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Hannah Montana? (x-posted from Childhood) - Page 2

post #21 of 32
This po's me too! I hate the marketing geared to young children, everything is has this logo or HSM logo on it. I despise HM and HSM so I accidently loose the clothing mil buys with this stuff on it. And if I come in the room to find it one I turn it off and site the rule no tv. Since we only have the kids for 48 hours every two weeks we don't do tv unless it is a preapproved movie night imo they watch WAY too much tv at their mom's house including things inappropriate for 8 yo ie horror movies that I wouldn't even watch
post #22 of 32
I actually could not find clearance pajamas (aka stuff that's still lightweight--she needed a pair or two in August) at the mall store nearest my work, that did not have Hannah Montana on them. I suppose on one hand, that's reassuring--the HM stuff wasn't selling that well...but on the other hand.

I hear you. We've got a Pokemon obsession that Mom gladly feeds and we want nothing to do with. (SD even complained that we didn't get her any Pokemon for her birthday. Anyone else hate birthday entitlement? But I digress.) We also get the 'tween attitude, but I'm not entirely sure it's (mostly) media-driven.

We just limit TV time, don't buy the stuff, don't really say much either way when it makes its way here (but make darn sure it makes its way back to Mom's). It's about all we can do.
post #23 of 32
My 6 year old is into it too. I know it came from her dad's house (tween stepsister there) because we dont even do tv here at all. I hate consumerism in general but I guess hannah montana is better than bratz
post #24 of 32
We had a very similar issue when I was pregnant (surprise, surprise ). I have always been very anti-TV. DF wasn't. I wanted our house default to be something other than TV. DSD watches *a lot* of TV/movies at her mom's house.

For years, any new life experience brought the comment, "Oh, this is just like [insert TV show/movie]." She placed everything in the context of cartoons. It still does happen, from time to time.

I really didn't want this to be DS's life experience.

Eventually, after me quietly making my case for almost a year, DF saw things my way. We wound up putting our TV in the closet for around six months - hauling it out only so DF could watch football on Sundays. And then American Idol. But by that time, we were out of the habit. After American Idol, the TV returned to its dormant state, only to be awakened months later for the Olympics and the two major party conventions. Considering the standard American TV diet, ours is pretty healthy. Now that the special events are over, we are back to no TV.

Now, don't get me wrong. It is easy to sit DSD in front of the TV. She'll sit there for hours, entranced. The perfect, angelic kid.

I've never thought TV was a great idea for DSD. Despite the fact that it would make my like SO much easier. Now, DF is finally seeing my point. However, she still watches a lot at her mom's (including The Family Guy - at six!). Hopefully, our next-to-no TV will combat the abundance of it when she is at her mom's.
post #25 of 32
Thread Starter 
The good news is DH gets it... I knew it was a clueless moment.. He figured since it was Dinsey it was fine. He actually watched some of it then saw DSD repeating phrases and such that he wasn't keen on.

Granted she will likely hear these phrases at school and pick it up anyway... but that doesn't mean we have to promote it in our house.

DH said he just doesn't know all the kid shows and didn't realize that some kids shows aren't really kid friendly... he figured everything on Disney was "safe"... poor man. lol

So I think DSD's days of watching HM at our house are over. Yay for trying to regain brain cells.


Quote:
I just wanted to say I'm all for different rules, but in order for that to work you AND your dh must have the same standards. If your dh shares a certain standard with your dsd's mom, then it's no longer differences in the two different households, it's the differences between biological parents and a stepparent's opinion.
I am still not keen on this line of thinking, and doubt I will ever back down on my opinion anytime soon... DH is MY parenting partner in this household. DSD's Mom is perfectly entitled to make decision in her house... but I am not going to sit back and be a third wheel to standard for the way we raise children in this house.

I completely understand that different ages will come with different rules/privilages... However, children do talk, and I have seen this in my own growing up... if all of a sudden parents change things up and what 2 children could not do at 5 years old, and then their last 5 year old is allowed to do it, it becomes this big, "well Mom and Dad let me do this and not you.. nah nah nah." Beleive me... it happens and kids don't forget. This happened some in my house growing up, though for the most part, as oldest I set the precedent... Mom figured out ages to allow certain things and kept with it... didn't change it up for my two younger sisters.

That is how I view my future... I'm setting standards now... I don't want our young children to be consumed by TV, and that precedent should start now... Why should things just instantly change in 3 months because then all of a sudden I'm a bio parent to one child in this house?

No... sorry, that doesn't sit well with me. DH and I parent together in this house, and things we don't agree on we discuss... and DSD's Mom's values/rules do not ever come into it... she has no say in how we parent in THIS house. It is not her household.
post #26 of 32
I hate tv. My lil gal spends ONE night a week at her dads and is still hugely influenced by it. I dont allow any here at all b/c she just zombies out in front of it. I am pretty sure her dad just lets her watch non-stop and it drives me nuts.

"mama, on xyz show they did this and that" I hate that! lol, I always say, oh honey tv isn't real! I only talk about REAL people, what did you do with (real friends name) today? It works!!!

