For all of us with possible homebirth loss

[dimibella]

Okay mamas it unfortunately seems like a lot of us are in danger of losing our HBs here at the very end, so I thought I would start a little support thread. How far along are you? Why are you in danger of losing your HB? What are you doing to try to keep your homebirth. ( if there is anything you can do) How do you imagine your homebirth? (gotta keep those positive images and vibes) Are you making plans for a hospital birth just in case? How would you like to be supported? (prayer, positive thoughts/vibes/energy, anything else!)

Here's my short story:
I'm 38w 5d and in danger of losing my HB because my blood levels are still too low. My results from last Friday's CBC just came in to day and my hgb was only 9.4, up a tenth of a point atleast.

I've ordered another supplement, hopefully it will be here within the next day or so and hopefully this little one will go past his EDD. Never thought I would be praying for an overdue baby, but I need all the time I can get!

I totally picture a calm, relaxed homebirth. I'll take a shower, do my hair, go to lunch, come home fill up the birthing pool and have a beautiful little boy in my arms. We'll both be strong and healthy. Daddy will get to put his first cute little cloth diaper on him and his little shorties and hat and we'll be a happy family of 5.

I've been avoiding it even thinking about an hospital birth, but will probably make a game plan and pack a bag in the next few days here just in case.

I would love to be in ya'lls thoughts and prayers, ya'll are such a strong group of ladies and know how much a homebirth means to me.

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I'm not one to join this thread, but i can offer support and love and positive homebirth vibes. just wanted to chime in and say i'm here to support all the mama's who chime through here.

[SkyMomma]

Hi Dimibella ~
So sorry for your struggles...I'm sending you vibes & prayers & homebirth blessings. : I'm holding your lovely picture of your homebirth with you.

May you and your baby be healthy. May your birth be peaceful & beautiful, wherever it needs to be. Stay strong, mama.

[funfunkyfantastic]

Hi Everyone, i'm Rachel. I'm 39 weeks and 3 days and possibly losing my homebirth because of high blood pressure. The midwife hasn't scheduled an induction yet, but she has mentioned the very real possibility. She wants me to deliver before my next appointment on tuesday the 16th. She's suggested taking walks each day to try and encourage more stronger contractions (i'm having Braxton Hicks ones consistently but not in any particular pattern). But of course she also wants me resting mostly to bring down my blood pressure.

I'm starting Evening primrose oil to try and ripen my stubborn cervix. I'm also going to try using a breast pump (as suggested to me by one of the doulas at the pregnancy resource center) to see if I can get some contractions. I might also try castor oil... although I don't really want to cus it sounds unpleasant. lol. But, if nothing happens by tomorrow with all that i'm already trying (even been doing the singular dtd... and that hasn't done much for me) then i'll give the icky stuff a try as well.

I envision my perfect homebirth to be a nice day or night (depending on when it all starts) of me relaxing and chattering with my friends and updating all of you on mothering. Then during the harder part of labor just focusing on my breathing and visualizing. Then once my tub arrives, relaxing in the tub and using the water to help ease away some of the pain while I focus on my breathing. Then pushing and bringing my beautiful daughter into the world and pulling her up on my chest and holding her small little form there while I look down at her in love and amazement. My best friends will all be surrounding me as will my mother and dh's mother. And I just know we'll all be in tears over how beautiful it will be.

I have a birth plan written out for a hospital birth, just in case. I also have a diaper bag packed with stuff for baby at the hospital. Haven't packed stuff for me yet... but if I end up with a scheduled induction i'll pack my stuff too. I know that if I end up with an induction I will at least be headed to a nice hospital. It's even better than the one that's closest to me.

My biggest disappointment will be the loss of use of the birth tub. One because it would be so wonderful to have a water birth and also to use the water for relaxing. And Two because I put a nice deposit down on that tub and will lose half the price of the rental if I cancel at this point. That's more than a hundred dollars!! Seems like a lot to lose to me...

I'd love for any support I can get. I especially would love prayers and words of encouragement. I think prayers work wonders, and I know words of encouragement will do great things to help me feel better about all of this.

Thanks everyone!

[Sock]

I've lost my homebirth. The reason: my midwife isn't licensed, so we can't get a birth certificate. We live outside of the US, so we need an official birth certificate to get a passport for the baby to go home and visit the family. Without a midwife we have no chance of getting a passport.

I've tried everything that I could think of to keep my HB, but it isn't going to happen. I've offered local doctors a month's salary to "witness" my birth. I've begged for an exception to the rule, everything.

The worst thing about this is that my husband doesn't get it, and I think that he is secretly really happy about it. Yesterday he bought baby's bottles, because they were on the list of things that you have to bring to the hospital. I've told him 100 times that I was going to exclusively breastfeed and that I would be really angry at him if he gave the baby formula or water.

The hospitals are really terrible here. I spent the last 7 months preparing for this birth at home, preparing myself to stay calm with meditation and the past 2 weeks I have just been freaking out. I honestly don't know if I am going to be able to make myself go to the hospital, but having an unregistered baby would be a nightmare for him/her.

I can't sleep at night. I wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares about my birth.

