What's stressing you out right now? - Page 2

[cellarstella]

janasmama

I was really depressed about this pregnancy for a little over the first half, too. I've found positive things about it and it's gotten me through and now I'm excited... but I can see how having another child as well could really make it feel like a burden. I felt so guilty and stupid and overwhelmed, and I only have one toddler! A big part of my guilt was over her weaning before she would have had I not gotten pregnant.

Take some time to let those feelings out... I've done lot of crying in the shower . Talk to your baby, and some things will come out and you'll find that there are some good things about this little blessing in disguise. I said some really horrible things, too, and it helped to just get those things out. Feel those movements, ponder this new personality, and try to make peace with both yourself and your new child. You're tough enough for this challenge! Kids don't stay little forever.

I'm having a UC and I knew that if I wanted the birth to go as I plan (no transfer!) then I *needed* to do as much personal reflection as I could. I'm at a much better place now than even 2 months ago. I think DD and I have gotten closer as a result of my more positive feelings as well.

Hang in there, mama! Mothering is the toughest job in the world, and you're doing it. I'm sure your other children will fully embrace this new addition, and seeing that love grow will make it all worth it.

[mynetname]

Right now...in the middle of a contraction...messages from work have me stressing.
Being in a creative field, certain things just can't be replaced when I am not there running things, so I have turned off my mobile and would like to forget about it for a while. Certain deadlines can't be missed and I don't want to think about it. I am just concentrating on Baby that wants to come out
Some people don't get it and are quite happy to be emailing me with very silly issues that apparently i need to resolve. Sheesh.

Maybe the computer goes away for a while

[janasmama]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words Cellarstella...

It's good to know that I'm not the only mama saying/thinking awful things. I really am trying to work on getting these negative feelings out and making some new positive ones.

[allisonrose]

1. My hubby definitely. He's so busy with work that he has no time or energy to make or discuss baby decisions.
We don't have a pediatrician yet but this isn't bothering him.
I would like for him to look at the info on Vit K that I printed out but no time/energy. I want to make that decision before I'm in labor and want him to be informed.
He wants to have the baby baptized in his faith. I have no issue with this but also no real interest in having it done. But now the friends who he wants to be godparents can't come out as soon as they planned and something has to be figured out about the situation and I have a sneaking suspicion that it'll fall on my shoulders.
Then there's the camcorder that he researched and picked out then realized once he opened it at home that it lacks a feature he wanted. Guess who'll probably be going back to the store to return it.... Yup, me.

2. My GBS+ status. While I requested to be retested, I worry that it'll just be positive again or that even it comes back negative that everyone will want to treat me as positive anyway. I didn't want to start right off with interventions but I know as GBS+ I'll get tons of pressure to go the antibiotics/IV/saline lock route.

[tropacana]

Im stressed because my baby is still breech and im still planning a homebirth.. so I have no idea how the birth will go and what the unexpected will be. I keep praying that my baby and I will be safe.

[peanbugsmom]

The swelling in my feet and ankles. Hoping to avoid pre-E these last days and keep my homebirth. No other symptoms but with Chronic HB and two prior hospital births with midwives that convinced me I could not possibly escape Pre-E (I did!) I am holding my breath.

I am also stressed about the weather and keeping my house together until I go into labor. I know its silly but the thought of going into labor with a messy house and hot weather makes me anxious only because I know it will drive me crazy. We live in the Inland Empire with no AC so I am hoping the weather cools off some before labor starts.

I am also worried about developing PPD this time around . I had it twice before mildly to moderately but it was a miserable and scary time. I think there are certain things that could trigger it or make it worse. We have since moved away from my family and many good friends( but I have made friends here and my inlaws moved here), its our last baby and my husband was diagnosed with bipolar two years ago. While he is doing very well I am worried about the extra stress of three children etc. This time though I have been proactive and actually talked about it a lot with my family friends and midwife who will be on the lookout. Before I kept it all to myself and suffered alone so maybe getting it out in the open and having a support system and support measures will prevent it or keep it mild.

