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My son does not want to sleep over at Bio-Dad's (URGENT) - Page 2

post #21 of 38
Thread Starter 
I am setting up a doctor appointment for Dom.
post #22 of 38
That sounds like a good idea. How are you both doing? I'm really sorry about the police showing up. That must have been so scary for both of you.

Anne
post #23 of 38
Thread Starter 
We are not doing good.

It seems that he has no voice and will still be forced to go. I have a week to figure it out.

I feel like I have no way of protecting him.
post #24 of 38
Thread Starter 
Also....he have not been to the doctor yet. I am getting that scheduled. But I have spoken to someone and they do not think parenting time will be changed by having him seen.

I could care less what parenting time is but HE DOES NOT WANT TO GO!

That scared the HELL out of me!
post #25 of 38
Even if a doctor can't stop the parenting time, they can help him with coping mechanisms, they can make him feel heard, they can be the one to contact his dad and suggest joint sessions (which removes you and Dom from being the bad guys). They can be a very valuable member of the team.
post #26 of 38
I'm so sorry. Did you pick a lawyer?

What does your son say? Why doesn't he want to go?

I guess all you can say to him is that you are doing the best to take care of him and that things will be ok with time. I think he needs to talk to a family therapist so it probably isn't something that can be solved short term.
post #27 of 38
Thread Starter 
The scary thing is that sleeping over was NOT an issue before. But now that biodad lives with his pparents, Dom does not want to go. That justs puts up a red flag to me.

He says that he wants to spend time with BD. He does not want to sleep over. He does not want to go more than two weekends a month *(without sleeping over) as BD is trying to get him 6 months a year or every other week.

Dom wants to stay with his family where he has lived since birth, not live with BD.

BD talks a big talk and never follows through. Suddenly, he is standing his ground without doing anything to make it better.

I asked BD to call daily. He has called 4 times in the 3 weeks (over that) with one call coming in at 12:20 AM
post #28 of 38
Thread Starter 
There have been times when my son would sit with his backpack on waiting for BD watching out the windows for HOURS and he never came.

But now BD cares.

There is something else going on here. I have known BD for 11 years. Someone else is pushing for this behind the scenes. I know it.
post #29 of 38
I am so sorry...this stuff is so hard.
post #30 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
There have been times when my son would sit with his backpack on waiting for BD watching out the windows for HOURS and he never came.

But now BD cares.

There is something else going on here. I have known BD for 11 years. Someone else is pushing for this behind the scenes. I know it.
Do you think BD's parents are pushing for more time?
post #31 of 38
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
Do you think BD's parents are pushing for more time?
Yes.

But gramma has made the mistake of telling Dom that BD calls him all the time but your mom (me) does not tell you or let you talk to him.

So now Dom does not care much for her. There is more but that is one thing she has spoken to Dom about. And that I do not let BD see Dom.

We have an open door policy. Jerry is welcome ANYTIME (as long as he does a curtesy call to let us know he is coming) He has been invited to trips, events, Twins games, sporting events, monster trucks, boys night out where my dh and his friends bring there sons places, to every practice/game/competition Dom has......and he RARELY comes.
post #32 of 38
Thread Starter 
PS The Bio grandparents have full access to Dom as well. I even told her to let me know if she would like to take him for a sleepover and we can arrange it.

Never calls.

Never comes over.

Has BARELY seen him in almost 9 years. (Unless BD is living with them)

I used to call all the time. But I finally realized I was always doing the calling. She never called me. So I though I would stop calling and see what happened. She never called and we stopped communicating regularly.

On a phone call within the last year I had called to speak with Dom. He was sleeping. I asked to speak with BD and gramma flipped out. BD was not home and had not been for most of that weekend. During that call she actually questioned if Dom was even her sons. Because my OB took blood at birth and it could have been a set up.

So hurtful.
post #33 of 38


Saying that, you now have grounds for citing PAL (parental alienation syndrome) because the grandma has been lying to Dom, and trying to get sole custody and stop visits to the grandparents house that way. That's one tiny bright light, maybe?
post #34 of 38
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post


Saying that, you now have grounds for citing PAL (parental alienation syndrome) because the grandma has been lying to Dom, and trying to get sole custody and stop visits to the grandparents house that way. That's one tiny bright light, maybe?
Never thought of that.

:

Tiny bright light....
post #35 of 38
I think that at his Dom's, a judge would be willing to factor his opinion into a custody decision. In your situation, I would think about filing for sole custody with visitation for Dad.
post #36 of 38
Thread Starter 
Thank you mamas for your support :
post #37 of 38
Thread Starter 
Police were at the house again Friday. Went smoother this time.

Still trying to figure this out.
post #38 of 38
F*ck! I'm so sorry about this mess. How is your son doing? I had been thinking about you - I appreciate the update.

Hugs.
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