Sometimes I think that maybe I am being totally naive, but I feel like I am going to be able to handle this birth (and the pain of the birth) just fine until I go to the hospital. I don't feel any fear when I think about having the baby, but I imagine having to fight off (literally) the doctors, and I don't know if I am strong enough to do this alone.

My only ray of hope is taking a taxi to the hospital, birthing the baby within minutes of arriving and leaving before they can screw anything up, but I know that the possibilities of this are slim.

I just want to have a natural birth with no drama, no interventions and really nobody there. I don't really think that is too much to ask. I also want my husband's support, and since he was born at home I don't understand his fear.

[MuslimMama]

hi! I have battled with this for the last few weeks thinking that I was definatly going to have a c-section instead of the home birth I had planned. It was not until two days ago that the OB reevaluated the situation and said that I might be able to try for a natural delivery, but only in the hospital. My midwife agreed.

Honestly, I am so excited just about the possibility of a natural delivery that I have not even been sad about the loss of my home birth. I am just trying to prepare myself for a beautiful birth experience in the hospital.

My biggest concerns are that because it is my first baby and I have *no clue* what to expect, I am worried I will be begging for an epidural and that DH will just go along with it out of pure sympathy (even though he is really dead against ANY type of intervention). I am trying to prepare myself and him.

My other worry is about after the baby is born... I need to do some more research on what my/ babys rights are as far as refusing "routine treatments" such as eye ointment, vitamin K shot, and Hep B vacs... does anyone have any info on that? I think I will put a few posts up about that.

It is not what I had planned, but I am praying that it will still be a wonderful experience for me, my hubby and my baby! All of you are in my thoughts and prayers too!

[trayls]

Originally Posted by dimibella

Okay mamas it unfortunately seems like a lot of us are in danger of losing our HBs here at the very end,

Thoughts and prayers to you and everyone in their births!

I don't exactly qualify for this thread, but have been sad and anxious at having to deliver in a hospital for many months. At some point, I made some peace with it but then got all upset again.

When this pregnancy began I was absolutely clueless about everything... and I mean EVERYTHING. When I began to study childbirth and pregnancy it was like a cascade of realizations. First off, I took tours of the local hospitals and they were horrible! The local birthing center closed at the end of May. Then I considered switching providers to a Midwives group that everyone loved but didn't understand it would really matter and didn't (BIG mistake). Then as time went on and the more I discovered, I soooo wanted a homebirth. Insurance doesn't pay and I didn't really have the confidence earlier on.

So I thought I would make the best with what I had, and looked forward to at least a brand spankin' new hospital birth center. I planned to labor at home until the last minute, hired a doula to help with at home laboring and keeping the medication sharks at bay at the hospital. Then the dreaded GBS+ struck and things got turned on end. A conversation with my doctor made me further convinced I didn't even want them touching the baby. (My partner and I have been joking about keeping the nurse out of the room and delivering in the labor tub, or blocking the door to keep the doctor away so he can catch the baby! Wouldn't they be pissed )

I dream and wish for a homebirth, a waterbirth, and have fantasies of an "accidental" UC. It was never a real possibility for me (or I hadn't thought so earlier on) so I can't imagine the disappointment you must feel at maybe losing out on it.

I am refocusing now on making this best possible experience it can be. It's simply all I can do.

I hope you find peace soon with whatever will happen but continue positive thoughts and hope!

[dimibella]

Mamato3wildponnie and SkyMomma, thanks so much for thinking of us, I know it means alot to all of us to have support and encouragement.

funfunkyfantastic- I will be saying some major prayers for you tonight and in the following days mama. Your homebirth image sounds beautiful. It just hit me the other day that losing my HB means losing my waterbirth and I am so disappointed in that too. This is probably our last baby and I really want that experience.

Sock- I am so sorry that totally stinks, it would be really, really hard to not have hubby's support, we totally understand how you are feeling though. Where are you living right now? I plan on staying home as long as possible as well and hopefully delivering just after I get to the hospital, if it comes to that.

MuslimMama- I am glad that you are excited about your natural delivery. Where are you in Dallas? I'm in Arlington. What hospital are you using? My midwife's back up is Baylor Grapevine, I've heard good things about it, but am still holding out hope that I'll be at home with this little one. Stay strong and let everyone know ahead of time what you really want and that your plan should not be deviated from unless absolutely neccessary.

trayls- Thanks for the thoughts and prayers as well! I have totally been thinking about finding a way to send the L&D nurse out of the room and locking the door behind her, do those doors even lock? I know I am just being silly, but I can fantasize right?

Anyhow, I go to the OB for the second time tomorrow. I was kinda mellow last time because I was really hoping my blood results would come back higher and I wouldn't have to see him again, but I guess we'll have a lot of talking to do tomorrow. He wants to start cervical checks, I don't want any done at all, ever, period. He doesn't want me to go over 41w and I sooo don't want to be induced. He has an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow, which I guess I am okay with, but I hope he isn't just using it to see if baby is "too big" already. Ahhh, so many things to think about.

Still preparing for my homebirth too, cleaning my house like crazy and trying to get it ready so that my midwive's won't walk into a disaster area. Rearranging furniture so that my birthing pool fits into our bedroom right beside the bed and thinking about what I want to eat during and after.

to all you ladies, you will be in my prayers tonight. Keep me updated, so I don't feel lonely!