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Anyone live with an in-law? Multi-generational living? Extended family living? - Page 2

post #21 of 26
We are currently staying with my mother-in-law. My DP's mother. It is hard, but we had to leave our house due to toxic mold invading our basement. So it's temporary, and I can deal for the time being.
post #22 of 26
My MIL lives with us most of the time (she takes long trips back to Lebanon). At first it was so, so hard. I was awful. I took all of her efforts to help as "indictments" of my housekeeping skills (minimal) and, once I had my first child, mothering skills. My MIL speaks no English and I speak very little Arabic, so I was always going to my dh, asking him to talk to her about things. I felt she took over my house. I'm not proud of my behavior. I'm fortunate that she doesn't seem to hold a grudge. Eventually I realized what a blessing she was, that she really just enjoyed cooking and doing housework, and that her motivation was really to be helpful, not to be critical. I love her dearly, and we get along well now. I feel like it's such a gift for our dc that she lives with us.
post #23 of 26
we live with my mom. and for the most part it goes well. sometimes tho we do need a break...
post #24 of 26
When I was growing up, and into my early 20's, my maternal grandmother lived with me and my parents and it was terrible!! She constantly picked fights, and would sit there all day and needle my mom to the point that when my dad would get home, huge fights between the 2 of them would erupt and my grandmother would go sit in her room and gloat.

When I became engaged, she tried to draw my (then) fiance (now XH) into the battles too and would complain to him that my parents would never refill her perscriptions, again, not true. He came running to me, and I set him straight on the matter....

Because of this, I have told my new dh that I could never have his mother live with us. When dh and I were together in high school, she and I had a great relationship, but over the years, she has become quite bitter and she came and stayed with us last winter, and it was terrible!!!! I told dh, after that, I couldn't and can not have her in our home. I am sorry. Just can't. I was newly diagnosed with latent type 1 diabetes and she went on and on about how she wished she could be on dh's insurance so he could pay for her meds, and rode me about how much mine where that I stopped taking my insulin and spiraled into deep depression. She has turned into a mean, jealous, bitter woman, not the free spirited happy hippie she was years ago. This is not what I wanted when DH and I got married, I had really looked forward to having (finally!) a MIL who I could have a relationship with and alas, there is no way. **sigh** I envy all of you who do have good relationships with your IL's.
post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChasingPeace View Post
My MIL lives with us most of the time (she takes long trips back to Lebanon). At first it was so, so hard. I was awful. I took all of her efforts to help as "indictments" of my housekeeping skills (minimal) and, once I had my first child, mothering skills. My MIL speaks no English and I speak very little Arabic, so I was always going to my dh, asking him to talk to her about things. I felt she took over my house. I'm not proud of my behavior. I'm fortunate that she doesn't seem to hold a grudge. Eventually I realized what a blessing she was, that she really just enjoyed cooking and doing housework, and that her motivation was really to be helpful, not to be critical. I love her dearly, and we get along well now. I feel like it's such a gift for our dc that she lives with us.

this is such a similar situation to us... right down to the language thing. I hope one day that I can get to the point where you are.

Dh said to me last week "you are always thinking she's out to get you"... and I told him, " that's because she IS!!!".

She is, isnt she? !
post #26 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
Being an adult and co-existing with your adult parents... sometimes (in my case) even *elderly* parents... is a special situation that others cannot relate to unless they are in that situation. It's good to have others to talk to about it.
This is exactly why I started this thread. Thank you EVERYONE for sharing your stories!

We moved in willingly and we have a long term plan to live on the same property (though in seperate domiciles).

We had one big fight that we got thru OK. I find that I feel guilty a lot of the time. I feel like. ..an interloper . I feel scared that my mom will get sick of us or something, but I think my fears are probably unfounded.
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