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WWYD...Head LICE!!! And Social Issues - Page 4

post #61 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
I think that if you let your kids play continually with lice-infested neighbors, what you end up with is a long-term infestation of parasites on your head.
That didn't happen with us during our several-year friendship with another family (with several girls) who often had lice.

This mom became somewhat more laid-back about it than I was, I guess because she'd been dealing with it, almost continuously, for such a long time (not totally continuously, but pretty frequently). She was always honest about it, though. I felt that refusing to let my oldest play with these girls (or even saying we'd only play when they were lice-free) would deprive her of some wonderful friendships.

I just kept checking her head. Actually, one of the three times we got lice, it seems doubtful that we got it from that family, I really have no idea where we got it that time. But we never had anything like a "long-term infestation."

I guess it's just a matter of personal values, which each individual weighs differently. I have one friend who's decided her children can never spend the night at their friends' homes, because she let her oldest and then her oldest got lice. So no overnights.

That seems severe to me, and rather limiting for the kids -- but who am I to say what another mother should do? I didn't comment to her because she never asked for my opinion.
post #62 of 172
This issue is hard for me. DD got lice from a neighbor last December we STILL are dealing with it. nothing works the OTC stuff doesn't the robi comb the olive oil (seriously these things swim around in the stuff all happy as can be) tea tree oil on and on. The only thing that has helped is me being absoultly villigent about combing lots of conditioner that alt least stuns them for a bit and white vinager rinses (to lossen the eggs) I'd managed to keep her bug free for many month now because I cath it RIGHT at the start before they hatch but if something happens and I dare to not check a few days they come back.. I've told neighbors our stuggle I've told parents of playmates ect but after almost a full year I have to now be carefull on how many truly know. DD school had a no not policy and I'm willing to enforce if shes activly showing an infestation but at the same time if I went by any sign she'd neer be in school and she'd never be allowed outside the house. I don't want to withhold or lie to anyone but its just getting to b a difficult situation all around. When it comes down to it while VERY VERY SUPER annoying lice are not life threatening and I do have to weight this in my overall decession.

Deanna
post #63 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
I've told neighbors our stuggle I've told parents of playmates ect but after almost a full year I have to now be carefull on how many truly know...I don't want to withhold or lie to anyone but its just getting to b a difficult situation all around. When it comes down to it while VERY VERY SUPER annoying lice are not life threatening and I do have to weight this in my overall decession.

Deanna
Deanna, Thanks for sharing! I think your story may help some understand why some parents just quit telling people.

I hope maybe you find a solution on this thread that helps!
post #64 of 172
Hi all, I posted on the first page of this thread. Just popping back in to say that back in the day, when my family was waging a battle against recurrent lice (when I was in high school--uh, can you say, mortifying?). My Mom finally got worried about the chemical treatments (this was in the early 80's--we didn't know from homeopathic) and we put CRISCO on our heads, topped it off with plastic bags and left it on overnight. Kinda the same principal as the olive or coconut oil treatment...smother 'em...and it worked! Deanna have you tried crisco? Maybe the flat out lard would smother those stubborn lice more than the olive oil? I don't know. Could be worth a shot.

Also what brands of tea tree oil and rosemary shampoo are people using? This thread inconjuction with DD starting pre-school is making me want to be pro-active on the lice thing.
post #65 of 172
Well if the parents just dont care then I dont think there is much you can do. Maybe send them some lice treatment stuff, or say "you know, we are just getting done with lice, this and this really worked well for us"
post #66 of 172
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Deanna, Thanks for sharing! I think your story may help some understand why some parents just quit telling people.

I hope maybe you find a solution on this thread that helps!
Oh, I Understand WHY they didn't tell me. It sure doesn't make it okay, though. I would NEVER EVER do that to someone.

These kids have been playing together EVERY DAY

They could have AT LEAST made sure the kids played OUTSIDE without EVER mentioning the lice...but NO my kid was in their house and their kids in mine EVERY DAY and they never said a word about it. That is completely inconsiderate and irresponsible. In fact, the day before we found the lice all 3 kids had gone somewhere for a sleepover. I am sure their host has a lovely parting gift

They had NO CONSIDERATION for MY family, or anyone else's families in this situation.
I understand being embarrassed...I sure was when I did the right thing and told everyone that ds has lice (including the very people who gave it to him!)
But that is no excuse

I do want to move on from this, continue our friendship if they can get rid of the lice. I will not hold a grudge. But I am also not willing to pretend like it was okay for them not to say anything just because they were ashamed. This wasn't a single playdate...it was weeks of playing every day. I can't relate to that at all.


