Asked to go to the bathroom in Macy's - Page 3

[paquerette]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

Some women are apparently more comfortable covered up when NIPing, is that really so difficult for some of us to understand? I don't cover as I'm way too lazy and unorganised to make sure I've got something to cover with all the time, but honestly couldn't care less if other women choose to cover, especially if it encourages them to NIP. Why on earth do we have to feel comfortable with flashing our boobs in public to claim lactivism?

But that's what makes it relevant. Some women are more comfortable not covered, some are more comfortable covered. Some are more comfortable in sexy clothes, some are more comfortable in modest clothes. We should all have the choice to be out in public how we are, in either instance, without suffering consequences from society and told that we're asking for it if we're not doing what some people would deem modest and appropriate. In that sense, it's related.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

No, it really, really isn't like that at all. I say that as both a rape survivor and NIPer.

Some women are apparently more comfortable covered up when NIPing, is that really so difficult for some of us to understand?

I don't recall anyone talking about that or criticizing those who cover up, but any suggestion that women should cover up or "why don't women cover up, it's not so bad" is going to get a passionate response.

[LoobyLoo]

Originally Posted by Emmeline II

I don't recall anyone talking about that or criticizing those who cover up, but any suggestion that women should cover up or "why don't women cover up, it's not so bad" is going to get a passionate response.

Talking about covering up negatively in this thread:
"why does that matter? no offense, but this question actually really bothers me, It's like asking a woman who was raped if she was wearing a sexy outfit."
"When we feed our children from our breasts, but don't allow ourselves to make eye contact with them, we are telling them that this is somehow a shameful activity. Something to hide or be embarrassed about."
"Cover up with a blankie???Why?"

etc. GuavaGirl didn't suggest that anyone should cover up, so there's not much reason for a passionate response, and I consider ill-considered rape analogies to be a passionate response. Sorry, it's just a pet peeve of mine in this forum, that apparently it's not enough to simply NIP. As Grylliade pointed out, it doesn't make any difference to those offended by NIP if the woman's covered up or not, so any kind of nursing in public is a political act, regardless of whether or not hooter hiders are in use (sorry, I think the name is brilliant, although it still wouldn't persuade me to use one). I agree with elizaMM:

Originally Posted by elizaMM

I believe that a mother should have the right to breastfeed any way she likes and a baby should have a right to eat any way s/he like

and that's not a view always supported in this forum, which I think is a real pity.

[MommyJoia]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

No, it really, really isn't like that at all. I say that as both a rape survivor and NIPer.

Some women are apparently more comfortable covered up when NIPing, is that really so difficult for some of us to understand? I don't cover as I'm way too lazy and unorganised to make sure I've got something to cover with all the time, but honestly couldn't care less if other women choose to cover, especially if it encourages them to NIP. Why on earth do we have to feel comfortable with flashing our boobs in public to claim lactivism? I am, but I can see why others might not be. I just don't get why some mamas here find that difficult to understand. Why care how other mamas are NIPing, as long as they are NIPing? Plus I can try to gaze as lovingly into DD's eyes as I want while NIPing but she is always far more interested in what's happening behind me...

Well done to the OP for following this up rather than just stewing impotently and then not doing anything about it, which would've been the easier option

you know what, as a NIPer and a rape survivor, it is! feeding your baby is a basic human right and when women are harassed in public, sometimes this is enough for a woman to stop NIPing, sometimes it traumatizes women so much they give up breastfeeding all together. Not all breastfeeding moms have thick skins and most are already uncomfortable with NIP before some UAV harasses them in public. As far as the rape victim analogy, if it bothers you so much, I'm sorry. The analogy is correct: women have the basic human right to exist, wear whatever they want and not get raped while walking down the street and breastfeeding moms have the basic human right to feed their babies when they are hungry without being harassed.

I never said women should not cover up, I only said that the question bothered me because it shouldn't matter. It struck a chord with me from my own personal rape experience when I was telling about it and the person I was telling asked me, "what were you wearing". Those questions should not be asked, they are not relevant.

I NIP all the time. Sometimes I cover up, sometimes I don't. I'm not cool with the hooter hider, I think those things bring more attention than a small burp cloth over the top of the breast, but whatever, to each her own!

