6.5 year olds new-found choice of (rude) words....age appropriate? Help!

[MamaRBH]

I'm finding myself at a loss on how to respond to some of the things my 6.5 yr. old DD is saying. She's using a very negative and often rude tone. She's sure her brother, sister and myself are a huge annoyance to her.

She's always been so warm and nurturing... I'm sure it's still in there somewhere.

Is toying with these new tones and negative choice of words age-appropriate? How is best to respond?

Experienced Mamas....I need your guidence!

[annethcz]

My 6.5yo DD also has the same rude attitude sometimes. The way I deal with it depends on the situation. Sometimes I tell her to 'treat others with kindness', sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I ask her to take a break in her room until she's ready to be kind. There have been times that I've demonstrated the difference tone of voice can make- I'll say a phrase nicely and then say that phrase in a rude way and ask if she can hear the difference.

[LynnS6]

Oh yes, very age appropriate!

I'll try respond to the message, and then point out the fact that the tone was rude. (You have to do it in that order, otherwise they don't feel heard.) If I'm cranky, I'll probably just look at ds and say "um... try again in a polite voice."

As for rude/bad words, I've had the most success using methods from Playful Parenting - "I don't like "stupid" but don't you DARE call me a caramel apple!" they cannot resist calling you whatever silly name you just made up. You can then overreact madly "oh no!!! Not that word!! I can't stand it!!" and they think it's hysterical.

[lovemyfamily6]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

As for rude/bad words, I've had the most success using methods from Playful Parenting - "I don't like "stupid" but don't you DARE call me a caramel apple!" they cannot resist calling you whatever silly name you just made up. You can then overreact madly "oh no!!! Not that word!! I can't stand it!!" and they think it's hysterical.

Definitely! We went through a thing a year or so ago and my boys were saying stuff like "I don't love you" and "you're a poopy butt". I tried unsuccessfully telling them to stop saying that, talk nicely, etc. Then I remembered PP and started saying "Good, call my a poopy butt. DO NOT call me a flipper doodle though!" and then respond with an appropriate amount of shock when they yell "You're a flipper doodle!"

My oldest will be 7 next month and he is pretty rude to me sometimes. I chalk it up to school though and being tired. That's when the problems happen the most, after school. So I try to say "I know you're tired and maybe a little grouchy. Please speak kindly to me though." and most of the time he calms down.

[columbusmomma]

My DS is going through this stage as well: Thanks for the playful and fun way to respond to the situation! I think I'm gonna try that suggestion!