MORE Bullying Problems - WWYD (Update Post #15 & #20) - Page 2

[LynnS6]

My heart goes out to you - it's a tough decision.

I would make the decision based on three things:
1. What my gut told me - does your gut tell you that the changes they've implemented are going to work and that the school will continue to stay on top of the decision?
2. Are you able to "drop in" regularly during both school recess and the aftercare program to spy on the playground to make sure things are going OK. If your schedule isn't flexible enough for you to be there 1-2 times a week when you're not expected, I'd be hesitant.
3. Are you willing to move him in the middle of the year if the situation deteriorates again? I'd be willing to give the situation one, and only one, more chance. (And I wouldn't worry about the $10,000 - are they really going to come after you for that money if you've removed your child for repeated bullying? I'd love to see that court case!)

Our son just told us that he'd gotten bullied on the playground during recess yesterday. : So, yes, it can happen anywhere. However, this hasn't been a pattern in the school. I contacted his teacher, and she's got a plan of action. If that doesn't work, we'll get the school counselor and the principal involved. (But it is one of the reasons our son isn't in aftercare, I don't trust that program.)

This has been a pattern (2x is a pattern) in this school. How comfortable are you giving them one last chance?

[Ellien C]

I'm so sorry about your situation.

I want to weigh in a little about the after-care program. They're outside for an hour with minimal supervision and direction? I'm all for unstructured time for kids, but they need adult leadership in there as well. Our aftercare program has 1/2 hour increments that seem to work well. First it's circle time, then snack (fist half hour) then reading (or just looking at books) next half hour. Then outdoors for 1/2 hour and the last half hour is indoors. Just a thought that a large group of kids might need some more structured time.

We are currently dealing with some teasing around freckles in my school, so I'm reading the replies carefully.

[AllisonR]

What a complex issue. Now I've read your post about him possibly being bored, i.e. learning the alphabet when he reads on 2nd grade level... I agree, you don't want him to be bored at this point, which in severity might make him act out of frustration, or dumb down to fit in, or just learn to coast by in boredom.... Does the school have an AP or gifted or pull-out program, or does that only start in 4th grade? (Im not in the states, just guessing the terminology here based on other MDC threads).

I also agree with Lynn about the money. If you pull him for repeated bullying, then they will work something out with you regarding the finances, even if they split it 50-50. I can't imagine they would be interested in going to court over it.

Betwen the public school, after school, new neighbor.... it seems you really have some choices now. Just having those options, IMO, means you can much more realistically decide if staying put, or changing, is the best option. If you work with his current school in implementing these changes, would you be able to switch him to public school, after school.... at the next semester or after the winter break? Would this be possible?

[monkeybum]

Well, I have arranged for a trial period next week at the public school/daycare at my work. He can go 3 days to public school and 2 days to my work to try it out, (but we'll keep his spot at his current school until I see how it goes).

This morning he was really crying, sobbing that he didn't want to go to his school, he didn't want to walk in by himself, (which is normally not an issue) and cried until I walked him down the hall. Then he didn't want to go in the classroom. He was quite upset when I left - not at all like him. He kept saying he didn't want to go because he's bored there...but by upset he was, it seemed like more than boredom.

When I picked him up yesterday, he was playing happily, the outside supervisor was giving him lots of attention, he was saying bye to all the kids, they had a new playground supervisor and the 3 of them were walking the perimeter of the playground...so it sounds like they did make some changes. I guess I am just skeptical about how long it will last. I am almost thinking it is the calibre of the kids.

So as much as the school seems willing to do something about it, I don't believe they spoke to the parents either this time or the time in the summer. They don't want to offend any parents I'm sure, they want their money! (Is that cynical)?

So now that I've got my head around him moving, I keep thinking about how great it would be to have him at the daycare at my work 2x per week - we could have lunch together, which would be nice. I could easily keep an eye on him there too, and the teacher is great, but I do worry about him being in such a mixed group, (though he would be one of the oldest - maybe that's a good thing).

The other days he's at public school, I think that it would be great if he could start to make some friends from our neighbourhood, and he has to move by grade 1 anyway, so now I'm thinking why not just move him now? Originally I thought we'd have the option of him staying at the private school to grade 8, but I've done the math and that's not feasible with #2 going there too. So I've made the decision that they'll both go to public school beginning in grade 1, so I am now thinking he's better to move there now, get to know the kids in his grade, etc and not have to move again (he was in another daycare for 2 years and was VERY sad to have left his friends there - don't want to do that to him again in 2 years).

Ugh, it's just soooo hard moving kids to new schools....it breaks my heart, I'm scared he won't get along with the kids, teacher, he'll be bored, get bullied there, etc..... Aahhhh!! Tomorrow morning we're going to meet his teacher and we'll see how the trial goes next week I guess. Not sure what to tell him though...(he's VERY excited to go to the daycare at my work; he's been there picking up / dropping off my Toddler and loves it there).

Any other opinions are welcome!

[sbgrace]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...X0DER&v=glance

I've got this book in my cart at amazon because I've already seen signs that my son is sort of a target.

This has to be really, really hard. It would break my heart.