Solution to medicine problem.

[MommaFox]

OK, so this morning, my son proudly informed me that he'd "medicated" himself. I asked him with what. He said "water" (long, long pause) "And my pill." OK, so I'm supressing panic, and ask how many. "Just one." I need to make sure. I ask him how he got into the bottle, and he said it was half open. So, I ask DH to come out and please talk to his son while I count pills. He did only take one. So now I'm torn, b/c what he did was against the rules, but also very responsible and mature. We've decided to confine him to his room for two afternoons. We're still available to him, he can go to the restroom and such. It's a great improvement over what DH would have done just a year ago (I've finally broken him of spanking) and DS seems to be taking it alright, and understands why he's in trouble. The thing is, I feel that I've both done the right thing, and that I'm somehow squashing this mature behavior. Then I tell myself that medicines are dangerous, and he knew better than to take it without supervision (Even he admits this) so I'm not over-stepping my bounds at all. I just can't win.

[Ruthla]

"Grounding" him (confining him to his room for 2 afternoons) seems to be a pretty random consequence for taking medicine (in a safe manner) without asking. A more appropriate response would be to lock up the medicines or otherwise keep them out of his reach. Alternatively, maybe this is a sign that he's ready for more responsibility with the meds.

How old is he and what is this medication for? Is this something he needs to take daily, or something like tylenol because he has a headache? You don't need to give details of his health if you're not comfortable sharing; saying "he needs one pill a day for a chronic health condition" is enough information, if that's the case here.

[fek&fuzz]

Who left the bottle half open and within his reach?

I think that would be what needs to be fixed, and maybe just remind him that he should get you or his dad when he needs his meds.

Grounding him for taking his medication seems random.

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by fek&fuzz

Who left the bottle half open and within his reach?

I think that would be what needs to be fixed, and maybe just remind him that he should get you or his dad when he needs his meds.

Grounding him for taking his medication seems random.

Ya, that. I'd be praising him for only taking one, the way he knew he was supposed to, but explaining how he should never,EVER take any medication without me giving it to him, because it is dangerous, etc.
Sound like the ADULT who left the medicine within his reach is the one who needs "grounding".

[MommaFox]

He's 7, and he's on medicine that, among other things, helps to supress compulsive behavior. I thought it was out of his reach and I admit it was probably me who didn't close the bottle properly. He had to climb to get to it; he's very able to get to just about everything in the house and I don't have a good place to stash things and I'm not keen on buying a safe. Grounding seems a little random to me, too, but it's not only about getting the medicine. We asked him, point blank if it was something he was supposed to do, and he said, no it wasn't. It's more about him knowing he's not allowed to do something, and then doing it anyway.

[sapphire_chan]

Um... isn't poor self-control of impulses pretty typical for 7 year olds?

Won't grounding him just make him less likely to come to you in the future about this sort of thing? That's what I'd be worried about.

Could you use his natural inclination to keep you informed as a starting point for coming to you before doing things?

Can he open childproof caps? If he can't then the solution to the medicine problem is for you to just close the bottle properly.

[elizawill]

your approach may not be as gentle as others, but i'm very proud of you and your dh for handling this in a way that didn't involve spanking and yelling! good for you, mama!! I agree that 2 days in his room is harsher than what i would have personally done...but then again, it sounds like you are really moving in the right direction & getting away from how you may have handled this in the past!!! that is wonderful! GD is a process (at least for me it was/is). i think you're doing wonderful, and double kudos to you for coming here to reflect on the consequence you did choose. it sounds like you're a wonderful and carining mama really trying to grow and meet your child's needs.

[PikkuMyy]

I agree that while it is a good idea to supervise the pill-taking, I took a lot of pills at that age, and was capable of taking the correct amount each day. I mean, he only has to take one. That's not much to remember. So while you are certainly within the bounds of good safety precautions to not let him take them by himself, you might want to have a family discussion about the medication, his responsibilty with it, why he took it on his own, and why you aren't comfortable with that.

That is a reasonable reaction to the behavior. Not saying anything besides reminding him that he isn't supposed to and then giving him two whole afternoons of random grounding seems very pointless and arbitrary to me.

I do applaud your move away from spanking. But I think in this situation, you are aware of his maturity. Why not include him in a discussion about his meds?

[Roar]

I understand why you were scared and upset.