When my sk's are here its no tv for them either. Same situation at their home tv on all the time. They survive =) We have a cabinet for the tv and the doors are almost always closed. I watch sometimes after the kdis are in bed (Monday nights I like to watch gossip girl!! lol)
post #27 of 32
I have had ZERO issue with the other parents (I have stepkids, and my ex has stepkids, double whammy!) about the TV. I am sure they find it a little odd, but have never made a single comment about it. I'm sure they really don't care! All the kids in my home follow the same rules, only different by ages (like the 10 year old gets to stay up a little later kind of thing) it doesn't matter who birthed them if theyre in my home they're in my rules =)
post #28 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSMa View Post
No... sorry, that doesn't sit well with me. DH and I parent together in this house, and things we don't agree on we discuss...
I'm not sure what you mean, since all I was saying it was important to be on the same page and then make a parenting decision together vs. just by yourself. I'm glad your DH has agreed with you on this subject. I was trying to make a point that it won't work unless both of you agree. Don't you think it wouldn't have worked if your DH stuck by "it's not a big deal, she can watch it"? Then you'd have a problem making a child change her habits. Obviously, it's not the case, and I"m happy for all involved. Communication is certainly the key to any successful relationship, and it's working for you. Who can argue that there are certainly much healthier things for a 5 y.o. to do than to watch HM. Glad it worked out!
post #29 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by arismama! View Post
see i don't think it's wrong to state that you or dh has differing beliefs than biomom or biodad.
I don't have a problem talking about different peole believing different things... we are just careful not to attach judgment to it when it comes to differences between us and her mom. For example, SD is allowed to chew gum at her mom's and not at ours... we say simply that "it's okay with mom, but not with us, so you can do it when you are with mom and she says it is okay." However, we won't say "It's not safe to chew gum. If your mom wants to let you, that's her choice, but you can't do it here because it is not safe." While the first says that people have different opinions and different rules, the second implies that her mom is doing something that is unsafe for her.

We are all for promoting the legitimacy of choices and beliefs other than our own, we are just not willing to tell her something that implies her mother is making choices for her that are not safe, healthy, or moral. If we believe mom is making a harmful choice for my step-daughter, it is something for my husband to discuss with his ex, not for him to tell his daughter.

Sorry... hijack over...
post #30 of 32
Thread Starter 
UPDATE:

I am so glad I stood my ground on this, regardless of some opinions that step parents should butt out...

Since this conversation with DH HM has not been viewed in our house and he backed me 100%.


Yesterday we got an email from his ex, totally proving my point even more though...

DSD learned the word looser from watching HM and called a boy a looser at school. DSD's Mom wrote to us to please not allow DSD to watch it this weekend at our house as she has grounded DSD from the show for a week.

DH called her and told her we had already determined the show to be totally not age appropriate for DSD that she is only 4 years old and can't comprehend what is right and wrong from watching the TV, she is simply going to mimic everything she sees.

So now his ex knows what we think of the show too...


Though this leads to something else I wish he had brought up with her, though I suppose we don't want to open the door of her trying to tell us how to discipline... but groudning a 4 year old? Seriously... a 4 year old is not going to grasp being grounded at all! Their minds don't work like that and needd a direct cause and effect scenario in the moment... not grounding for a week!

And the funny thing... if DSD's Mom is clued in to the fact now that DSD is learning things she'd rather her not from watching this show... why take it away for just a week? Why not until DSD is of an age where she can understand it?? A week is not going to change the content on the show nor the maturity of DSD's mind to suddenly grasp what the show is and what everything means in it...


But anyway... DH was rather impressed that I knew what I was talking about and my thoughtfulness in that DSD would likely pick up something that she does not need to be learning yet. I started being able to tell a little bit ago that DSD has entered the stage of total mimicing and is like a shadow puppet doing everything she sees around her right now... we are being very concious of that.


I just wanted to say... even though step parents aren't bio parents... we are STILL PARENTS, and if we have a major concern, I think we have every right to bring it up.
post #31 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by aricha View Post
I don't have a problem talking about different peole believing different things... we are just careful not to attach judgment to it when it comes to differences between us and her mom. For example, SD is allowed to chew gum at her mom's and not at ours... we say simply that "it's okay with mom, but not with us, so you can do it when you are with mom and she says it is okay." However, we won't say "It's not safe to chew gum. If your mom wants to let you, that's her choice, but you can't do it here because it is not safe." While the first says that people have different opinions and different rules, the second implies that her mom is doing something that is unsafe for her.

We are all for promoting the legitimacy of choices and beliefs other than our own, we are just not willing to tell her something that implies her mother is making choices for her that are not safe, healthy, or moral. If we believe mom is making a harmful choice for my step-daughter, it is something for my husband to discuss with his ex, not for him to tell his daughter.

Sorry... hijack over...
i agree completely. these issues come up all the time for us and i am sure for DSK's mom too. example- she allows them to see some r rated movies at age 5 and 7. we don't. we try to explain that each house/parent gets to have their own decisions and rules and thats it. if the kids probe us further we explain why we may not choose certain things but we dont say anything to imply that thier mom isnt being good to them.
post #32 of 32
i hate HM also...very much!!! My girls aren't really into it thankfully!
But I would just let her watch it. Her Mother lets her watch it so it's not like you can 'un-do' her liking it, get my drift?
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