birth photog - need sound advice!

[lcaitlin]

we're planning a home birth with just me, dh, midwife, and my mom. mom lives 4 hours away, and will jump in the car at first sign of labor.

I met a wonderful pro photographer who wants to get into maternity, birth and baby photography. she did a free maternity session of me for her portfolio, and the pictures are great and top-notch.

she happens to live right in my neighborhood, and wants to shoot a birth from early labor through postpartum. I like her a lot -- she's very quiet and easy-going, but I don't know her well at all.

sooo... I'm really torn about inviting her to be at my birth. her idea is that she would stop by every couple hours to take a few pics and then leave or make herself scarce until delivery time. I could call the shots entirely -- not have her come at all, tell her to leave whenever, etc.

my mom has a broken wrist and opposite injured shoulder, so won't be able to take pics. I love photographs, and think it could be nice to have a super professional documentary album of our baby's birth. and I trust this woman to be very discreet and respectful. seems like a nice opportunity to have this done entirely for free.

but... I just don't know if I want another person at this birth. I envision it being just me and my husband, with mom and midwife in the background for support only when we really need it. will a photographer interfere with the vibe? will I notice her, or be able to ignore her presence as she expects? do I want this random person at the birth of our baby??

obviously this is a personal decision, but I'd love to hear any feedback from you wise women...

[HinesMaMa]

It sounds great!! how long have you sat on this? the idea might really appeal to some but ask yourself if you could comfortably labor in front of a stranger. I tend to get private in birth, but some people like the company. It could subconsciously stall your labor. Maybe you should play it by ear, have her there to snap some pics, and if you stall or feel uncomfortable have someone ask her politely to leave.

Originally Posted by lcaitlin

we're planning a home birth with just me, dh, midwife, and my mom. mom lives 4 hours away, and will jump in the car at first sign of labor.

I met a wonderful pro photographer who wants to get into maternity, birth and baby photography. she did a free maternity session of me for her portfolio, and the pictures are great and top-notch.

she happens to live right in my neighborhood, and wants to shoot a birth from early labor through postpartum. I like her a lot -- she's very quiet and easy-going, but I don't know her well at all.

sooo... I'm really torn about inviting her to be at my birth. her idea is that she would stop by every couple hours to take a few pics and then leave or make herself scarce until delivery time. I could call the shots entirely -- not have her come at all, tell her to leave whenever, etc.

my mom has a broken wrist and opposite injured shoulder, so won't be able to take pics. I love photographs, and think it could be nice to have a super professional documentary album of our baby's birth. and I trust this woman to be very discreet and respectful. seems like a nice opportunity to have this done entirely for free.

but... I just don't know if I want another person at this birth. I envision it being just me and my husband, with mom and midwife in the background for support only when we really need it. will a photographer interfere with the vibe? will I notice her, or be able to ignore her presence as she expects? do I want this random person at the birth of our baby??

obviously this is a personal decision, but I'd love to hear any feedback from you wise women...

[cellarstella]

I think since she's cool with you calling the shots and ok with being told to leave, you should plan to keep her on call. While I was in labor my first time, my mom, who has very bad eyesight and was using a camera she was not used to, was taking pictures. You can barely even see my DD's face! A lot of close up shots of my blubber . I would be content to know someone who can take good pictures is there, especially if she is just quiet and taking pictures, not getting involved at all. It's such an amazing experience and it goes so fast, in retrospect, that it is nice to know you'll have visual memories to reflect on.

You could always have her come over for a quick and quiet session the morning after, instead, so at least you'll have some fresh newborn pics!

[freestyler]

I would definitely think about hiring her. I have had birth photographers at two of our births, and neither time did I know the person extremely well. I LOVED having them there, it was like more moral support for me and positive energy. And those birth photos are the MOST precious possession I have---what I would rescue first if there were a fire! I saw both women's work first, and loved their portfolios, and hired them on that basis. It IS best, however, if she has at least some experience shooting a birth---does she have much?

But you also have to take the boundary issue into account. Sometimes our birth attendants, whether medical or support or whatever, are not people we would like to run into every day afterwards. For whatever reasons, and I don't mean bad reasons at all. Just for our own boundaries. And it is not the same for everyone! You have to think about whether you would feel comfortable running into her at the corner store all the time or whatever. Just something to consider.

If you really want a photographer, you could also bypass this person, and hire someone skilled and experienced in the birth photography art. Not only are the photos likely to be better, but the person is likely to "blend in" better at your birth and go totally unnoticed. She should have the experience and discernment to know exactly when to come and go---you don't want to have to "manage" someone while you are in labor, she should be totally self-sufficient. The only shots you should be calling are the ones concerning what position you're in, whether you are hungry or thirsty, etc. You do not need to worry about an extra person, waiting for direction from you. And for what it's worth, a birth photographer should show up and stay more or less the whole time, on site, because there are always neat and special and unexpected things (and photo ops!) going on at random intervals.

If it were me, I would want someone really experienced, but if you like her, and you think the price is right, or whatever other reasons, I would let her shoot away. it sounds like you do like your maternity photos. Does she have any references she can share?

[janasmama]

I think whether you'll notice her or not depends on what part of labor you are in. IMO, if she's a good photographer, she'll be able to be like a fly on the wall...standing back out of the room and using her zoom lens.

As long as you can tell her that having there isn't jiving with your atmosphere if that happens to be the case I'd definitely go with it.

[amitymama]

I think I would give it a go, it would be so great to have professional birth photos, especially for free! If at any point you feel uncomfortable, just say the word and she'll be outta there. I say go for it!

[Kabes]

Good photographers know how to be invisible. Confirm in advance that there will be no flash photography (this should be a given . . but just in case). I am so very grateful I got my fourth's birth photographed, we have nothing from the first three. I can't really speak to the unknown person factor b/c she was one of my newest but closest friends at the time. I think you should go for it.

[alyssatuininga]

Yeah I would go with it too. Especially if she is cool with you saying that you need her to go if it is interfering with your thing. You may end up with a great keepsake.