montessori and feeling like crap as a mom HSer.

[junglefamily]

ok, so there is a big montessori community in our town. my son tried it when he was 4, but after a month i couldn't get him in the door. it was everyday, and he cried that he was too tired to go. that was ok, because we couldn't really afford it really,(4k a year). So, we took him out after the first semester. so i had a few break downs, an then really decided to homeschool. i also have a 3 years old that has never been to a classroom, and a baby on the way.........so recently after failing to connect with other homeschoolers after trying and trying, we decdied to join the local Unitarian fellowship. they have a "sunday school" type thing, and it is in the montessori style. i felt it would be good to get them around other kids, etc. and it is only one day, one hour. so we visited today.. we had a little mock classroom thing with the director and the kids LOVED it--especially the 3 year old. they didn't want to leave. and i left feeling sort of......ok REALLY guilty. am i keeping them from things they like? should i bite it and send them to the montessori school? (i know my now 5 year old would like it now, and the 3 year old would LOVEIT...) its just that there is a HUGE list of things that i don't like about the classroom (full time). the biggest thing (and the point of the thread) is that it seems to create so many new desires in them...and i feel horrible that i can't fulfill them. like...our house isn't SUPER organized (like a montessori classroom), and you know, sometimes things aren't perfect. and they have to spend the whole day interacting and sometimes disagreeing...and get little time outside of the family..but at school it is all so perfect....
anyone else have montessori issues? or a past?

[tammylsmith]

Montessor

I don't know what to add. I was just bumping this to see if anyone else has had this experience. I am interested in Montessori, but my dd is just 15 months, so we haven't started anything. it does seem REALLY organized. I like Waldorf too... but both remind me of some of the modernist art styles I learned about in school... very rigid with A LOT of rules to adhere to. I would have trouble following either to the letter at home (the battle over plastic toy gifts is SOO hard!) Our Montessori school is 10K (!!!) per year, so there isn't much temptation for me. Too expensive. I understand how you feel though about wanting your kids to be happy. I would be interested to hear other's opinions. Have you posted on the MOntessori board yet?

[IlluminatedAttic]

I'm not really sure from your post if you are looking for support in sending the kids to school and helping them deal with the different environment at home, or reassurance that what they are getting at home is good. There are a lot of things I like about the Montessori philosophy and curriculum and some things I disagree with. I'm using some of what I like as I homeschool my little one, as well as bits of Waldorf and classical ed. and probably lots of other things in the future.

Perhaps you can have a conversation with each child, and then also contemplate yourself, to find out what it is about the class that excites them. Is it the social aspect, the M materials, the group activities, the predictable routine or just the "other than at home" feel. There are a lot of people out there who are homeschooling with a Montessori type philosophy and lots of websites and blogs and yahoo groups and such dedicated to helping each other with activities and materials and curriculum ideas. Perhaps doing something like this at your home would give them what they need. A google search will bring lots of links.

If the feeling that the whole Montessori school package would be best for them then I wouldn't worry about the differences between home and school. I believe that the organization and routine they learn at school might translate into them helping more to do things like put their toys away, provided they know where the items belong, and wanting to take more personal responsibility for themselves, such as tooth brushing and serving their own food, but I doubt they will suddenly begin complaining about a pile of papers on the kitchen counter. I would guess that you will find very simple changes you can make to help them incorporate M type routines at home, like making a child-sized pitcher of milk available on the refrigerator shelf so they can serve themselves a drink when they are thirsty instead of needing to find you and ask for one.

On the other hand, if you feel the attraction to the class is more social and "out of the house" based than a specific draw to Montessori then perhaps try to brainstorm other ways to meet those needs. Perhaps a class or storytime at the library, the Y, or the rec center. Or planning one field trip a week. Or hiring a mother's helper or babysitter so that you can go out one-on-one with each child to an activity. If joining a homeschool group hasn't worked for you don't let that deter you from investigating what activities for homeschoolers are offered by local museums, zoo, colleges, libraries, etc. You don't have to be with 10 other people to attend most things and just having a membership on paper to a group can usually suffice to get you the reduced rates.

HTH