposies today his cord stump has dried out a LOT and looks just about ready to fall off tomorrow or the next day).

I feel *great* physically and am trying not to do too much (ha!) and end up having a setback. I did that with DS2 and at about 10 days really started to feel like I'd been asking too much of my body. But I was not doing housework...I was running around and doing stuff outside of the house. This time I'm trying to leave the house when I start to feel crazy (I rode around with DH while he ran errands today just so I could see some sunlight!), but not to *do* much when I do leave the house, if that makes sense.

Emotionally, I'm having a hard time with the fact that he's here. I feel like the nursing issues, jaundice and weird sleep patterns might be easier to handle if he was term. But since he wasn't and since it was an issue with my body that many people will argue is prevetable through dietary measures, I feel like I've somehow wronged him and every little thing that he suffers with is my fault. I'm also really, really, really bummed that I didn't get to do all of the things I wanted to do, like take my maternity pictures, which were scheduled for the day after he was born, or get DH to henna my belly, which we were going to do after the maternity pics. The last picture I have of my belly is when we cast it about a week and a half before he was born . And the belly cast, which is really thin and fragile, is still sitting in my closet waiting for DH to get around to it. I worry that something will happen to it and I'll lose that last connection that I have to my pregnancy, which feels cut short.

Then I feel weird because I'm such a mess about not being pregnant anymore...usually I'm *very* done being pregnant and the only thing I think about pp is "I'm so glad I'm not pregnant anymore." It's really weird to me to feel differently this time . I also wonder about baby #4 and if I'm going to go through this whole drama again in a subsequent pregnancy. It wouldn't be enough to keep me from having a baby #4, by any means, but I'd really like to be a midwife who has had a homebirth herself, KWIM?

Baby is sleeping as I write this, so I'd better go try to get some sleep while he's not having his fussy time .

[ehunter27]

I think most postpartum folks are off the page for a few days...
But I did want to offer my support.
Sounds like your beautiful little one came earlier than you anticipated. How is he doing, by the way, nursing wise?
Sorry you couldn't take those photos. We haven't done any, but last night at about 2 a.m. I started thinking I'd like some belly shots. Guess I have a couple days left...our due date is the 16th, and she is still moving around a lot. However, lots and lots of BH contractions.
Anyway, I hope you can get some rest and that your little one continues to fair well. HOw are your other children coping? Are they happy to have a new baby brother?

[Charmie981]

Oh, yeah, I expect this to be a much slower thread than the others . We had a better night last night...I think he liked having milk instead of wasting his effort for a little bit of colostrum because he would wake, nurse, and sleep, every two hours or so, which is GREAT compared to what we were doing.

He's still super sleepy (which is why I can post as much as I am...he's in front of the window getting his daily dose a phototherapy), but the jaundice appears to be abating finally. And it's really amazing what a good night's sleep can do for mama...last night was probably the best night's sleep I've had in two months. Ahh...that's one of the joys of not being pregnant anymore.

[winginit]

Oh Charlotte...I just wish I could come give you a huge hug. And seriously mama, what are you doing all that stuff for...it really can wait!!

My postpartum has been tough, but for different reasons. I've been very lucky in that hubby has been home and super helpful and my mother-in-law is here helping out with the kids and there's been non-stop food coming to our house (BTW...I've never had this kind of help with the other two and IT IS WONDERFUL!).

My little guy was born early Saturday morning HUNGRY! He literally nursed for 36 straight hours, with small "oh my god save my breasts moments, you'll have to scream your head off for a moment", and he did NOT SLEEP for that whole time. His mission was accomplished when my milk came in before the end of day 2, and he finally became a lot more "normal" feeding every two hours and then sleeping in between. AHHHH.....

The downside, my nipples, which have cracked with the other two (despite teaching people how to breastfeed), were in super bad shape by day 2. Each feed is beyond painful (not just the beginning, the whole thing), but I know that this just takes me a few days to get over...(now I've got to remember to tell myself this over and over again).

I'm also super engorged (hmmm....wonder why), and that is its own wonderful experience. I'm using the stuff I know to work for engorgement, but again...just another time thing.

I figure in 2 days my perineum will be feeling much better, my nipples will have healed, and the engorgement will pass....and then WOOHOO. I tell you...I've been dreading the postpartum period...to me the birth is nothing compared to the week after.

Take care of yourselves new mums and good luck with all the upcoming births, I can't wait to read about them!!!

Now off for a little epsom salt bath!

[stephck]

I was wondering where the postpartum mommies were....

