Asked to go to the bathroom in Macy's

[voicegrrl]

I just typed all of this out and it didn't post so here we go again. DH and I were in Macy's Saturday afternoon. I sat down in a chair in the men's department to nurse DD while he was buying a jacket. I noticed a lady hovering, she worked there, and she finally came over to me and asked if i wanted to go upstairs to the bathroom. I'm assuming she meant the ladies lounge because there are plenty of bathrooms downstairs and she kept asking me if I wanted to go upstairs to the bathroom. Not that it matters anyway. I told her no, I was just fine where I was and she asked me a couple of more times. She had customers waiting for her so she went to take care of them but kept checking me out. DD wasn't hungry anymore and DH came back so we got up and left. I didn't say anything to her even though a million things were running through my mind. I honestly thought if something like that happened to me I could be all cool and spout off a bunch of wisecracks about her eating her lunch in the bathroom, but it made me so angry I was about to blow. I didn't think that going off on her at that moment was going to solve a thing so I just calmed myself down. This is my 4th baby and I have been nursing in public for the last 7 years, even twins!

I would really like to call the store and tell them they need to educate their employees on the laws. I'm asking for your advice. I'm in NC so we are well within the law of being able to breastfeed in public...thanks!

[hedgehogs4]

: That sucks. Good for you for saying no. I would write a letter, including the date, time and department you were in and address it to the GM and cc corporate headquaters consumer relations... i'm sure other posters will be able to guide you as to the content.... It's great that you are willing to act - imagine if this happened to a woman who had only been nursing 2 months with her first baby rather your wonderful nursing history of 7 years.

[iamama]

Yes I would call and/or write.

[1littlebit]

Originally Posted by iamama

Yes I would call and/or write.

agreed. and good for your for saying no .. and for not going off on her i know its hard when something like this happens. i get so mad i cant not say something it just sort of explodes out like a volcano. Hopefully Macy's will handle this correctly.

[GuavaGirl]

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

[lerlerler]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

I NEVER cover up. I hate and my baby hates it as well

In my opinion, it's NOT relevant. Unless you are disrobing completely? It's all good. I actually think nursing WITHOUT a blanket is more discreet... a baby in a lap/arms snuggled up? Must be sleeping, smile and keep walking... a BLANKET over a baby? ANd even I look twice.

Blankets should only be used if the MOTHER is self-concious.. everyone else can look away, walk away or get over themselves.

[moderngal]

Good for you for saying no. I would write a letter, including the date, time and department you were in and address it to the GM and cc corporate headquaters consumer relations...

:

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something.

No. And per the laws in my city and state, I don't need to cover up and nipple exposure during the course of nursing is not indecent.

[voicegrrl]

I thought about including it in the OP about the covered up thing, but I really don't think it matters. I had a blanket wrapped around DD to cover up my belly (not boobies) ;-) because i was nursing in a dress over some leggings and I didn't want to show my stretch marks off to the store. I had this huge dress/shirt on so between that and DD's head, nothing was exposed. There was really no way for that woman to know what I was doing except she probably saw me latching DD on a few times, she's at that distracted age. So in this case, No, nothing was exposed, but again i don't think that matters. Another point that shouldn't make any difference, I wasn't in the middle of the store, I was in a chair tucked away in the back of a bunch of clothes. The store clerk was the only one that was even in that area the entire time. It clearly made her uncomfortable. She wasn't worried about anyone else.

[rmzbm]

Yup, write a letter. And covering makes nothing different. I never cover, see no reason to.
Sorry that happened, OP!

[MaryJaneLouise]

Be sure to report this discrimination to FirstRight

http://www.firstright.org/

[MommyJoia]

um, yeah, you should call and write a letter!!! That's harassment. The employee harassed a nursing mother while nursing her baby.

SUMMARY OF ENACTED BREASTFEEDING LEGISLATION
NORTH CAROLINA

North Carolina, in 1993, exempted breastfeeding from the criminal statutes, and at the same time, clarified that women have the right to breastfeed in public, even if there is exposure of the breast.

N.C. Gen. Stat. sec. 14-190.9
1993 N.C. ALS 301; 1993 N.C. Sess. Laws 301; 1993 N.C. Ch. 301; 1993 N.C. HB 1143

"§ 14-190.9. Indecent exposure.
(B) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

http://www.llli.org/Law/Bills31.html

[MaryJaneLouise]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

Why does it matter if she covers with a blanket?