[Sock]

1. My husband. I love him, but his worrying is stressing me out and my worrying is stressing him out (and we worry about different things so there is a lot of worry).

2. My work. I freelance, so I'm trying to tie up loose ends. It doesn't help that I haven't told my clients that I am pregnant. I fear that if I tell them, they will just move onto somebody else. I don't plan on taking that much time off of work, and lately I have only been working with old clients, but I don't know how to manage everything!

3. Going to the hospital. I'm doing hypnobirthing, so I've been visualizing my birth experience, and everything goes well until I get to the hospital... Then I become a raving lunatic. I become a wild animal and won't let anyone touch me. I have to go to the hospital (no homebirth for me ), so I don't know how to get over this.

4. Being alone during labor/before labor/after labor. I told my husband that I wasn't staying at the hospital after I gave birth, but I don't know how realistic this demand is. I can imagine something being wrong with the baby and being forced to stay in order to take care of the baby breast feed. Well, there isn't any room for DH to stay/sleep. In fact, with 3 women (and their babies if they are born yet) in a room, I can't imagine not going nuts.

5. My bad NST test. I don't know why I let them give me these tests, but my test yesterday showed that the baby was moving too much... Now they have me on oxygen... Twice a day... Which means that I walk (waddle?!) 30 minutes to the hospital (we have no car, and I've been forbidden to ride my bicycle), sit for 30 minutes to get the oxygen and then walk 30 minutes home. It's not stressful, but just annoying, especially since I am tired and uncomfortable. I didn't even know that a baby moving too much was bad (I still can't find any information that says this), nor that getting oxygen is going to help anything. I just do it to keep the peace with my husband, who thinks that doctors are god.

Thanks for listening!

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I woke up yesterday with a sorethroat and runny nose. My due date was yesterday and today i'm feeling all sinus yucky...lo energy...just not up to par. Other than that everything else is great.

[cellarstella]

Sock

I just feel so bad for you reading your post! I know what it's like to freelance and have loose ends... that was how it was last pregnancy, and they knew I was pregnant!

No pregnant mama should have to walk an hour a day. I mean, you can if you want, but it shouldn't be demanded of you! I've never heard of "baby is moving too much," being a bad thing either. All I can think of is that statistically babies move less as they get close to being born... but what would oxygen do? It does sound really weird.

I'm majorly afraid of hospitals too. I'm lucky I don't have to compromise, though. I think I'd be having fantasies of locking myself in the bathroom and not coming out until I'm holding a newborn!

Hopefully the hypnobirthing helps you focus and not be bothered too much by the hospital atmosphere. Just remember women can birth anywhere, even hospitals!

[cellarstella]

Originally Posted by Mamato3wild ponnie

I woke up yesterday with a sorethroat and runny nose. My due date was yesterday and today i'm feeling all sinus yucky...lo energy...just not up to par. Other than that everything else is great.

oh no! this is a big fear of mine... though realistically I know labor is such a huge event that it would completely overshadow sniffles. And the baby is very unlikely to get sick after getting antibodies both through the placenta and breastmilk. : that this passes quickly and you are in the peak of health when baby makes the big appearance!

[SkyMomma]

Originally Posted by Sock

3. Going to the hospital. I'm doing hypnobirthing, so I've been visualizing my birth experience, and everything goes well until I get to the hospital... Then I become a raving lunatic. I become a wild animal and won't let anyone touch me. I have to go to the hospital (no homebirth for me ), so I don't know how to get over this.

4. Being alone during labor/before labor/after labor. I told my husband that I wasn't staying at the hospital after I gave birth, but I don't know how realistic this demand is. I can imagine something being wrong with the baby and being forced to stay in order to take care of the baby breast feed. Well, there isn't any room for DH to stay/sleep. In fact, with 3 women (and their babies if they are born yet) in a room, I can't imagine not going nuts.

