Oh no! My 5 year old wants to shave her head! - Page 4

[*Erin*]

Originally Posted by sadie_sabot

this is a super good point.



my dd really wanted a mullet and I really couldn't hack the idea. she also wants bangs and we haven't done that, either, but if she really insisted, absolutely, she could have bangs and even (groan) a mullet. On the mullet, stalling worked. on the bangs, we'll see.

my 6 yr old wants a mullet! WHY?
A mullet???!!!

she wanted to shave her head too, some months back. she had GORGEOUS long blond water-like hair. sigh. i suggested a bob to start with, and then shorter later. she loved the bob, especially the bangs. then a month ago, she started begging for a pixie cut-i let her get a looooong pixie cut. it's absolutely precious, totally suits her.

on the shaved head, there are some good points made on this thread, but i just didnt feel ok with her doing that at her age. for what it's worth, i wouldn't let my 6 yr old boy have a shaved head either~so i say nay. and a mullet? i say a BIG ol nay! (but to dd im nonchalant, and suggest a shorter pixie cut or something else-never forbid anything, or they will not rest until they have it then!)

[kamilla626]

So... any update?

[Freefromitall]

I would tell her that it's too cold(I wouldn't buzz anyone's head right now) and if she still wants to do it this summer, she can.

[bluey]

Originally Posted by limabean

I guess the obvious response to this is ... then don't cut your hair.

My MIL had a strange emotional attachment to her daughters' long hair. She never outright forbade them to cut it, but she gave them major guilt trips over it, talking about how "sad" it would make her. The girls didn't cut their hair until they were in their 20s, and even then they only cut it to shoulder length. And they had so much guilt over even doing that -- it was this ridiculously huge deal. That is what made me sad -- that hair length was more important to their mom than the girls' happiness and freedom of expression.

I am 32 years old and my mother STILL does this. It took me years to be able to cut my hair without hearing her voice in my head with that reproachful tone..."oh honey, but you look so niiiiiice with long hair" Alright I lie, I still do hear it, in person even. Just now I squash it down

OP, I get what you're saying, I really do. My middle daughter has very strong opinions of how things should be in her world. When she told me her hair was too long and she wanted it cut, I hesitated. Her hair does take forever to grow (unlike mine or oldest dd's) So she took matters into her own hands and well...it wasn't pretty. After that I loosened up some and now they all wear their hair however they want. Which I guess is what I always wanted when I was a kid

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by limabean

I guess the obvious response to this is ... then don't cut your hair.

My MIL had a strange emotional attachment to her daughters' long hair. She never outright forbade them to cut it, but she gave them major guilt trips over it, talking about how "sad" it would make her. The girls didn't cut their hair until they were in their 20s, and even then they only cut it to shoulder length. And they had so much guilt over even doing that -- it was this ridiculously huge deal. That is what made me sad -- that hair length was more important to their mom than the girls' happiness and freedom of expression.

Originally Posted by bluey

I am 32 years old and my mother STILL does this. It took me years to be able to cut my hair without hearing her voice in my head with that reproachful tone..."oh honey, but you look so niiiiiice with long hair" Alright I lie, I still do hear it, in person even. Just now I squash it down

OP, I get what you're saying, I really do. My middle daughter has very strong opinions of how things should be in her world. When she told me her hair was too long and she wanted it cut, I hesitated. Her hair does take forever to grow (unlike mine or oldest dd's) So she took matters into her own hands and well...it wasn't pretty. After that I loosened up some and now they all wear their hair however they want. Which I guess is what I always wanted when I was a kid

My mom did this, too. Even now, when I cut my hair AT ALL (it's pretty long, so we're just talking about, say, 5 inches below the shoulder to 2 inches below the shoulder), she purses her lips and looks disappointed. It bothers me so, so much--if I'm happy with my hair, why do you care that I don't like Rapunzel. Honestly, the disapproval hurts--still--particularly because it's so irrational.

If dd wanted to shave her head, I would probably ask her to wait until warmer weather, and then if she still wanted to do it, I'd let her go ahead (in part b/c little kids are rather impulsive, so I'd want some time to pass to make sure it wasn't just a whim she'd regret). Honestly, it might me cringe inside a tiny bit (b/c she has gorgeous, curly hair, and *I* love it)--but that's MY issue, and I would never want to put that on her or make her feel like conformity to arbitrary social conventions should trump her desire to be herself and do what she wants with her own body.