The Queer & Pregnant Thread --- mid-Sept. till Dec. 2008 - Page 5

[starling&diesel]

Hi everyone!

We're back from our holiday ... I learned a few things about being pregnant and doing a two week road trip camping extravaganza. Snack often. Pee when you need too. Bring lots of pillows. Demand a cheap motel room if it's too cold or the bathroom is too far away. Let DP do the talking if you think the hormones might speak instead of your fine, pleasant self.

For those of you afraid of transition ... having caught several babies in my life, I can attest to the fact that we women can handle it. None of the mamas who I helped during labour had any medication whatsoever (being that I'm a paramedic and this is usually at the side of the road or in their living room or the back of the ambulance.) Most often, I've seen mamas drift into a kind of trance like place of awesome strength. It's a sight to behold.

Pravana ... so good to see your wicked fierce mama self in action!
Heart-n-bones ... I have no doubt that little baby is sticking just fine. But here's some dust just in case.

[indigoscot]

mmm = you will be amazed at the inner strength you possess to get through childbirth!! i kept zen throughout the whole process and it was incredible. our ob said she would deliver a baby with me any time!! i bet she gets her share of women who aren't as relaxed as me, lol! don't be afraid.

g

[AngelaM]

Very briefly before the baby wakes up-

Heart-n-Bones- Sending you lots of positive, healthy thoughts! I'm sure everything is fine, but how scary!

MMM- You can handle transition. Honestly. Perhaps the most helpful thing to keep in mind is that for me and many others I've talked to, transition is the moment where you suddenly feel like "Oh my god, I can't do this anymore." Luckily, it's also the moment where you're getting close to being done. In some ways, getting to transition was a relief, because pushing came next, and at that point, the end was in sight. Plus, at that point there was something positive and productive to do, rather than just lie around trying to handle the pain of contractions. Though I have mixed feelings about hypnobirthing in general, it might be helpful to watch some of the videos- those women are all so calm and blissed out. While my own labor was not like that (I probably woke coma patients up with my yelling), watching the videos left me feeling calm about birth, and reinforced the idea that it is in fact a natural process that we are equipped to handle.

Pranava- Big hugs to you. I ran into my ex at Roller Derby the other night. Even after seven months it is still painful. I'm really sorry that you're having to deal with this all right now. Try to remember that you are awesome and are going to be a total rockstar mom.

Also, someone awhile back asked about hypnobirthing, and I promised to report back. So here's the story- I did NOT have a painfree childbirth. That claim is a crock of chicken feathers. Labor hurts! Or it did for me, anyway. And, I am very good at managing pain, disassociating, etc. The hypnobirthing did not stand a chance against those contractions. BUT, it was really helpful in keeping me calm between contractions, and really, even during the contractions themselves. I mean, it still hurt, but at least I was calm. The benefit of this is that we labored at home until I was just about fully dilated, and showed up at the hospital just in time to push. Honestly, the fact that we showed up so late is the only thing that kept my childbirth natural- that hospital was so stressful that I would have needed an epidural just to hang out there. Anyway, my two cents on hypnobirthing is that it was useful in keeping me calm, and reminding me that birth is a natural process, one that I was capable of handling. So for that, I think it was worth it. However, I think the danger of it is that they tell you that if you just follow their program, you'll have no pain. I've talked to several women who did hypnobirthing, and then completely freaked when they felt pain, feeling like they must have done something wrong, and headed straight for the epidural. So my two cents is that it's useful, but only if you think of it as a pain management technique, not a pain abatement technique.

Okay, that's it. Gotta go try and fold some laundry while the kid is still sleeping. Miss you guys! Can we start a Queer with a Newborn thread??

[tigermiep]

send some upward moving placenta vibes my way, please. US yesterday showed marginal previa continues, and the placenta doesn't look to have moved at all, but boy is it nice and big and thick.

I get another 5 weeks from tomorrow to get it to move, or else we have to schedule a surgical birth.

junior is kicking away, though, with his head vaguely downwards and his tush up under my ribs....

[starling&diesel]

Our one and only ultrasound was scheduled for this morning.
It just got cancelled because the tech called in sick.
They're booking four weeks ahead.
I am so, so disappointed.
:

[pleasantlyfurious]

S&D - how disappointing! I'm so sorry! There's no way they can squeeze you in sooner? Or maybe go somewhere else?

I'm having a little panic about not feeling pregnant at all. Until recently I chalked it up to still being early - and it is still early - 8 1/2 weeks - but I don't feel pregnant at all. No nausea, no constipation, no fatigue, nothing. Maybe I'm just extraordinarily lucky - but I'm really struggling to keep my worry in check.

[starling&diesel]

pleasantly ... the same thing happened to me when I was about as far along as you are. A respite from all symptoms, for about a week. It was scary, but nothing to worry about ... of course, that's easy to say from this end of things.

As for the ultrasound, welcome to the Canadian healthcare system. Gloriously free, but also insanely overworked. We live in a tiny town with no ultrasound at all, so this was booked at the nearest medical centre, which only has one. Beyond that, it's a three hour drive to the big city ... but still with a several week wait.

So, so, so, so, so disappointing.

[smartycat]

S+D: My heart sank when I saw a gloomy smiley in your post. I was glad to see it was just that the ultrasound was rescheduled. Sorry for your disappointment but happy things are still otherwise going well with you.