[MommyJoia]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

why does that matter? no offense, but this question actually really bothers me, It's like asking a woman who was raped if she was wearing a sexy outfit. It doesn't matter if she was covered up or not, when you breastfeed your baby you are providing your baby his or her basic human right to eat as well as executing your own basic human right to feed said baby. The employee was harassing a breastfeeding mother while feeding her baby, end of story. Even if she pulled her entire double D breast (I have no idea what size OP's breasts are, I'm just making a point) out and waited 60 seconds for her dc to latch on, it doesn't matter because she was feeding her child.

[KBecks]

I think it would be good to tell anyone hovering "Would you please leave me alone?" -- there was no point for her to bother you once you said you were fine.

I think you should call Macy's and talk to the store manager. I think that you should explain that your husband was there making a purchase and you felt harassed by the employee while you were waiting and feeding your child. Then tell them about the law protecting you to feed anywhere and ask for better education of their staff. I think that's a perfectly reasonable thing to do, and they should thank you for you letting them know about this problem in their service. Because it is bad service to make a mother feel uncomfortable in their store.

[flowers]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

this post bothered me too. It's something I expect to endure from a confused relative or something, not here at mdc. I guess I am the one with assumptions.

When I had my first son 4 years ago my dad was encouraging me to nurse in the other room when his dad (my grandad) was visiting. My papa poo-pood him and told stories of being in Japan in WWII and how the women would squat and nurse anywhere...waiting for the bus...waiting in line....and it was such not a big deal that he's spent his life wondering what Americans are so uptight about. Go papa Go!

[flowers]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

You know guavagirl, I apologize for being so blunt. I just looked and realized you are new and have not nursed a baby yet. So this is a great learning experience!

You could cover up with a blankie or whatever when the baby is a newborn, but one of the major advantages of bfing is eye contact and intimacy with your babe so this is a little..."hey your head is under a blanket- maybe no one will notice we are nursing."
Then once they are even 4-6 months all bets are off. They are grabbing and yanking and a blanket would serve as a distraction rather than any help. Also, I have spent many, many hours among nurslings of all ages being nursed and maybe I have seen a breast 2 or 3 times? Those times were also at LLL or at a private home where the mom may be a little more loose persay.

There is this Hathor the Cowgoddess cartoon where she responds to someone suggesting to "cover up" and she goes over the the magazine rack and opens the mag "JUGS" over her nursling. He then pops that off and she says something like, "not even that works"

[Mommoo]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

That's not how I personally nurse in public. My son would never have me covering his head. Also, I am claustrophobic so I can't imagine putting blanket over my baby's head. Besides, I am not required to, it's perfectly within our rights to nurse anywhere in public. I tend to be as discreet as possible, but that's because I'm a shy person. Our breasts are for feeding our children, I like the pp's comment about the "Jugs" magazine as a cover up because that's just it - society has over-sexualized breasts imho.
I have only ever received one rude comment, and it was while I was trying to latch a screaming baby in a sling while walking down the street, trying to get home.

[Turquesa]

To the OP: A recent issue of Mothering had an article written by a mother who got harassed by a Pottery Barn employee. The mother responded by contacting the CEO of Williams Sonoma, the parent company. The CEO, also a breastfeeding mother, immediately kicked into action. Besides apologizing for the incident, she responded with a lactivist education campaign for all employees.

You should read it to find out what specific steps the nursing mom took. The article is not yet available on Mothering's site, but I wanted to mention it for encouragement.

[flowers]

Originally Posted by Turquesa

To the OP: A recent issue of Mothering had an article written by a mother who got harassed by a Pottery Barn employee. The mother responded by contacting the CEO of Williams Sonoma, the parent company. The CEO, also a breastfeeding mother, immediately kicked into action. Besides apologizing for the incident, she responded with a lactivist education campaign for all employees.

You should read it to find out what specific steps the nursing mom took. The article is not yet available on Mothering's site, but I wanted to mention it for encouragement.

I thought the same thing! I bet mothering would help you contact her! She made a big difference!

[voicegrrl]

You guys are great! This is why I wanted to wait before I took action. You've given me some options I didn't think about before. I will try to find the article about the Pottery Barn incident. I also haven't mentioned that I am a member of the media. If Macy's chooses not to hear what I have to say and has a response to the situation that I don't like, I won't have any problem taking it public so that people are educated.