Frances is one week old and doing great. Last night I think I got over two hours of sleep in one chunk. It was AMAZING. Generally, she's fussy from 9pm to 1am or so and eats every 2 hours or so the rest of the time. She likes to do nursing marathons and eat for an hour and half at a time.

My breasts are holding up--milk came in Sat/Sun (days 4/5) and now my breasts are feeling soft again. Nipples are doing OK. We're working on sidelying because my perineum is still pretty darn sore. We need to keep working on it.

My mother has been here in Seattle (she lives in LA and made it just in time for delivery) taking GREAT care of us. I feel so fortunate to have her. She cooks, cleans and has stocked my freezer. She leaves Thursday. I hope I'm ready

I learned I can't have two different groups of visitors at once--way too much "hosting" to be done.

I cry every day. I call it getting the weepies. I just look at her beautiful little face and can't believe we made her. DH has been super supportive and just holds me.

Hope all the mommies and babies are doing OK
-Steph

[elisheva]

We're doing well. I had still been sore and afraid to tear my stitches, but the midwife pronounced them "almost healed" yesterday and said the pain was likely from the skid marks I have.

I'm tandem nursing, so my milk came in almost exactly 48 hrs after he was born. Tandeming has been hard, but we're working out a rhythm. Ds1 has been very understanding about letting the baby have bubbies on his own until we get nursing established. Then, of course, when baby is sleeping, ds1 wants to nurse all the time because the milk is finally back (instead of the colostrum he put up with for 5 months .

Emotionally I get the weepies, too. I mourn the fact that I'm not oregnant anymore, but I am thrilled that ds2 is here. I am SO thrilled with my birth experience, yet I'm feeling a bit sad about moving on from that dream.

BTW, Charlotte, I can totally identify with your feelings of guilt - I felt the same way after ds1 when I was induced for PIH and it ended in c/s. Then he was in the NICU for 48 hrs with hypoglycemia and the dr had the cajones to say to me, "this wouldn't have happened if you had taken the gd screening". Yeah, that's what a postpartum mum needs to hear. She was a total UAV.

s We all do the very best we can given the myriad of things life throws at us at once. Our "best" may not be the same as the "best" of the person next to us because they may have drastically different (and easier) circumstances. Try not to beat yourself up. There's no firm evidence that pre-e can be prevented with diet - some studies show yes and some show no. More s

Off to make bread. I was so out-of-commission after ds1's birth (didn't really get out of bed for a month) that I am determined to bounce back this time. My sanity is worth any extra fatigue my body might feel

[ryansma]

I'm here! Zane was born on the 4th so we are 5 days pp. He is a good nurser but I think he hates Lansinoh which is bad news because my nipples look like hamburger. He was latching quickly and effectively but now that my milk is in he seems to be taking a lot longer.
I have a small labial tear that is healing okay but is excruciating when I pee. Not fun. I basically have to put my hands on the ground and not sit so the pee doesn't hit it. Yeah, good times.:
My dh is doing so much but I am still going a little crazy. His idea of clean and mine are a little different.

[xochimama]

Charlotte, STOP doing everything!!!

Paper plates, plastic forks/knives= no more (or fewer) dishes. That is at least one thing that can be eliminated.

Laundry: your dh and the older kids can figure out their stuff. Really. It's totally ok if they wear the same clothes for a few days in a row for what, a week? two weeks? It's OK! Just let this stuff GO.

Friends/Family/Former Clients of Yours?? It's time to call in all the favors and ask for some help. A load of laundry, a wipe down of the bathroom, some dishes. Really, just one hour of a trusted friend's time will do wonders for the household while you rest.

You need time to take care of yourself and baby...please take that time!! And you know how quickly this goes by... cherish it!! Free time (aka when baby isn't nursing, needing a change, etc.) is time for you to sleep, take a warm bath, or WRITE about all the other emotional stuff-- the guilt, frustration, etc. You have GOT to claim this time and space for yourself.

I know, I know, it's easier said than done...be gentle with yourself. Mother yourself, too, ok?

[elisheva]

Originally Posted by ryansma

I'm here! Zane was born on the 4th so we are 5 days pp. He is a good nurser but I think he hates Lansinoh which is bad news because my nipples look like hamburger. He was latching quickly and effectively but now that my milk is in he seems to be taking a lot longer.
I have a small labial tear that is healing okay but is excruciating when I pee. Not fun. I basically have to put my hands on the ground and not sit so the pee doesn't hit it. Yeah, good times.:
My dh is doing so much but I am still going a little crazy. His idea of clean and mine are a little different.

