my dad

[violets8]

is driving me to tears. We are not circumcising our son and my dad keeps calling me and saying all these horrid things. I have sent him tons of links and information that I have found here and he will not back off. I called my mom sobbing she said to tell him that I love him and appreciate his concern but that we were not going to discuss this. I tried saying that and he kept on and on to the point that i almost hung up on him. It kills me that soooo much drama surrounds a little penis that is smaller than a centimeter and isn't even here yet. My dad needs to back off and other than ignoring him I don't know what to do. I told him today that no one else is giving us any grief over this and that everyone else is very supportive he proceeded to say they just don't care enough to say anything. I told him that I was concerned that he was going to say something hurtful or give my son a complex about his body and that if he did that i would be very mad at him. He then said I should know him better than that. I want to cry. I told him i am on bed rest and have toxemia. I can't have this conversation with you...he kept going until he got called away at work he said he would call me back later...I am not answering the phone. I have a headache and i can tell my blood pressure is up. thanks for listening ladies.

[kellybelly]

I'm sorry your dad is causing you so much stress right now. It is not fair of him to not respect your decision as a parent, let alone badger you right now when you are supposed to be resting. He made his parental decisions, now you get to make yours. Try to get some rest, and don't feel bad about taking that phone off the hook! The health of you and your little baby are more important than convincing your dad.

[amitymama]

I can't say it any better than kellybelly, she gave great advice. Hang in there mama!

[Alicia P]

Awe, you poor thing!!!! I wouldn't take anymore calls from him, at least for a few days. Let the machine get it! If he just found out about your decision, maybe he just needs some time to think about it.

It is your decision to make and not his!!
He can only make you feel as bad as you let him...

If after a couple of days of ignore, he still insists on trying to make you feel bad about it, hang up on him. Sooner or later he will get the picture that you have made up your mind and it's not open for discussion..

Do something relaxing for yourself, like a bubble bath, or a tiny bowl of chocolate ice cream!

[Marcimama]

I would really not discuss it any more. If he brings it up I would have a standard response, "Thank you, but we have already made up our minds after much research and thought. Please don't feel the need to bring it up again." This is just one way that I think parents have trouble giving up control. You may need to be a bit assertive and help your dad understand that YOU are the parent now.
Note: I have been there...with different subjects. In fact, when we called my parents to tell them we had our 1st and what her name was, my dad's response was to tell me how HE thought we should spell it, instead of the standard spelling we picked out. I couldn't believe it! Hugs! We have all been there

[violets8]

Thanks ladies....I am going to leave the phone off the hook and I ate some chocolate. You are all right. My dad likes to be in charge so this changing of the guard has to be difficult for him as well. I am not saying him bullying me is ok just that your replies reminded me to look at where he is coming from. I am going to give it a couple days and try again. Thanks ladies!

[moderngal]

chocolate is a very good idea. : mama.

[aurora_skys]

applause for standing up for your sons bodily integrity!!! this is a battle i have fought with my family as well and i ended up saying "its not open for discussion!" over and over again every time they tried to bring it up. now they get it and leave me alone. i know i wont ever change their minds on circumcision, but at least i have made it clear that they are to leave me alone about it.

kudos to you!!

as far as worrying about him giving your son a complex or something, thats very far off in the future! rest easy for now. we are all learning how to bring out our mama bears so by the time your son is old enough to understand words of criticism, you will already know how to deal with it effectively.

[LegalScrapper]

My standard response is "you had your chance to raise your children. It is my turn now."