Expressing concerens to doc without ds hearing?

[llnmaw]

I'm taking my 3 y/o for a "well child' check because he has some behaviors that are concerning me - have been for some time now but they seem to ramping up.

How would you (if it were you) convey things about your dc to your provider and not have your child hear it? Ds listens to everything and comments on things hours later when I was not even aware he was listening. I'll be at the appt. with my 2 kids (18month dd and 3yr ds). Neither of them would be content or happy to sit with a nurse/receptionist while I meet privately. We don't visit the office with great regularity so calling ahead and talking to the receptionist seems out of place. It is unlikely ds will do these things while at the visit because he is very careful, guarded and quiet when in unfamiliar surroundings.

Mostly I'm concerned about movements he does with his hands and some of his 'goofy' facial movements and I don't want dc to feel shame or be aware of these things unnecessarily - if it is nothing he is just a goofy little kid and I'd never want that to change!

Any ideas?

~L.

[ChetMC]

I Would

I would contact the doctor in advance and discuss it on the phone before the appointment. Otherwise, I would bring somebody along that your DS would be comfortable waiting with in the waiting room.

[sbgrace]

I've needed to speak with doctors without my son overhearing many times. What I've always done is bring along grandma or a friend or my spouse. The doctor examines the child and then whomever takes him out and I talk to the doctor without listening ears.

The alternative would be to have someone watch him at home while you have an appt. with just the doctor. You can also try calling ahead. The only on the spot solution would be writing all the concerns down with a little starting blurb about wanting to be discrete in front of the child. That is the only no helper thought I have. I've tried that in the past with very little success before I switched to brining someone with me. Maybe it depends on the doctor though.

[pink gal]

Does your Dr. have an e-mail address for patients? Our peds office offers this through their web site. If I have a concern before an appt that I don't want to discuss in front of the kids I'll just e-mail her telling her when we will be in and my concern. She has been great aobut responding and being tactful when we are in the office.

[lovemyfamily6]

I've been in that position before. My husband works until 9pm and grandparents live out of state, so we don't have child care. What about if you write your concerns down and then give it to the nurse to share with the doctor?

[A&A]

Hand him/her a note.

[karne]

If you do want to have face to face discussion with the doctor, and have someone to watch ds in the waiting room, I would make sure to ask for extra time for your appointment-15 mins. at least. Docs are booked back to back, often, so unless you specifically book in the talk time you need, the discussion might feel very time-pressed.

I would actually make sure the doc knew you concerns, via note or phone beforehand, AND schedule extra time at the end of the visit to talk. I have done this.

[kamilla626]

You could write out a list of concerns and drop them off for the doctor some day before the appointment.

[llnmaw]

Thanks mamas! It looks like my best bet, for our situation, is to write a list of my concerns and give them to the nurse before the doc comes into the room. I just fear that it needs more discussion than what I can write in a short and succinct note - ya know?

The reality is I'm sure my little guy is just goofy and a little weird (kinda like his folks!) and nothing to be of any concern...so I may end up keeping my eye on him for a little while longer.

~L.

[AuntNi]

I never discuss behavioral questions with the pediatrician, but I was lucky in that I had other good sources for behavioral questions. We were in Parents As Teachers and preschool, which was so helpful for behavioral issues.

But when I had medical stuff I needed to discuss privately with the doctor, I called a nurse ahead of time. My doc's nurses are so awesome, and they sometimes have a few minutes to chat on the phone. They would bring my concerns to the doctor, then call me back with his answers. I think it's important that your doctor know before your appointment that you have questions outside the "well child checkup" scope. Good luck!

[jake&zaxmom]

I've talked over my kid's head before.

He had some symptoms that worried me. They seemed consistant with a brain tumor (no tumor-he's fine THANK GOD!!) but I wanted to voice that concern and get it considered to hopefully ease my mind. So I said,"Do you see anything that would need to be presented to an oncologist?" I also asked if he saw any "neurological abnormalities"

Maybe "seemingly involontary facial contortions" or similar would alert the doc without alerting your child.

[llnmaw]

Originally Posted by jake&zaxmom

I've talked over my kid's head before.

He had some symptoms that worried me. They seemed consistant with a brain tumor (no tumor-he's fine THANK GOD!!) but I wanted to voice that concern and get it considered to hopefully ease my mind. So I said,"Do you see anything that would need to be presented to an oncologist?" I also asked if he saw any "neurological abnormalities"

Maybe "seemingly involontary facial contortions" or similar would alert the doc without alerting your child.

Ohhh...I like that! I could use some creative words that I know my son would not understand.

:Rhythmic hand movements.....go it! THANK YOU!!!

Glad your son is fine!!

~L.