My midwife told me to use a peri-bottle when peeing to prevent the sting - start squirting just before you start to pee...peeing in the shower works well, too

[ryansma]

Originally Posted by elisheva

My midwife told me to use a peri-bottle when peeing to prevent the sting - start squirting just before you start to pee...peeing in the shower works well, too

Yeah, I was doing that the first few days but it just doesn't cut it now. I actually have a whole thread going on other options. My recent thing is to put my hands on the floor and not really sit so the pee doesn't hit the tear. Good times - acrobatic peeing.

In other news our new little guy slept so good last night. I am actually in shock. He is more of a "gourmet" nurser than my first so I guess that means longer stretches of sleep early. He slept from 10:30 to 3 and then 3:45 - 7 am. It actually felt kind of weird, like I was doing something wrong.
Ry didn't do that until like 2 j/k but it felt that way.

[xochimama]

NAK
I'm here, too! We are doing pretty well.

Nursing is going great: my little guy—born 4 Sept—regained his birth weight by Day 5. Lots of leakage, of course, but heh, I'll take that over painful engorgement, which took FOREVER to subside w/ DD1, no matter how much I nursed...

No perineal tears (again, different from dd1) so no burning pee! YEA! Some uncomfortable...**tmi**...hemorrhoids but really, nothing too bad. No need for Colace yet. I'm sitting in warm shallow water at least once/day, using Tucks, etc. And eating really really well: lots of greens and other high fiber, high iron foods. So actually taking pretty good care of myself.

I am resting resting resting. My mw was really adamant about not doing anything. She came over on Monday to check us again, and brought a wonderful book: After Baby's Birth, A Woman's Guide to Wellness. It is comforting, informative and uplifting—sort of like a wise elder woman who gently reminds me of why and how to take care of myself...

The house is a mess (by my standards) but I don't care... I love being with my baby right now and eventually it will all get done. DH took this week off from work (sort of--he still has to go teach a couple hours here and there), and he is doing pretty well with all the chores and care of dd1. We are getting meals delivered MWF by my network of mother blessing friends, so that is a HUGE HUGE HUGE help.

DD1 is...well...sensitive these days. It's a big adjustment. The hardest part is when I've had to quickly intervene with "No!" or "Careful!" or "Watch OUT!" as she hops around the bed with baby Isaac's tiny little head just seconds away from getting squashed. She actually did step on him once -- it happened really fast, and I sort of pushed her over onto the pillow so that her full weight wouldn't land on his head. Of course she fell apart, I felt bad...you can imagine the scenario. It was all fine in the end—she understood, but still, it was hard.

Now here's my downer:
I am dealing with anger and disappointment over the "help" that we had lined up for the birth and immediate pp days: my mother. She traveled 1000 miles to help us out. She read books. We sent emails. We talked about the birth. I really thought she understood where we were coming from and what we wanted and needed.
When it came time, during labor, for her to show up and give us a hand with DD1 (she was supposed to be DD1's facilitator/guide for the birth itself) she completely bailed on us. I was 7cm dilated and in labor, called her saying it was time, and she responded, "I'm eating dinner now." It got worse from there. She went on to say "IF I come, I need you to respect how I handle DD1." I was thinking WTF??? It just deteriorated from there. A different friend came for DD1 and I was able to reclaim the birth space and experience that I wanted (a near miracle, frankly, considering the enormity of the cr*p that my mother pulled).
So my baby was born that night, just after midnight. The next morning my mother informed me that she was leaving THAT DAY. She changed her plane tickets, hotel reservations, and LEFT THE DAY I NEEDED HER THE MOST. She went on to rant and rave to my sister about how she traveled all this way and then I excluded her from the birth, how she may as well have taken a vacation to Mexico, how DD1 has "severe behavioral problems", etc. etc. etc..... UNFING believable.

[side note on DD1 and Mom: she did not warm to my mother AT ALL. My mom is a very stern/serious woman who followed dd1 around telling her what to do and what not to do. She tried to forcibly hold dd1 down for a nap one day and was offended when DH stepped in. WTF is that?? Physically restrain a 3 year old child so that you can take a nap together??? I am so angry about this. Her conclusion?? We are too permissive and dd1 has "severe behavioral problems". OMG-- I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about this.]

Wow, sorry this post turned into such a lengthy rant I'm journaling and trying to focus on the present to heal this wound...

[Charmie981]

Time to bump this thread.

I'm doing better. I got my two new hotslings in the mail today. OMG, I like them so much better than my older ring sling (and I thought I really liked my ring sling!). We went to Target to get some much-needed breakfast and lunch food before Ike's remains hit us and Silas was comfy cozy in the sling the whole time. I loved it, especially when I got to the checkout and in the line next to me there was a lady with a similarly small baby in a carseat/carrier, screaming her head off while the lady tried to unload her cart. Ahh...so glad that wasn't me.