I was in the hospital with DS1 (transfer from the Birth Center due to complications). Some thoughts...I don't think being a wild animal during labor is really that bad , acutally could be a good way to be sure you aren't touched if you don't want to be. But you may think about bringing what you may need to transform the space into the nurturing, calm environment that would support you're hypnobirthing focus. With DS1 we brought music & a cd player, cloths to cover the TV & fetal monitor, flowers, lavendar essential oil to drip onto the pillows, etc. We left the hospital 8 hours after he was born, almost AMA...You can leave as soon as you feel ready. Good luck! I hope you are able to create the peace you wish & that your birth is beautiful & you & the baby healthy and strong - no matter where you are.



What's stressing me out right now? My Mom is coming into town tomorrow night. Originallly I really wanted her here for the babies birth, she can be a great help, gave birth to my youngest brother UC @ home, is super practical, energetic & organized. Now, tho, all I want to do is hibernate with my DS & DH & not see anyone as we wait for this little one to show up. We have a small place, she lives far away, I don't see a way out of this visit. Not even sure I want to change things---just feeling totally erratic & emotional right now. Blegh.

[spanica]

I'm stressed out by my doctors telling me I probably won't be "allowed" to go a week over my (IMO way too early) due date, which isn't even until tomorrow! I know I should shrug it off, but it irks me that they felt the need to "threaten" me with it when I'm not even overdue yet. : Leave me alone, doc! Baby will come when s/he's good and ready!

[spanica]

Originally Posted by Sock

2. My work. I freelance, so I'm trying to tie up loose ends. It doesn't help that I haven't told my clients that I am pregnant. I fear that if I tell them, they will just move onto somebody else.

I hear you on that one. I freelance too, and I waited until just a few weeks ago to tell some of my clients. Only one of them took it poorly, but he's a jerk anyway. I am also concerned that it will be hard to get back into the business once I'm ready for work again. I hope that they won't have forgotten me by then!

[Sock]

Originally Posted by spanica

I'm stressed out by my doctors telling me I probably won't be "allowed" to go a week over my (IMO way too early) due date, which isn't even until tomorrow! I know I should shrug it off, but it irks me that they felt the need to "threaten" me with it when I'm not even overdue yet. : Leave me alone, doc! Baby will come when s/he's good and ready!

Don't let them bully you into something that you don't want. Remember, it's often a chain reaction! I'm getting the same pressure (but from random people, not from the doctors) telling me that I should check myself into the hospital because my due date has passed. I look at them shake my head and wonder what they are thinking. If I had problems, I would go to the hospital, until then, I just want to be left alone. It's not like going to the hospital is going to make the baby come and faster (naturally, that is).

Good luck!

[PassionateWriter]

Originally Posted by janasmama

My biggest thing stressing me out right now is the fact that I'm going to have a third child and I can barely deal with the two I have that are 4 and under. I fear that my labor may not go as well as planned b/c I feel very closed off to actually 'having' this baby. I feel like I will not relax and allow the baby to come out.

My simple post doesn't even really explain my feelings. I cry about this and feel somewhat depressed. I even have teary eyes as I write.

im so sorry you are feeling this way. I spoke w/ DP last night and he voiced some fears that he has never voiced before and i found it strange (at this stage in the game) but everyone has a way of coping /w fear. I dealt w/ mine in the beginning b/c i had to decide whether i was going to UC or not when i had a hard time finding a MW. I have come to terms with stillbirth, shoulder dysl., UR, etc. etc. but one of the things that does keep getting stuck in my head is what my 2 yo is going to do and what if the baby doesnt come out?? I can't control my 2 yo's feelings at the time and have back up for that if necessary but man, after 3 kids, you would think i would KNOW that teh baby WILL come out...one way or the other! lol! So...i can totally relate to what you are saying. I agree w/ a pp...try to give yourself some time and space to deal w/ this issue. You baby WILL come out.

