"I hate myself"

[sadie_sabot]

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[LynnS6]

I would seek out a mental health evaluation - it's possible for kids this age to be depressed. It's also possible for her simply not to have the vocabulary to explain that she's feeling sad/unhappy/stressed and "I hate myself" is the way she describes that feeling.

[sadie_sabot]

thank you for your feedback.

I have a lot of concerns about having her labeled anything at such a young age, and I think any evaluations that we accessed through our health insurance would be, as they say, on her permanent record. So I'm trying to get a larger and more complete sense of what is going on before doing anything like that.

[LynnS6]

Her health records are YOUR property. You can choose whether you want to share those with the school or anyone else. If you're really worried about it, you could pay for it out of pocket, and then no insurance company would know.

I understand the concern about labeling, but honestly, what's worse: untreated depression or a label?

Another route, you might start with the school counselor - tell him/her that you've noticed your dd is unhappy at school, and that she's said "I hate myself". The school counselor should be able to determine if you need to take this further.

[sadie_sabot]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Her health records are YOUR property. You can choose whether you want to share those with the school or anyone else. If you're really worried about it, you could pay for it out of pocket, and then no insurance company would know.

while it's technically true that her records are my property, I have seen many cases where people can access other people's records, usually in litigation (in my job I deal with people's med recordss)

I understand the concern about labeling, but honestly, what's worse: untreated depression or a label?

well, if it was so cut and dried, the answer would be obvious. but I'm not yet sure it's so cut and dried, which is why I'm trying to gather ideas from other folks about how to approach this. I also have a lot of concerns about things that can happen when you engage "professionals" in mental health, and how parents can lose the right to choose for their child.

Another route, you might start with the school counselor - tell him/her that you've noticed your dd is unhappy at school, and that she's said "I hate myself". The school counselor should be able to determine if you need to take this further.

good idea, thank you, and thank you for your response, too.

[Daffodil]

My DD is about the same age, and she sometimes says similar things. I think it does mean she feels really bad about herself at the time - but not clinically-depressed-needs-to-see-a-counselor bad. I take it about as seriously as I would if she said she hated me or wanted me to die. If she said that, I'd understand she was really angry, but I wouldn't think she meant it the way an adult would, or that she felt that way all the time, or that our relationship was really screwed up. My DD is clearly pretty sensitive to feeling that someone else is disappointed in her, and prone to feeling disappointed with herself. Probably more so than average, and I do think this is likely to be something of a problem in her life. But I'm pretty confident that she's basically happy.

[sadie_sabot]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

My DD is about the same age, and she sometimes says similar things. I think it does mean she feels really bad about herself at the time - but not clinically-depressed-needs-to-see-a-counselor bad. I take it about as seriously as I would if she said she hated me or wanted me to die. If she said that, I'd understand she was really angry, but I wouldn't think she meant it the way an adult would, or that she felt that way all the time, or that our relationship was really screwed up. My DD is clearly pretty sensitive to feeling that someone else is disappointed in her, and prone to feeling disappointed with herself. Probably more so than average, and I do think this is likely to be something of a problem in her life. But I'm pretty confident that she's basically happy.

thank you for this. I tend to think of my dd as basically happy, as well, but she is also sensitive and can be pretty intense (gotta love our scorpio children!). The thing is, there was nothing challenging going on this morning at all. she was probably a little annoyed because I was rushing her out the door, but...we kinda go through that every morning. hmmm. maybe I can change that...

I sent her teacher an email asking if she's noticed anything; I put in a call to my personal therapist and will ask her what she makes of it, I intend to talk to the school counselor...and am grateful for the feedback I'm getting here, as well.