I do wish, though, that this kiddo could tell me what it is that he wants from 2-6 or 8am when he won't sleep and does nothing but wiggle and grunt. He doesn't fuss, but doesn't nurse, doesn't settle, doesn't cuddle, doesn't need a diaper (or maybe he does, but changing it fixes nothing), doesn't want to be swaddled...you get my drift. I wouldn't say he's inconsolable, but definitely unsettled. And it makes me darned near inconsolable! : He doesn't do it every night, either, though, which makes me wonder if it's something I'm eating or what.

And he's snoozing away in the sling right now (as he has been almost all day), making me worry that we'll in for another 2-6am awake time. GRR!

I'm also really glad to report that my BP is normal now and that I'm down 24 out of the 25 pounds I gained in pregnancy. Now I just have 41 more to go to be at a healthy weight! :

[chels_c2000]

Things are going ok here. James was born on the 7th. Today is day 6. He is sleeping pretty well but I am finding myself frustarted with nursing today. He seems to become frustrated when it is time to nurse and he wants to latch and relatch over and over again until he finally decides to nurse. I don't know if this is normal or if he isn't liking my milk. I feel bad for him because the whole time he is frustrated I am leaking milk all over him.

I am so excited he is here but a little overwelmed. He came early and I feel like I was not complete prepared mentally for him to be here. Today is my birthday and I have been really emotional.

[Alcyone]

Day 4 for us and things are well. She's actually letting me sleep 4 or 5 hours at a time at night which is better than I've had in months! She's been nursing like a champ since the first time I offered. I'm recovering well too. I got out of bed by myself this morning, though neither quickly or easily. I can get in and out of chairs too. My mom is here until Wednesday and DH has 5 more weeks of leave. They've both been awesome!

She really resists sleeping on her back though. She's mostly been lying on my chest which makes me a bit nervous at night but nothing else seems to work.

We haven't really started ECing yet. The unexpected c/s really threw us for a loop but I'm hoping to be able to devote time to that soon. In the meantime DH has been handling CD since he is more mobile and he has no complaints!

[ryansma]

Originally Posted by Charmie981

Time to bump this thread.

I'm doing better. I got my two new hotslings in the mail today. OMG, I like them so much better than my older ring sling (and I thought I really liked my ring sling!). We went to Target to get some much-needed breakfast and lunch food before Ike's remains hit us and Silas was comfy cozy in the sling the whole time. I loved it, especially when I got to the checkout and in the line next to me there was a lady with a similarly small baby in a carseat/carrier, screaming her head off while the lady tried to unload her cart. Ahh...so glad that wasn't me.

I am so glad to hear you like your Hotsling Charlotte. I ordered one too but haven't tried it yet. We have been using the Sleepywrap almost every day since Zane was born. I wore him in it to Target too, gotta love Target, and was so glad to not be lugging a bucket

Originally Posted by chels_c2000

Things are going ok here. James was born on the 7th. Today is day 6. He is sleeping pretty well but I am finding myself frustarted with nursing today. He seems to become frustrated when it is time to nurse and he wants to latch and relatch over and over again until he finally decides to nurse. I don't know if this is normal or if he isn't liking my milk. I feel bad for him because the whole time he is frustrated I am leaking milk all over him.

I am so excited he is here but a little overwelmed. He came early and I feel like I was not complete prepared mentally for him to be here. Today is my birthday and I have been really emotional.

Chels, it sounds like you might be too engorged for your little guy to get a good latch - hard to latch on to a beach ball You might try Reverse Pressure Softening or pumping a little bit to soften the breast before putting him on. Good luck and happy belated birthday!!

We are doing well. Baby Z had his newborn pictures taken yesterday. She came to the house and spent about and hour and a half. I think she got some really good ones so I am excited to see how they turn out. He is nursing great but doesn't like falling asleep for me if he is at all fussy. Dh can walk him around and gives him a pinky to suck on and he is a happy baby.
Dh even took him last night while he watched the game (sad sad Buckeye fans we are) and I slept baby free for 3 1/2 hours. I got some good cuddle time in with ds1 so that was nice. I think we both needed it. My mil lis supposed to come today and I hope to recruit her to help me clean. We'll see how that goes though. She is more of a "I am helping you by holding the baby right?" type...

[ShiningStar]

Glad things are going better Charlotte. I haven't been on in awhile, but I was also wondering how everyone else was doing pp.

Zara is 9 days old today. Nursing started out well even though she was a pretty sleepy baby the first few days. She actually gained back her birth weight. That made adjusting go a little better. In the last few days, she's been staying awake a little bit more. Last night was the first night getting her to sleep was a real chore, but it hasn't gotten crazy yet.