Originally Posted by allisonrose

1. My hubby definitely. He's so busy with work that he has no time or energy to make or discuss baby decisions.

i guess this is where i can vent about this. DP's work is really really busy right now. They are being purchased by a Fortune 500 company; they are having new computers delivered this week. He worked last weekend and has worked 2 nights a week this week and is planning on working this weekend and next weekend (2 days before my EDD) he is scheduled to work overnight Friday night an hour and a half away. This is completely stressing me out right now. He is getting 2 weeks paternity leave and we havent taken ANY of his 4 week vacation, so we were going to use 2 weeks of it after the paternity leave so he would be home for a month. That is NOT going to happen (but im sure they will suck his time off up anyway..even if they do call him). I get this...I really do..his job is important. When ds2 was born I don't think there was a day that my firm didn't call me to talk to me about work (i had 6 weeks off). In hindsight, though, I feel like I should have told them to go screw...but w/ DP's job being the one we depend on, thats kind of hard to do. ;(

Originally Posted by tropacana

Im stressed because my baby is still breech and im still planning a homebirth.. so I have no idea how the birth will go and what the unexpected will be. I keep praying that my baby and I will be safe.

Breech babies will come out too. Try not to stress about it. Have you watched any birthing videos of breech home births? I hope he/she turns but if not, I hope you have a beautiful breech birth.

[lcaitlin]

I'm stressed about a number of petty things that I expect (hope!) will melt away when birthing time comes.

But my biggest stress/worry this morning is being exhausted during labor. I'm SO tired! I've been doing way too much. It feels great to be so productive with this amazing nesting energy, and crossing things off my list helps alleviate stresses, but I haven't been able to rest properly for weeks. Even when I go to bed at a reasonable time, my mind races, I can't get comfortable, and once I'm up for the first of many bathroom breaks it's really hard to go back to sleep. and I'm a terrible napper.

I just know for me how everything seems/feels worse when I'm tired, and I want to be better rested going into labor!

[KellyandKatie]

Thank you ladies for this thread, I appreciate that everyone is so open and honest about their feelings, yet at teh same time, not drugded in negativity-- I am working so hard on not getting bogged down with negative comments and thoughts
Thank you for sharing yourselves, and helping me find words and a place for my own feelings
My DH is definatly my biggest stresser right now. He just got home from a deployment, and i know it takes him some time to adjust to not being out to sea with a bunch of sailors and for him to transition back into being husband and daddy- and I KNOW that one of biggest stressers was IF he was going to make it home in time at all for this baby- so I should feel very grateful- and I do- but --
This is the problem prehaps- my first two births were sooo SOOOOO wonderful, and maybe teh endorphines that clouded how wonderful he was a birth partner have given me unrealistic expectations for him- but he is SO not being what I want or need right now- how unfair is that?
I know I am being selfish trying to get ready for me to have this baby- trying to get into the right place and being so totally self centered on having my baby--- but he is being selfish too ( I think) and while I can understand why he is, and what he is feeling-- I feel like I should not have to be understanding of his needs right now-- and I know that this is not the right way to feel- but there it is Thanks for listening mamas- I feel better having said it

[PassionateWriter]

kelly, i can so relate to that. im trying so hard to understand my DP but its not easy....bc...well, i just dont understand him. im trying though. baby is going to come whether or not i understand him or he understands me. i just want my birthing time to be peaceful.

[hsofia]

Hmm, things stressing me out:

Not too much, actually. I decided a week or so ago to just let a lot of the stress go. I'd been very stressed about baby's heart condition, her first surgery, getting third opinions, etc. and how the whole hospital birth was going to go (I'd originally planned on a water birth, but plans have been foiled).

But now I've put the worrying aside on those big things, I'm only stressed a little bit about things closer to home: mainly finances. Hubby is almost three months behind in receiving paychecks, and we need money soon to pay important bills. He should be done "any day" with his current work project, but that's been the case for a month. I'm a little worried about how much the birthing costs are going to be ... we have water birth center fees, plus impending hospital fees.

And I'd like to make a little more progress on cleaning out my office. I want to be able to go into labor and give birth without worrying about my house being dirty or messy when I return.