[starling&diesel]

smarty... thanks for putting it into perspective. That truly helps.
From me to you ... thanks

[JenInMpls]

giggleblue, I had a dream that I met you and your RL name is Claoudi. don't ask me where the heck that one came from!

miep, I am sorry to hear that your placenta did not respond to the singing of the theme song from the Jeffersons. Maybe we aren't singing loud enough? I will say that if it does come to a surgical birth, I found the resources that ICAN has - both on their website as well as the library that our local chapter has - very diverse and helpful. The meeting this month probably isn't what you need (VBAC stories?) but I bet if you got in touch with the chapter leaders - if you wanted to, of course - they would know where to direct you or even maybe know some other women who've been in your shoes... in the meantime: up, placenta, up! Up, placenta, up! Rah-rah-rah for pla-cen-ta!

S&D, I can understand your disappointment but that baby will be just as adorable 4 weeks from now and there's really only one fetal development marker that isn't really valid after 21 weeks... and i can't even remember which one it is. Nasal bone development? I had a 2nd follow-up US at 28 weeks and he was easier to see because he had less room to move around.

pleasantlyfurious I am crossing fingers for you that you are just one of those women who is spared the nightmare of first trimester sickness. : SOMEONE deserves it - and I had more than my fair share so maybe I just took on some of yours.

angela I'm psyched to see another roller derby fan here and thanks for chiming in about hypnobirthing - that's exactly how I felt about it! Your perspective of how women could think "it hurts - I must be a hypnobirthing failure!" is spot on. It did help me to not tense up my body during contractions too but I certainly was not one of those serene women lying there in their beds with someone gently stroking the inside of my forearm. And if you actually did wake up coma patients, I bet their families were very, very grateful.

AAM: I feel like my hip sockets and my pelvis are going to dislocate at any given moment. I can sit in a good, happy uterus position but when I stand up I feel almost paralyzed. Do you think chiropractors ever get to a point of not wanting to see their patients as much as they do?! Wee Man is constantly moving and changing positions but at least he's keeping his head down. And yes, I did finally feel for the first time what my doula keeps asking me: "do you feel like your vagina is going to fall out?". I'm taking this all as a good sign because I never felt this way the first time because T never descended. What has been dubbed as the Big Lactation Experiment 2008 starts in 4 weeks when I start taking goat's rue hard-core to try to develop more milk glands... my herbalist is also going to make me a salve to apply to my breasts. So DW isn't so happy now that she isn't getting any (and I'm unhappy for her, too, and the fact that I am so horribly disinterested and tired) but once I start the titty balm (as my doula and I are calling it), not only am I going to be uninterested but poor wifey's going to be turned right off (she's not a fan of fenugreek!).

[lemurmommies]

Originally Posted by tigermiep

I get another 5 weeks from tomorrow to get it to move, or else we have to schedule a surgical birth.

Sending you placenta moving vibes. : Move, move!

Originally Posted by starling&diesel

Our one and only ultrasound was scheduled for this morning.

Ugh! That sucks! I'm really sorry about that. We were only planning on going in for an anatomical scan at 20 weeks, but now I'm being sent for a dating ultrasound since my cycle was long and we inseminated early and we still got pregnant. I'm excited but nervous.

Originally Posted by pleasantlyfurious

I'm having a little panic about not feeling pregnant at all. Until recently I chalked it up to still being early - and it is still early - 8 1/2 weeks - but I don't feel pregnant at all. No nausea, no constipation, no fatigue, nothing. Maybe I'm just extraordinarily lucky - but I'm really struggling to keep my worry in check.

I know what you mean about the worry. If it helps at all, I have not had any nausea at all really. No morning sickness to speak of. But I have had a TON of fatigue. I think every pregnancy is just different. If you haven't had any reason to worry, I'd try not to. Easier said than done, I know.

As for us, we're on The Mom Show today. Ack! We taped it so long ago, and it's weird to see us on TV. But it's a special about same-sex parents, so it's also cool to see. E looks so little on there, though. Even 5 months makes a big difference in a toddler.

[heart-n-bones]

Lemurmommies - How cool to be on TV!

[JenInMpls]

Wow, lemurmommies!!

(we need a starstruck smilie!)

[lemurmommies]

Based on a few e-mail and Facebook messages I got today, quite a few people watched it. Including our local LLL leader and my old boss. I'm just thankful it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.

[giggleblue]

jen, i'm over here laughing about that name you dreamed up!

[starling&diesel]

It's a ..........

..... BABY! :

Our fierce and fabulous midwife worked her magic wonders (and I did lot of praying and juju-dancing and spellcasting too) and we got in for our ultrasound yesterday! Ta da!

Because it is the health authority's policy not to disclose gender, or even look for it, we still have no idea if we're loving up a boy or girl. But being that DP is neither boy nor girl, I'm quite used to that.

The fabulous news is that everything is as it should be ... bijou is measuring right on schedule, we got to see the little heart in action, and we just about melted when we laid eyes on that beautiful, little profile. And the wee perfect feet! Swoon! The placenta is behaving, and my cervix is being suitably strong and hearty, so we are thrilled.

[heart-n-bones]

Yay for seeing the little one!! : :

[JenInMpls]

goodness, is there nothing that S&D juju-dancing CANNOT do?

hooray :

[starling&diesel]

Oh the almighty power of juju-dancing! Send in your requests, and I'll get my groove on for all of you lovelies.

And here is a picture of our little bijou ... it's a little blurry because it's a photo of a photo. But you can see the wee profile that set our hearts melting:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/22089658@N04/2909473459/

[smartycat]

Aw, I was kinda hoping for a puppy. :nana:

But seriously.. Congrats!! : I'm glad you were able to get in earlier and find out the baby was fine.