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post #67 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubfam View Post
EXACTLY. We have spent HOURS combing Owen's hair and it STILL has nits in it (I am gonna do it again in a few minutes). To do it thoroughly takes several hours. This will be the 4th time...that will prob equal about 12 hours spent combing his hair in 3 days.
Don't forget the vinegar rinse to loosen the glue, and don't try to comb too much hair all at once. If you try to comb through too thick a lock all at once it will make the prongs of the comb open up and it won't get the nits, so for thick locks of hair divide them into smaller sections and do one small section at a time.
post #68 of 172
If this were happening to me I would weigh the factors....

1. They have a longstanding ongoing problem with lice that they are pretty cavalier about.

2. They didn't say a word to you and allowed their children to come and go in and out of your home, and yours at theirs.

3. Their reaction when you told them suggests they don't see it as a big deal.

I wouldn't want friends like this. And I'd have a big trust issue in the future. See I don't even think they lied to you, I just think they didn't even care- which is almost worse.

We avoided my SIL and her two kids for over a year because they had lice. SIL just couldn't seem to bother herself to remove the nits and get rid of it. She kept doing showercaps and goo treatments and then proclaiming they didn't have it (because she'd heard they can't survive xyz goo treatment so they automatically were cured) so I'd go over to her house and couldn't help but stare at the tops of my neices heads and low and behold everytime- lice. On our daughter I nitcombed and had her 100% clear in 2 days zero pesticides, or olive oil or showercap treatments. And then I combed EVERY single day for 2 weeks, and then I did every other day, and then once a week. Because she couldn't get rid of it we stayed away. It's a horrible amount of work to put on someone and I have OCD which causes serious anxiety so for me it's not very negotiable.

I think anything less than telling EVERYONE who was exposed to your child the day you find the lice is seriously rude. Plus why would you want to risk getting it over and over again by not telling those potentially infected? I don't get it.

And I do think it's gross, not the people who have it- the lice themselves. You can say "oh it's nature" all you want, it's nasty. Getting parasites on your person is gross. Having things lay eggs in your hair is gross.

We wouldn't be friends anymore.
post #69 of 172
There are several brands at vitacost.com

I think ours is avalon organics.
post #70 of 172
Thread Starter 
You can add the oil to conditioner or shampoo yourself. I would also bet that you could make some sort of a spray that you spritz on before school or a b-day party or whatever.

You can also use TTO for repelling fleas-just don't use it on cats! You can put it in lotion and use it like a bug repellent when you are camping. You can use it in homemade house cleaners. TTO is VERY useful!

We have a Grocery Outlet here and it is only $2.99 for a bottle of TTO.
Another MDC Mama said that Target has it for about $5 which is a good price.
post #71 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubfam View Post

TTO is VERY useful!

We have a Grocery Outlet here and it is only $2.99 for a bottle of TTO.
Another MDC Mama said that Target has it for about $5 which is a good price.
Can anyone tell me where in Target one would look for TTO?
post #72 of 172
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
Can anyone tell me where in Target one would look for TTO?
I would think that either in the health and beauty area or with supplements and vitamins.
It is sold in a very small bottle...usually only an ounce or two...

Hopefully someone else will know for sure!


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post #73 of 172
Having 2 kids that I couldn't use lice shampoo on (kids with skin conditions), I would have been mightly pissed if one of their friends had lice and their friend's parents didn't tell me.

The last time I had lice as a kid, it took 3 months for my mom to be able to get it under control.
post #74 of 172
Well we fought the lice battle once and won. To this day I still have no clue where they came from. DS has waist long hair so you can imagine the fun it was to get rid of them. Being a boy it was easy for people to tell me to just cut it off but we kept up with the lice shampoo and the nit comb and hours of combing and finally cleared it up.

Are there any good ways to keep them from coming back and with the really long hair anything we could do with it to protect it when we are out and about? I usually braid it now and was told that helps but wondered if there were better idea...and no cutting it off is not one of them
post #75 of 172
Thread Starter 
Well he is playing outside with the neighbor kids right now. I can hear them shrieking and laughing with joy. I have to comb his head tonight anyway so I will just do it when he comes inside

I hope that they get rid of the lice so the kids can play in the winter


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post #76 of 172
Quote:
I may be looking at this from a totally different place though as over here we even let our kids catch chickenpox
Yes, but chickenpox has a definite end to it. You don't have to get rid of it yourself.

Quote:
Also what brands of tea tree oil and rosemary shampoo are people using? This thread inconjuction with DD starting pre-school is making me want to be pro-active on the lice thing.
We use the Jason tea tree shampoo.
post #77 of 172
So would you dilute the TTO in water and then spray on hair (if wanting a preventative measure)? Would it last pre-mixed in a sprayer?