I won't suggest the punishment will cause some kind of lifelong trauma and yes as another poster said it is good you didn't hit him or yell at him. That said, I think the punishment is random and could potentially discourage him in the future from being honest with you. Given he announced to you what he did it indicates he had wasn't aware what he did was a problem. That is an indication that it is time to educate more carefully on this issue. It seems unfair that you'd punish a child because you'd failed to properly educate him and properly secure the medication.

To me this is like spanking for a kid going into the street. Spanking wouldn't make it safe for the kid to be unsupervised. Punishing your kid isn't a guarantee he will safely handle his medication without adequate supervision especially when he has problems with impulse control. What it may do is make him less likely to go to you when he has a problem. Given the stakes here are huge (a potential overdose could be terribly dangerous) I believe you have the responsibility to find a way to safely secure the medication and that includes buying a safe even if you don't want to. The other thing I would suggest is if he wants more responsibility here that you find a way to incorporate him into being responsible for his medication. Under supervision he could take it from a daily pack or mark it on the calendar, etc.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I think its really great that he took his medicine appropriately and very responsibly. I don't think I would punish that.

Maybe you could set out his morning pill in an old bottle, just placing one or two pills in it each day.

Maybe you could get a mediset, and allow him to use it and just fill it with the pills for that day each day.

[PikkuMyy]

Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie

I think its really great that he took his medicine appropriately and very responsibly. I don't think I would punish that.

Maybe you could set out his morning pill in an old bottle, just placing one or two pills in it each day.

Maybe you could get a mediset, and allow him to use it and just fill it with the pills for that day each day.

Brilliant idea!

[justice'smom]

Here's what I don't understand with gd, why would you get onto the parents for what the child did? Yes, mom admits the bottle was half open, but it was put away and he climbed to get it. He's 7. My 4 yr old knows better than that. Taking meds without mom or dad there can be very dangerous and I think something should be done to make sure he doesn't do it again. I think we should always remember to encourage the parents that come here for advice. Like this mama I am in the process right now of getting my husband and myself to stop spanking. I would like to know that I can come here and not be repramanded (sp) as the parent for my choice. Not the choice to spank because we are trying to get away from that. I mean my gd choices. I am learning.

[allgirls]

I believe this is a situation where the child and the parents can both learn. The parents now know that the child cannot resist his impulses sometimes. Since this is a developing skill he cannot be punished into it. And punishment may mean that he just won't tell you the next time he takes the pill which is even more dangerous.

But the child also has some responsibility in this. How I deal with things like this is it sit with the child and say something about how dangerous I felt this was and how can we make sure that I feel comfortable about the med situation and he feels somewhat more responsible.

The thing I have noticed with children is that things they wouldn't have considered doing at 4, 5 or 6 they might consider at a later age. That streak of independance and confidence sometimes over rules their impulse control. It often gets even worse in the teen years.

So often we have to back track, resist the urge to punish the heck out of them for "knowing better" and go back to the lesson being taught to both the parent and the child.

The parent now knows the meds have to be put away, that he can't quite be trusted to follow the guidelines set out. We all, parents and children learn along the way.

I wouldn't punish for this, I would talk talk talk and take more precautions in the future because I think this would be a more effective way to deal with it.

[aaronsmom]

I'm also a bit confused as to why he was punished. It sounds to me like he told you because he was proud of himself. Maybe he felt mature and "all grown up"? I agree with a pp that mentioned maybe you could set out one pill a day in an old pill bottle so he can have a little more responsibility without having access to all of the medication.

[mistymama]

It sounds like he was trying to be grown up, and may be ready for more responsibility.

My 5 (almost 6) year old takes a chewable Singulair pill daily at bedtime. He really likes to get his own pill, take it out of the bottle and chew it all on his own. We've made it a part of the bedtime routine to get me or his dad to help get the bottle down, then he opens it and takes his own pill. Maybe something like that would work?

I really don't get having to stay in his room two afternoons. That's the sort of punishment (grounding) my parents used to do to me, and all it did was make me quit telling them stuff, and eventually hiding things from them to avoid punishment.

[octobermom]

I understand the panic but grounding is really not going to help.. What I would do is try to work out a way of allowing him some more independance in this area..
a a question?
1) is this a tempory medication or one he will be on long term?
eaither way but especially is its long term it might be time to allow him the responsiblity of taking it himself.. (with you guide and ultimate supervision of course)
Makinga chart that indicates when his pill is to be taken and how can help. Say after dinner and mommy or daddy to see.
a day of the week pill case can help give him some controll in making sure he doesn't do too much.

Deanna