"Where are you going to have that baby?"

[panda]

This is the question I get most often when people find out we're planning to labor and birth at home. "In your bed? In the tub? Where?" Is this just me, or do other people get this, too

[Phoebe]

I guess I don't get that response too much. Just because when I say I plan to homebirth I usually follow it up immediatley with a "in a tub of water". THEN come the questions...in the bath tub??? I have to then explain the birhting tub. I told dh's grandma that I could labor on the toilet if I wanted to! That always gets a funny response!

People do seem rather curious about how it's all going to work. How are people asking it? In a rude way or just out of curiosity?

Amy

[rubelin]

it's funny, nobody has asked me this yet (probably cause I'm only 9.5 wks and the people I hang around most are HBers) but I've actually been thinking about it myself. I always figured it would be on the bed, but what if it's the middle of the night and DS is sleeping??? He won't really sleep anywhere else and I want him to have some quiet place if he needs it.

What do you do with older kids if you want to birth in your family bed??

[cottonwood]

Leave him be and give birth somewhere else? I suppose people tend to associate birthing with being in bed because bed is comfortable, and you want to be comfortable when in labor. In fact, with my first birth I assumed (and was not told differently) that bed is simply where one gives birth. (Seen too many movie births, I guess. ) Anyway, for my second and third births we did set up a bed in the labor room (the living room, because we couldn't fit the birth tub into a bedroom) but while actually in labor it did not even occur to me to go to the bed. Ever. I spent a lot of time walking around, lying on the couch, in the birth tub, in the bathroom. But not once did I set foot on that bed. (Which ironically was the only place we waterproofed.)

To answer the OP, I don't think I've *ever* been asked where in the house I'd give birth! In fact, nobody has ever seemed interested in the specifics at all. Which is too bad, because I *love* to talk about it!

[Spark]

Yes, I have been asked that question. When I was pregnant with my first I didn't know how to answer it. I'd hem and haw and say, "Well, we have a birth tub coming and I also waterproofed my bed." But, I wasn't really sure how to answer. In fact, I had my son on the couch not on the bed or the tub. Now, that I'm planning my second homebirth I say, "I'll give birth wherever it feels right. That's one of the benefits of homebirth. I can birth where I want."

I think this question mainly comes from people that are somewhat comfortable with homebirth, but haven't had one themselves. The people that are freaked out by homebirth either seem to say, "Wow, you're brave" or "Can you do that?" or "What does your Dr. say about that?"

The weirdest response I ever got was this conversation:
Mortgage guy: So, where are you delivering?
Me: At home.
Mortgage Guy: What?
Me: We're planning a homebirth.
Mortgage guy: Well...ok. Whatever you do remember this -- get the epidural as soon as you check in. The human body wasn't made to give birth.

I'm not sure what he was thinking. Besides the obvious, ingnorance about what the humban body WAS made to do, I don't know what he wanted me to do. Go home and ask my Golden Retreiver to give me an epidural?!?! (Obviously, we do not have our mortgage through him. Although I've hoped to see him around town and tell him how much I loved and enjoyed giving birth to my son.)

[applejuice]

I never told anyone my plans to have my children at home.

The ones who knew, also knew that they could not do anything about changing my mind - they knew how stubborn I am.

Anyone else, well, that was none of their business. This is my body, my baby, my medical bill. MY DECISION. The one "I"will live with.

[panda]

Sparklin - that's very funny!

People have asked just in a curious way. Overall, I've been surprised an grateful at how supportive everyone's been (even some coworkers who I knew were freaked out by and opposed to homebirth haven't said anything negative about it to me since I told them we're planning one). I guess it's a natural question of mechanics - people can picture birth in the hospital, they probably just want a better picture of homebirth.

I feel sort of shy answering, and I don't really know, anyway. I don't picture myself being in bed, but we will put waterproof sheets on. If I had to guess I'd say on the floor at the end of my bed, or in the birth tub. We don't know where we're setting that up, yet. In the guest room, maybe, or downstairs? I figure I'll probably labor all over the house (and neighborhood). Nice to have choices!