My oldest daughter is still being really sweet to her little sister. I've had either dh or MIL here with me the first few days, though. I'm a little worried how dd1 will do when it's just the two of us with the baby. I'm hoping having to share my attention won't be too rough on her. Right now she definitely wants to be held and cuddled more, but seems okay overall.

My healing is going well. Stitches aren't as painful and I've been resting well. My swelling finally went down . I don't even recognize my ankles and feet. The only issue is my hips/pelvis still feel like I'm pregnant. The joints in my hands sometime hurt as well. I'm not sure if thats pregnancy related or not. With the nursing I was surprised (didn't remember from first) about the lymph nodes in arm pits swelling. That felt really weird, but lactation consultant said it was normal.

Having some issues figuring out either my sling or hotsling. I didn't start wearing dd until she was four months. I hope to practice that some today when Zara is awake and in a good mood.

[Charmie981]

Originally Posted by chels_c2000

He seems to become frustrated when it is time to nurse and he wants to latch and relatch over and over again until he finally decides to nurse. I don't know if this is normal or if he isn't liking my milk. I feel bad for him because the whole time he is frustrated I am leaking milk all over him.

My theory on this is that it has to do with overactive letdown. Silas does it too, and it seems like he nurses just enough to get a letdown, then pops on and off a few sucks at a time to avoid the FLOOD of milk, then once it subsides, he latches on and nurses really well for about 10 minutes.

[Belia]

Hi mamas-

I'm 4 and a half WEEKS postpartum, which is longer than many of you, but haven't been around much (gee, wonder why?)

Physically I'm good. Barely bleeding anymore- that seemed like it took forever. Just when I thought things were over I'd get another gush. Yuck. And the skid marks were way worse than the tear in terms of healing. My postpartum healing has been easier than I expected, but taken longer.

Colin is nursing like a champ- he's gained a pound a week for the past 3 weeks, so he's now up to 10 lbs 4 oz (as of 5 days ago). I'm actually a little worried that he's gaining too fast. I have quite the overactive letdown, but he's coping well.

I did great with the lack of sleep for about 3 weeks, then had a total meltdown. I was just crying and crying "I don't want the baby anymore- can we give him back? Or to someone who knows how to take care of him good?" Like a PP said- he wasnt crying or even fussing much- just grunting and wiggling and unsettled most of the night.

At 4 weeks I started pumping again so now my DH is doing the early morning feeding before he goes to work. That gives me a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep if all goes well right when I need it, because I'm a night owl anyway. And we've been trying to interact with him more in the evenings (7-10 pm) so that he sleeps more overnight. It seems to be working a bit better.

My biggest concern: I'm not a very good attachment mama. I set him down in the bouncy seat all the time- he loves the vibration. I also haul him around in the bucket because I have a ring sling but don't know how to use it!!!!! When DH and I experimented with it a couple of weeks ago it was a disaster- I almost dropped him out the bottom. I couldn't get it comfortable at all or figure out how to tighten it correctly. Right now he's sleeping in his crib- I laid him there after nursing so I could pump and he feel asleep, and I didn't want to move him. I didn't think I would use the crib at all!!

I don;t know much about AP- just what I have picked up from browsing around MDC- I thought I'd have time to read a book after baby, but not so much- but I feel guilty whenever I set him down. Is that right?

[sarbear]

Originally Posted by Belia

My biggest concern: I'm not a very good attachment mama. I set him down in the bouncy seat all the time- he loves the vibration. I also haul him around in the bucket because I have a ring sling but don't know how to use it!!!!! When DH and I experimented with it a couple of weeks ago it was a disaster- I almost dropped him out the bottom. I couldn't get it comfortable at all or figure out how to tighten it correctly. Right now he's sleeping in his crib- I laid him there after nursing so I could pump and he feel asleep, and I didn't want to move him. I didn't think I would use the crib at all!!

I don;t know much about AP- just what I have picked up from browsing around MDC- I thought I'd have time to read a book after baby, but not so much- but I feel guilty whenever I set him down. Is that right?

It can be hard at first to figure out the baby wearing thing. It gets easier as they get a bit older and can hold their head up, etc. You won't feel as much like you're going to hurt them by experimenting with different positions in the sling, and different slings or wraps.
I think that AP means listening to your baby and your instincts. If your baby is crying and you think he's hungry, nurse him. If he wants to be held, hold him. If he is happy to be put down, then don't feel guilty about putting him down, you need a break too. Co-sleeping is a part of AP that is just usually easier for all involved if breastfeeding is happening.
Hang in there, it sounds like you are doing great