Why does my 5 yo ds gravitate toward the violent kids?

[ajsgirl]

I just don't get it. We raised him in a gentle household. He doesn't watch any violent tv (tv is pretty restricted). Yet, at preschool and now at Kindergarten, he is gravitating toward playing with the more violent, aggressive kids.

In one conversation, he'll mention how "Joey" told the teacher he was going to shoot him and then how he's his best friend. How "Ricky" and "Bobby" were hitting kids with blocks and it upset him so much and made him have a bad day, but that they're his best friends too. Huh? To that I've said, "They can be your friends, but it's not okay for you to act that way too."

I don't really know what to say to him except, "what about "Eddie" and "Charlie"? They seem like nice guys." I can't pick his friends for him obviously, but is there anything I can do?

[4evermom]

Violent and aggressive are kinda loaded words for such young kids. I suspect it is more an issue of lack of impulse control and empathy.

5 is the age when boys start playing differently, ime. They are still the same sweet caring boys that they were when they were 3 and 4 but they start trying out acting and talking tough. Your son is probably intrigued with it and thus the attraction. Of course, you should confirm that the other boys shouldn't throw blocks at kids and that we should treat other people kindly. But it is hard to say what is going on with the other boys without knowing them and seeing what happened.