I wonder how people will feel about "the spot" after the birth - if they'll be weirded out to know the couch they're sitting on is where the baby was born.

[Sustainer]

"The human body wasn't made to give birth." That makes a lot of f*%&*# sense. He obviously wasn't able to wrap his brain around the fact that you were giving birth at home, since his response assumed a hospital birth. Guess his brain hadn't "checked in" yet.

The most common response to the revelation that the birth will take place at home is "WHAT?? Are you CRAZY???" My half sister seemed somewhat receptive to the idea, but her first question was "Oh, are you going to have it in the bath tub?" I guess she associates home birth with water birth.

[mamaroni]

For some reason, I seem to have gotten this question a lot, and I guess I assume it will happen in my bed, and that's what I generally say, but who knows!

I guess it's a natural question of mechanics - people can picture birth in the hospital, they probably just want a better picture of homebirth.

I get this feeling as well. People have a hard time wrapping their brain around the concept in general.

I think this question mainly comes from people that are somewhat comfortable with homebirth, but haven't had one themselves. The people that are freaked out by homebirth either seem to say, "Wow, you're brave" or "Can you do that?" or "What does your Dr. say about that?"

Agreed. The other thing that the freaked out people will do, in my experience, is change the subject, quickly!

Regarding the older siblings. . .I have been wondering about that myself. This is another question I get, or statement, as in "Jade and Chandler won't be home, will they???" This really freaks most people out! Honestly, I have no idea what we'll do. I suppose some planning would be prudent, though.

[Greaseball]

Well...ok. Whatever you do remember this -- get the epidural as soon as you check in. The human body wasn't made to give birth.

Maybe he thought you would go to the hospital, get an epidural, and then go straight home?:

I see myself giving birth on the living room floor. We'll see, though.

[bec]

Originally posted by rubelin
What do you do with older kids if you want to birth in your family bed??

I have gotten this a little bit, but it is really more out of curiosity than anything else.

This is the reason I love reading this board! I honestly hadn't thought about what I would do with my sleeping dd if I need to give birth in the middle of the night and she's in our bed (a pretty safe bet)!

Well, I guess I would give birth someplace else then! My urge to not wake her up is extremely strong!

We'll just have to play it by ear, I guess. But at least this has me thinking!


Bec

[rubelin]

I do know that I don't have to use hte bed, I just want to. I like my bed and my bedroom, and our living room isn't as cosy and safe feeling for me (it's really the entire downstairs of the house' the living room, dining room and kitchen are a big great room with no doors in between)

I'm sure it will all work out when the time comes, it's just something to think about to pass the time

[morgan's_mom]

The weirdest response I ever got was this conversation:
Mortgage guy: So, where are you delivering?
Me: At home.
Mortgage Guy: What?
Me: We're planning a homebirth.
Mortgage guy: Well...ok. Whatever you do remember this -- get the epidural as soon as you check in. The human body wasn't made to give birth.

:LOL :LOL :LOL

I can't wait to hear some of the responses I get when I tell my conservative white-shoe law firm coworkers I am planning a homebirth this time. They all thought I was nuts enough when I had my daughter in a FSBC.

[morgan's_mom]

The weirdest response I ever got was this conversation:
Mortgage guy: So, where are you delivering?
Me: At home.
Mortgage Guy: What?
Me: We're planning a homebirth.
Mortgage guy: Well...ok. Whatever you do remember this -- get the epidural as soon as you check in. The human body wasn't made to give birth.

:LOL :LOL :LOL

I can't wait to hear some of the responses I get when I tell my conservative white-shoe law firm coworkers I am planning a homebirth this time. They all thought I was nuts enough when I had my daughter in a FSBC.

[NaturalFamiLEA]

I honestly think it's too bad that people aren't more informed about home birth. I think every pregnant woman should read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" before deciding where to birth. I realize home birth isn't for everyone, but it's for the majority!