Reading this thread has made my head itch. I cannot stand lice.
post #78 of 172
Ugh, I'm fighting the urge to scratch my head reading this thread.

Honestly, after having lice as a kid and being nearly traumatized over it (at my school it was considered the equivalent of leprosy) I wouldn't let my ds play with those kids until I knew they were lice free. Or at least not in my home. And if the parent's seemed really laid back I would call the school and see what the policy is on lice, and report them if need be.

I sound harsh, yes. I just remember the horrible treatments I had to go through. My cousin and I both got lice at around the same time, and as soon as one of us would get rid of it the other would get it (I originally caught it from school). It lasted a while and was awful! My scalp would burn and I'd cry from the treatments. So no, I wouldn't risk my son going through that because other parent's weren't taking it seriously enough. Flame me if you'd like, but lice is NOT a pleasant thing to have.

I never knew about tto working as a preventative measure. I'll look into that some more.
post #79 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by grniys View Post
Ugh, I'm fighting the urge to scratch my head reading this thread.

Honestly, after having lice as a kid and being nearly traumatized over it (at my school it was considered the equivalent of leprosy) I wouldn't let my ds play with those kids until I knew they were lice free. Or at least not in my home. And if the parent's seemed really laid back I would call the school and see what the policy is on lice, and report them if need be.

I sound harsh, yes. I just remember the horrible treatments I had to go through. My cousin and I both got lice at around the same time, and as soon as one of us would get rid of it the other would get it (I originally caught it from school). It lasted a while and was awful! My scalp would burn and I'd cry from the treatments. So no, I wouldn't risk my son going through that because other parent's weren't taking it seriously enough. Flame me if you'd like, but lice is NOT a pleasant thing to have.

I never knew about tto working as a preventative measure. I'll look into that some more.
How much of this is down to the way that it was handled? I'm trying really hard not to get this thread shut down, but treating a child with head lice as if they have leprosy is abuse, plain and simple, and I trust that nobody here would do that to their children. There's a lot of talk about it but nobody is actually picking up and running with the point that Orangefoot and I are trying to make.

1) Lice walk, not jump, from head to head. They are parasitic, and their bites itch. Because it can take months to become sensitized to the bites, people frequently have no idea they've got them- that's why checking is so important. In a way, it's something to be proud of- a kid with no friends doesn't have lice, and it's as simple as that. This also means that it is unbelievably difficult to tell where you got an active infestation from if you aren't checking, because the allergic response (itchiness) develops at different times in different people.
2) Lice do not transmit any known disease. They exist solely for the function of sucking our blood. They are not a health hazard in any other sense of the word.
3) Everyone on the planet has a home remedy for head lice.
4) Treatment is not prevention. If you treat your whole family, the little boy next door also has lice and comes to play the next day, then the whole family is going to have lice again :
5) Fashion, as much as anything, has led to this. I noticed that my boys had less problems with nits and lice when we went poo-free. Tying girls hair back is a known effective deterrent- so is brylcream on boys. Generally, nobody does either of these things nowadays.

BUT nobody is actually picking up the crucial point here- of asking what damage we are doing to our children's body image and self-confidence of subjecting them to this treatment in the name of lice. What are we doing to our social relationships and interactions with other children? Is it actually justified? A PP talked about comparing lice to leprosy, but that's pretty disproportionate.
post #80 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
No way would I be willing to have the kids get continually reinfested.
Me either. Absolutely no playdates for a good two weeks minimum, and longer if their mom wouldn't effectively treat her kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathless Wonder View Post
Actually, most of the health organizations are no longer recommending absence from school for head lice.
I don't think that has filtered down to my area. Here you are banned from school until you have treated effectively. They do lice checks in the schools.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alllyssa View Post
If the kids are going to school with lice, I would call the school. Once they know about it, they won't let the kids back until all the lice and eggs are gone and will check.
This! I would ABSOLUTELY call the school if your neighbor is sending her kids to school with lice - that is really unacceptable!

Quote:
Originally Posted by orangefoot View Post
All I am saying is that yes, lice are irritating but in the grand scheme of things there are worse things a neighbour could deliberately expose you to and worse things your children could suffer from which cause them upset.

I may be looking at this from a totally different place though as over here we even let our kids catch chickenpox
I'm down with the chicken pox, and would take it ten times over lice. What worse things could a neighbor expose your kids to? I really can't think of anything worse - cold, flu, pink eye, chicken pox, R rated movie, swearing - nope, I'd take any of those over lice.

I'd feel for your neighbor, but I wouldn't let my kids play with hers until it was resolved.
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