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Is He Okay????

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I can't believe it never occured to me that this would happen, but at my son's 18 month checkup yesterday, all of a sudden the ped retracted my son's foreskin--once to see if it would and immediately again to show me that I should clean it!!! I had NO idea that he might do that as he was so congratulatory about not having him circumcised when I first started going there. He had not done anything like that before, so I was totally unprepared.

Is he okay? He seemed uncomfortable when it happend (but he was also fighting the whole exam anyway--ears, etc.) so maybe (I hope) he wasn't. He seems ok today and I've been checking to see if there's redness, etc. Is there anything I should be concerned about or looking for?

I KNEW I had read on here that one should just wait until it retracts on its own (well, with ds's help!). When is that? 3, 4, 5?

Also, my son has always had super sensitive skin, so I don't bathe him every night. I DO wipe with water at every diaper change and use sensitive skin soap and water for a good, soapy all-over-diaper-area cleaning before bed and in the morning. Is this enough? He gets a shower with daddy on Fridays and Sundays (pre-church).


post #2 of 12

What is wrong with those Pediatricians?

Do we really have to educate them one by one?
Please print out the following link and hand it to your ped and tell him to inform himself.


Make sure you do not retract your son, nor clean under his foreskin and most importantly, inform the ped that he has no business touching your son's penis unless you tell him to do so.

Does that ped go around touching his female patients labia, clitoris, pry open her vagina to clean inside? :
What is wrong with those peds? :

To retract the child prematurely will cause aquired phimosis. That means with every retraction the foreskin suffers little tears and those tears will cause scar tissue to form. Scar tissue is not elastic and will prevent the foreskin from retracting naturally. Then the foreskin is damaged and may have to be removed.

Do not let anyone retract him again. It has to be done by the child himself.

Care of the intact penis-



Forced retraction-

post #3 of 12
Hi Roxanne,
So sorry your doctor lost his mind on you!
Your baby sounds perfectly clean to me, but I think most American babies are way 'overwashed' anyhow and smell more like perfumes and chemicals than real babies.

We always put our babies in the tub once or twice a week at the most--usually with one of us, and only in clear water until they were old enough to insist on anything else.
Same thing with diaper-time.
We rinsed them in the sink with clear water after a bowel movement, and again thoroughly before we put them in a 'night diaper.'
Now, at 2 & 5, they do want to use bubblebath, etc. but I really limit this to once a week and only use pure olive oil soap otherwise.
No antibacterial soap in this house!

Were I you, I'd stop checking his foreskin and just leave him alone.
What you are doing currently re. washing is just fine.
If in doubt, just sit him in the tub in clear water and he will naturally clean himself as much or as little as necessary.
As far as I'm concerned, all this business of wanting little boys to clean their foreskins makes as much sense as saying little grls should douche regularly.
All nonsense!
A good, clear-water soak once or twice a week is plenty.
For the record, my intact husband only washes with clear water.
Sensitive skin is sensitive skin!
Everytime we see our pediatrician or the nurse, I tell them before the diaper even comes off, "He is intact and we do not want you to retract his foreskin in any way."
If questioned, I just repeat my mantra.
If they know, they won't take offense at all, and if they don't, they get a clear message on what we expect.
Our favorite nurse always said, "Oh, I don't need to check his penis at all--just his testicles," but hasn't even needed to do that since he was about one.
post #4 of 12
Chances are, your son will be fine. Just don't let it happen again! (As I'm sure you know!) I know how upsetting it is, though, since I had a similar experience at my son's 2 mo. check-up!

Your son will retract on his own when he can--it could be 5, 6, or much older than that.
post #5 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the replies. Thank you Gitti for the links. I printed them out for my husband to read, too. Why, oh why didn't I read this before? I knew that things were fine just left alone, but it never occured to me to make SURE that the doctor wouldn't do that. I'm really ticked about it! I just wasn't prepared for the suddeness of it--every other exam has just been a checking of the testicles and hip sockets, etc. He didn't even give me a chance to protest...

Today the tip is red. I've been putting Burt's Bees on it...is that a good idea? What should I do?


post #6 of 12
hello there,

i am glad that you posted this topic here, 'cause yesterday a doctor did this to my 3 month old son too! and today, he is red and irritated down there! gar. thanks for all the info posted here though everyone.
take care.
post #7 of 12
If you are nursing, put some mother's milk on the tip of the penis several times a day. That cures just about everything. I am assuming the tears are small, and the child did not get retracted repeatedly, so more than likely he will heal by himself within a short time.
I do not know about Bee's balm, but let your son go nude whenever possible. Let him soak in the tub without soap or bubble bath. The foreskin will heal again.

Now be prepared:

Send the information from the links to the doctor's office and call to make sure he and his office staff read it before your next visit.

Then, DO NOT TAKE OFF THE DIAPERS before saying "I do not want you to touch my son's penis."

The foreskin tip on an intact penis does (in a fair skinned child) has a reddish color to it. You may just not have noticed it before, but it is not unusual.
My grandson after the age of about 6 months had a reddish tip, and he still does at age 6yrs.

He is now fully retractable, although we never retract him. Once in a great while he will retract the foreskin in the tub and rinse it, but we have never instructed him to do so.
He just finds it funny that he can do it.

Boys do not need to pay special attention to that sort of hygiene until they are teenager at which time they produce a certain hormone that creates specific secreations. And then they will rinse it all by themselves.

No instructions needed!

post #8 of 12


It's a good idea to look at the post:

I swear he is going to pull it OFF!

For future reference.....
post #9 of 12
? My son started retracting his on his own about 3. Do you think that's ok? I never made a big deal about it? He's 4 now and only does it once in a while.
post #10 of 12
Yup! If he's doing it himself, the time has come and he won't harm himself. Mother Nature is pretty smart about this stuff.

post #11 of 12
Originally posted by momsmyjob
? My son started retracting his on his own about 3. Do you think that's ok? I never made a big deal about it? He's 4 now and only does it once in a while.
You betchya! As long as only he does it, it is perfectly normal. And you are right not to make a big deal about it. It's best to totally ignore it.

My grandson used to pull it way out and then push it actually into himself as though he was going to make it disappear. Then he
would twist it and wind it up ready to release with a spin to make me dizzy. After a while I would see him stretch it up to his belly button and hold it there forever.

He was never without his "best friend" and we let him run in the nude all day long.

I know for sure now that that's why he NEVER had a problem with it.

You should see the little boys in Germany at the public swimming pool. They all run naked and they all keep one hand constantly on their penis. Nobody considers it unusual.

That's the way Mother Nature herself designed it and our boys are just following their instincts.

Let your son do what comes naturally!
post #12 of 12
Thanks for the info..Frank and Gitti.. I never encouraged him either way. I just brought him home the way he came into the world and left it at that, he started doing it one day all on his own.
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