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

Talking about covering up negatively in this thread:
"why does that matter? no offense, but this question actually really bothers me, It's like asking a woman who was raped if she was wearing a sexy outfit." etc. GuavaGirl didn't suggest that anyone should cover up, so there's not much reason for a passionate response, and I consider ill-considered rape analogies to be a passionate response.

This may be offensive to you, but it fits. Considering how hostile the US is to NIP, when someone asks this it can seem that they are implying that the victim "asked for" the harassment by not NIP in a socially acceptable manner.

"When we feed our children from our breasts, but don't allow ourselves to make eye contact with them, we are telling them that this is somehow a shameful activity. Something to hide or be embarrassed about."
"Cover up with a blankie???Why?"

Sorry, it's just a pet peeve of mine in this forum, that apparently it's not enough to simply NIP. As Grylliade pointed out, it doesn't make any difference to those offended by NIP if the woman's covered up or not, so any kind of nursing in public is a political act, regardless of whether or not hooter hiders are in use (sorry, I think the name is brilliant, although it still wouldn't persuade me to use one). I agree with elizaMM: and that's not a view always supported in this forum, which I think is a real pity.

True, the covered also experience harassment, but I have seen far more post where people were asked to cover up.

I think that when you are doing something out of the mainstream there is a tendency to be defensive and aggressive over perceived encroachment on your rights. I think many here want to eliminate the expectation that they should cover, not that no one should cover.

[mleavell]

Glad you got a good response from the store. I always loved nursing in Macy's. I used to head on back to the furniture department and sit on the most comfortable couch. I never had to worry about customers seeing me (who buys furniture in Macy's? ) and there were hardly any workers back there. Occasionally a staff member would walk by but all I ever got were smiles.

[bvnms]

Originally Posted by GuavaGirl

Question.

So I hear a lot of stories like this on here and I'm always wondering "Are you covered up?" ...with a little blankie or something. I've seen some mom's breastfeeding like that in public. I'm just wondering if that's how everyone breastfeeds in public,(covered with a blankie) when they get these rude comments from employees.

-Thanks.

The last time I would have had to cover up, I was at church and I had this dress on that I had to pull all the way up. I just took Steph and went into another room. I wouldn't have even had that dress on but for thinking that Steph was not going to want to nurse then. I haven't covered up since she was a small baby and I still got dirty looks then. Now, I just figure it's not really my problem if someone else has an issue with me feeding a baby.

[kayleesmom]

i would definitely call and write\

[Doula Dani]

Originally Posted by voicegrrl

I just typed all of this out and it didn't post so here we go again. DH and I were in Macy's Saturday afternoon. I sat down in a chair in the men's department to nurse DD while he was buying a jacket. I noticed a lady hovering, she worked there, and she finally came over to me and asked if i wanted to go upstairs to the bathroom. I'm assuming she meant the ladies lounge because there are plenty of bathrooms downstairs and she kept asking me if I wanted to go upstairs to the bathroom. Not that it matters anyway. I told her no, I was just fine where I was and she asked me a couple of more times. She had customers waiting for her so she went to take care of them but kept checking me out. DD wasn't hungry anymore and DH came back so we got up and left. I didn't say anything to her even though a million things were running through my mind. I honestly thought if something like that happened to me I could be all cool and spout off a bunch of wisecracks about her eating her lunch in the bathroom, but it made me so angry I was about to blow. I didn't think that going off on her at that moment was going to solve a thing so I just calmed myself down. This is my 4th baby and I have been nursing in public for the last 7 years, even twins!

I would really like to call the store and tell them they need to educate their employees on the laws. I'm asking for your advice. I'm in NC so we are well within the law of being able to breastfeed in public...thanks!

Hmmm...I breastfeed in Macy's all the time!!!!! I would send an email about it. I bet they're horribly sorry and send you some sort of coupon. I've encountered one or two snooty people working there (one who REFUSED basically to sell me make up when I was over due with my last son and feeling ugly and depressed hissssssssss.) That's rare for me there though, I generally love it. It's one of the only places I'll shop for clothes.